Monday, September 9, 2013

Rap is Weird: EMINEM on ESPN






UH. #1: EMINEM, give up your day job and become a comedian! You're clearly the next Mike Myers (this guy not this guy)!




 #2 - Cool video. Cool song. VMA's we have a new champ.



 #3 - Classic. Typical teenager...doing weird stuff, answering "questions" from adults with cryptic jive.


"I spit A.B.C.'s / skip the D's and rock the mic with E'S(PN)" - Eminem

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

NELLY SAYS THANK YOU

I had to break my summer silence for this one. I'll just get right to the point (or bullet points):

- Remember that girl in Cleveland who was kidnapped and held hostage for like a decade?  Nelly thanked her.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Kendrick Lamar "Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe (Remix JAY Z)"



This is the song where Kendrick Lamar RIPs Jay-Z. Bodies. DOAs. Whatever.

You can call me a Kendrick Lamar fan...I'll accept that label. You can also say that I respect Jay-Z, but at the same time, the last time I thought he killed it was when "In My Lifetime, Vol. 1" dropped, after that it's been all downhill. Like skiing.

Anyway. One of Kendrick's standout tracks is "Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe". It's a perfect song. literally perfect. If you make a song like this, you don't fuck with it. Just put it out there and let it be. Here it is.






See. That's some laid back shit with masterwork on both production and lyrics.

So what is the worst thing that could happen to this song? Why not bring in Jay-Z for a guest.


Why is this a terrible idea?? First of all, like I already said, the track is perfect. It doesn't need anything else. Second, Kendrick kills it all by himself. He holds this shit down and anyone trying to hang is just going to get steamrolled. Third, this sounds like a Kendrick Lamar track, it has all his elements that nobody else has. If you try to hang on this track, you're going to look like a biter. So, this track is a minefield, if any other MC sets foot on it, they're going to die a humiliating death.

Now, whoever came up with this idea clearly knew that this would be a tough track to guest on, but they wanted to get Kendrick some sales so they went big. The biggest. Jay-Z. Everyone loves Jay-Z, and he should be lyrically talented enought to keep up with a rookie like Kendrick , right? WRONG.






Right away I noticed that Kendrick went off topic for the remix, I think he's trying to set up his guest (Mr. Z). Anyway, it sounds a little flat until he starts bringing up other MCs and then it turns to fire. A+ level lyrics. Then we have Jay-Z.

Jigga.

Dude sounds so out of touch with reality that I can't believe that he still moves units. Who buys this shit?

"Up in the clouds, me and my spouse"

Ugh. So weak. Then he has the Kendrick Lamar echo thrown onto his voice and it sounds like biting. A fucking old rich dude rapping about having cocktails on a private jet and hanging out with the former Secretary of state. "I'll buy a song about that" - all the kids (but not me). He's like the Mitt Romney of rap, rich, elderly, and out of touch.

Just look at what Jay-Z said in his famous '47%' quote:

"There are 47 percent of the people who like real hip hop no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who recognize real, who are dependent upon the underground, who believe that real music is a victim of the mainstream, who believe the artists have a responsibility to drop dope tracks, who believe that they are entitled to decent lyrics, to ill beats, to hard shit, to you-name-it. ... My job is not to worry about those people. I'll never convince them they should just accept commercial rap as hip hop." - Jay-Z in a secret recorded something something...

What a mess.

Fortunately, Kenny comes back in just stabbing. Every line is tough. I think he knew that he had to clean up Jigga's mess, so he borught a mop...and mopped the floor with Jay-Z.

In the end, Jay is killed by his host. KILLED. He's out of touch lyrically. He sounds like a biter. He sounds like a phony. So he gets murdered. Dead. Without a trace. In fact, please remove Jay-Z from the Jay-Z remix. Thank you.

 
BITCH, DON'T KILL MY VIBE SCORE 10/10
BITCH, DON'T KILL MY VIBE (JAY-Z REMIX) SCORE 7/10
BITCH, DON'T KILL MY VIBE (JAY-Z REMIX) SCORE WITHOUT JAY-Z 10/10