The Tortoise General: DJ Honda + Jeru tha Damaja "El Presidente" Video Review

Today we're going to review the video for a little known Jeru the Damaja song from 2000 called "El Presidente". 2000! That's almost Jeru's heyday.

Before we start I want to be very clear: we highly respect Mr. Damaja around here and refuse to shit on his work. He's a legend. He's also very good at Twitter:

Hoover Damaja instagr.am/p/Jdi3RmkNJU/

— Jeru The Damaja (@Jeruthedamaja) April 16, 2012

HAHAH? Anyway. The song is illy even though I'm not much of a DJ Honda fan. Enjoy the track, then we'll examine the weird ass video...

Well, the first thing that I notice is that this is from DJ Honda Films. The powerhouse of Hollywood.

Next we see Jeru, dressed in his traditional sun touching gear: camo. Perfect. Plus the minds at DJ Honda films decided to go innovative and have the video take place under a bridge. Very industrial. Nothing surprising at all here. This is grade A generic. Why in the hell are they under that bridge? Was it the only parking available? "Yo Son, Joy Garden is having a coupon or some shit, we had to park way over on Newport and hoof it. It's mad dank and musty under here." - Jeru (probably).

Then we have the normal street corner "club" set up with lots of logos and not many people in the crowd. Remember when Public Enemy had a street concert and the shit was packed? Look at this: Are they just rehearsing?

DJ Honda: 8 People Max

PE: Loads of people

I guess it's to be expected. Who's heard of DJ Honda anyway? Nobody. Get ya crowdz up.

Then it's a lot of normal spittin' in the street. That's pretty much the deal with rap videos, right?

Now, Jeru's hat isn't normal for videos, but there it is. And everything else: par for the course.

Then we finally get something new, and it ties into the El Presidente theme! Jeru is making a political speech...at a podium and everything. So professional.

Looky...he's got guards (hey ladies) and everything. A guy (secret service) is even talking on a walkie talkie!

There is a lot more rapping, then Presidente Damaja orders his Secretary of Wax to play in traffic (literally)!

"GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU DARN PUNKS, I'LL...oh, Mr. Presidente....I didn't realize..." Then DJ Honda is riding around the city in a stretched Navigator limo. He's poppin' bottles, and scratching records on his guard's lap.

Now that's a party? Then, suddenly, Jeru is in the limo with a lady. Where's ya turntable, lady? Also, what happened to Honda? Was he carjacked? Was the limo commandeered for official presidential business? Is this a different limo?

Jeru is in the limo for for exactly one second, then it cuts to Presidente Damaja taking a lady, uh, "upstairs". She drops rose pedals on him while he raps.

So romantic

Then he's back at the limo, then he's back at the podium, then he's back in the hotel. Presidente, you scad. But wait. Suddenly, flower pedal lady assassinates Jeru while DJ Honda watches. WHAT? I thought you two were bros. I thought Jeru and that lady were truly in love. Now this. WHAT A SHOCKING TWIST.

Was DJ Honda was against you all along Jeru? Maybe because you made him spin in traffic? Or because you didn't pack out that block party? OR MAYBE BECASUE YOU JACKED HIS LIMO? I don't know! Is Jeru dead? Nope. He's at the podium. BUT NOW HIS GUARDS GET A MESSAGE ON THEIR EARBUDS (not Air Bud). They are probably being told that Jeru just got assassinated in the previous scene.

What is going on? Is someone else going to assassinate him? I'll hand it to these guys, when Honda and Jeru get together anything could happen (like one of them gets stabbed).

What might happen? Where is this all going? Well, if you guessed that Jeru would smoke a cigar with the guy who just watched him get stabbed, you were right! Have a cigar!