I don't know much anything about Young Buck. But I do know that he was in G-Unit, and he might have had a terrible year! It's hard out here for a 2004 Underground Artist of the Year. We have a lot to cover here, so let's go! First of all, right now our friend Young Buck resides in Mississippi, at the Yazoo City Medium Security Federal Prison. He's there on a gun charge. That is no way to live. I know what you're saying: He might be in prision, but at least he's rich. G-G-G-G-Unit! Right? I mean, look at his video of him dancing in front of his mansion (in the "hood"). So rich. Well, he got evicted from there.
In fact, our friend declared banruptcy in 2010, and he had to sell all his stuff. That SUCKS. Anyway, here is one of those things that he sold. We spotted it on eBay! G-Unit!
YEP. Young Buck had to part with his Southern Entertainment Awards "Everything Underground" Underground Artist of the Year Award! I must admit, that it would be tough to part with anything as important as that. But he HAD to, and then it sold on eBay for $275. That's a lot of denerio.
He also sold his G-Unit Vibe Award. This one I actually remember because when Young Buck won this award, he also took the time to stab someone at the Awards ceremony who had asked Dr. Dre for an autograph or something. This award sold for $355.
That doesn't seem like much, for a stabbing and all.
I'm not much of a Young Buck fan (or an award fan), but why are they taking his awards away from him? Look, let the guy have his awards. He earned 'em. If you bought them maybe you should give them back to him. Consider it a gift to a guy who is way down on his luck.
Finally, we've learned that Young Buck is broke and in jail, at least he's got his health, right? Well, he was also targeted in a drive-by shooting in 2012, and even though his SUV was hit 11 times, he was safe. So, yep, he's got his health. That's about it. Maybe buy a Young Buck album to support our friend. He's got like seven albums and twenty mixtapes. Buy one. You need to because I won't, even if they are just $1.75.
Hey-Ho! It's time for the Tortoise General Blog to catch up with some of our old friends! Today let's drop in on everybody's favorite West Coast rapper: Spice 1! 187 Proof! Dr. Bomb from the Bay! What have you been doing Spice 1? I'm pretty sure you're still rapping but I haven't bought one of your albums since 1990-Sickway back in 1996. Why not? I don't know! I'm sure everyone under the age of 40 is wondering "who is this Spice 1 fellow?". Which is a good question since his first album came out in 1991.
An old album that I never bought.
I guess he was discovered by Too Short somewhere out west, later he was discovered by me when I heard something off of his album 187 He Wrote and proceeded to buy the shit and listen to it a lot. I liked it so much that I eventually picked up several more of his albums. So did a lot of people because several of his albums went gold. Spice 1 was the epitome of gangsta rap, if others did it, Spice 1 did it bigger and with more gun shots. That's my cup of tea (violence tea). His name is an acrynom for Sex, Pistols, Indo, Cash, and Entertainment, so that sums up his music and philosophy on life. Here is one of his early hits which I can honestly say that I listened to about a million times:
That's still a good song! Very good! Here is one of his more, uh, recent and colorful songs (from 1990-sick):
Kill 'em ALL! Hahahah. So fun. Not fun for the raido though. Well, let's start with the good news: Spice 1 is still making records! I think! It's really hard to tell. Now for the not so good news: Spice 1 was shot in the face! In front of his parent's house! Recently! Like 2007. He survived, but the thing is that he was shot over dumb shit. Spice was "passed out" sitting in his Escalade when someone walked up to the passenger side of the vehicle and tried to "jimmy" the door. Spice 1 "demanded to know it was was and was shot". Yikes. Is it time to move? Is the Bay area is getting bad? I don't know. Here is the full story as told by Mr. 1 himself...
I wish that hadn't happend to you Spice 1! As I was researching this post I came across the 2007 news story about the shooting and it has a very interesting tidbit about Spice 1:
"[Spice 1's] stepfather, Jerry Craven, 57, said that 'everybody loves him...[he would] give you his last dime."
So Spice 1 is super nice? And generous! I didn't think he was nice at all based on his music. Did you think Spice 1 was a nice fella? Probably not. But, do you think that Spice 1 was upset that his dad was telling the news his non-gangsta secrets?
Okay, so other than getting shot in the face, Spice 1, where u at? Well, he's made like fourteen albums total, the most recent one "Home Street Home" came out this year. He's pretty much had an album drop every few years since 1991! "It's a living" - Spice 1. Well, he didn't say that but here is what he actually did say about his current projects:
Transcript: "Yo. What it do man. This is Spice 1 bossalemmechicochezmilchi. Posted up at Dean Land Studios. YouknowwhatI'mSayin? Thug world in this mother f*****. KnowwhatI'msaying? OG Ruth. KnowwhatI'msaying? The Treezio. 'Bout to drop some more hot s***. YouknowwhatI'mSayin? We just give y'all some cool s***. For the females to dance to at the club. We about to drop some gangsta s*** next. YouknowwhatI'mSayin? Just stay tuned n****. YouknowwhatI'mSayin? Blah!" There you go. I can't understand some of that, but I think some of it has to do with music! Blah! So how is his recent stuff? Here he go "I'm A Ridah" from Home Street Home. SWING THAT SHIT?
Not bad. Except that the chorus is taken from the horrible song "Tom's Diner" which I've already declared off-limits in all music (see my review ofB-Real's "Don't Ya Dare Laugh"). But aside from that, this is a pretty good gangsta rap song. He stays heated like charcoal! Good. Your mama jokes. Good. Sounds professional. Spice 1 is still 1990-Sick, just like how I remember.
So I guess Spice 1 hasn't changed (except for getting shot), it's society that changed. So catch up on ya gangsta shit and buy Home Street Home, support real gangsta rap!
WELCOME TO THE GHETTO SCORE 10/10 KILL EM ALL SCORE 5/10 I'M A RIDAH SCORE 510
Why did we pick Wish Bone of all people for a feature? Let me answer that for you:
If Bone Thugs ‘N Harmony was a family, Bone would be their last name, right? We have Layzie, Krayzie, Flesh ‘N, Bizzy, and Wish. So Wish Bone’s first thug name is Wish. A RAPPER NAMED WISH. HAHAHAHHAHAH! That’s the worst rap name ever, seriously, if not the worst one of the worst. But Flesh ‘N is really, really bad as well. So what’s up with Wish lately? What have you been doing since your glory days when you and your team was going six times platinum? Hopefully not playing shows in the middle of Missouri, but instead living it up, big time. So Wish, where u at?
Let me back up for a second, I was (at one point) a huge fan of Bone. First, because of their association with Eazy-E, then because of their amazingly unique sound and dedication to it. I still kind of like it, but I don't play it or buy it or listen to it ever. For me, Wish was the most memorable harmonizing thug. He was the one guy whose voice I could actually pick out, so he was an early standout. I was a fan. That all changed when the Mo Thugs Family dropped though, I just couldn’t bring myself to buy that album (the cover is WACK and the radio track was awful). By the time “The Art Of War” dropped, I was done with the whole package. I bought it, spun it, and put it in long term storage. I never looked back and never bought anything else. Truth. We all remember 1st of tha Month and Tha Crossroads, but here is an example of really good early Bone track featuring our man with the correctly spelled name, Wish:
Those were the days.
Let's move on. So what happened to our boy? Well, he isn’t in Bone anymore, I guess. But that’s probably temporary since he is cousins with two of the main guys: Steve and Stan (a/k/a Layzie and Flesh ‘N). So he’s kind of a permanent member by blood. Even if he’s out, HE’S IN. Ya dig? I’m sure we all remember that he also had a son named Lil’ Wish, so he’s gotta keep working. So let’s check the craft.
Chuck, Steve, Stan, Tony, and Bryon
Well, after their dozens of industry awards, huge album sales, and the album “Art of War”, Bone (along with Wish) went on to record two more albums for Ruthless Records. 2000’s “BTNHResurrection” (great title?), and 2002’s “Thug World Order” (featuring Phil Collins, LOL). Nobody heard a single song from these albums. In between these albums everybody released solo albums except for Wish. Not long after that, their contract with Ruthless ended and things got shook up: Bizzy was kicked out of the group for mental health issues (I guess). This was right around the time he was on “America’s Most Wanted” talking about hisvery bad childhood. Very weird. Oh, and also Flesh 'N pistol whipped his own mom. Yikes. What do you expect? They are thugs after all. Mo thugs.
At some point Bone started skipping around from record company to record company, members came and went, and they managed to release four more albums (!) and also reassembled with all five members and formed their own record company for the last release. In addition, tons of solo and group side projects were released, but nothing made even the tiniest dent in the music world. So think about this: there are probably three hundred Bone songs that you have never heard. Collect ‘em all!
The greatest generation.
Wish was along for the ride all the way through, sticking with the group and never going solo. Finally in 2001 he and Krayzie split from the Bone to pursue solo careers after creating their own record company. Anger and bitterness was spread online between the members, things were said. Feelings were hurt. But family is family and amends were made (I guess). So Wish was pretty busy with his record company because they released like eight records that you haven’t heard of. Then they renamed the company “The Life Entertainment” (their blog is here) and created “The Life Clothing”. That’s where we’re at today. Who knows what’s going on? One of the shirts has a Krayzie Bone quote which is just a normal thing that everyone says: "Let's be honest, the industry's now overcrowded with garbage." Good quote. Perfect quote. Perfect grammer ("industry's?" really?). Otherwise, the clothes are Bone themed (meaning 20 years outdated), or Australia themed (whuut?), and Krayzie has a mixtape series called The Fixtape which is the best name (let's be honest).
So the answer to “Where U At?” is that Wish is still in the music biz! Hooray? Is he making money? Probably not. Does he have a solo album yet? NO! What? Dude, it’s been like thirty years (not a joke). Do we have a recent song of his to review? Sure…
“No Mas” by Bone
That sounds like your parent’s Bone! Fine. It’s nothing I want to hear. All the distortion on the voices is taxing. And that last guy, holy cheese, get off of my headphones. That rapping is out of line, son (or should I say "sir" since you’re probably 50). Where was I? Oh, was Wish in there? I guess, I don’t know. The song wasn’t that good. And why is it called “No Mas” instead of “No More”? Nobody knows. Nobody knows anything. Nada.
As a bonus for me, “Tha Crossroads” came on my headphones right after “No Mas” so I’ll go ahead and give it a review as well. It is WAY BETTER than No Mas, literally a million times better. I never really liked Crossroads, but I can’t really knock it. The production is nice. The harmonizing makes sense; the flow is great, the content is pseudo-deep and engaging. Bone sound like champions on this track. Everything just works, good song, even though it’s not really my taste. How many rappers talk about helping people not be lonely? None. Also, this track makes it clear that production is a key for these guys to succeed, I wonder if DJ U-Neek still helps Bone out, or did he get busy with other projects? I think Bone really needs to get him back. Give him an Australia shirt or something. All a thug could do was cry, cry. So tap my forehead and let my eyes disappear, this song is okay still!
So...WHERE YOU AT COOLIO? I think we all know the answer to this one: he’s writing cookbooks and appearing on Food Network's "Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off" reality cooking show. No duh. He’s not a high profile chef, but he’s also above your Uncle’s level because some people know about him. So he's a celebrity who is a chef? Is he really a celebrity still? I don't know. Let's see who else is on the show: Aaron Carter, Miss USA, Cheech Marin, someone from *NSync, a d-list actor, and others. Yep, those guys aren't celebrities at all. I mean maybe in their day (20+ years ago), but not in 2012. Plus, Coolio's hair is really gross for a cook.
Ladies and gentlemen, your chef for the evening
But how did he go from the biggest name in friendly-gangsta funk to a line cook*? Let’s go CSI on this case.
*Not literally a line cook.
So we all remember the song Fantastic Voyage, don’t we? It wasn’t the worst song, but it was on TV and the radio all the time and it got played out fast. For a while there it was on MTv like every half hour. That’s a lot! It was a big smash hit! It went platinum twice and it pushed the lousy album “It Takes a Thief” platinum too. So that’s like millions of people checking this guy out in 1994.
Then lightening striked twice (yeah I know that isn’t the word, deal with it). Coolio did it again with the song Gangsta’s Paradise from the “Dangerous Minds Soundtrack”. This time (with the help of the very good singer LV) Coolio made a song go 3x platinum. It’s still being listed as one of the best hip hop songs ever according to VH1 (looool, like they know). Now Fastastic Voyage was played hard on TV and radio, but this song was on constantly. It was a nightmare. There was no escaping it. Your mom and her sister probably spent some time enjoying it (separately). And the video? Hilarious. Michelle Pfeiffer is in it and the whole thing is intense (definitely a good idea for a future post).
So Coolio was a big name! We can argue that his hair helped with his sales because of his brand or something, and that would be correct, but it didn’t help with me. I never liked Coolio’s music. I bought It Takes a Thief and can honestly say that it was a waste of my money. It sucked, but it sold. I didn’t bother with anything related to “Dangerous Minds” and I don’t regret it.
That's barbed wire.
So what happened after that? Did Coolio release any more songs? Does he have an album out right now? Who knows? Not me. Not you. Not anyone. Oh, and what’s up with the cooking?
Well. He had an album in 1996 called “My Soul”, and GOOD GRIEF I bought that one too. I must have shot that bastard out the window quick though because none of the songs look familiar except for C U When U Get There which is Coolio trying to copy off that Bone Thugs Crossroads thing. Sheesh.
So except for little tidbits, this is where I officially lost track of Coolio(and so did everyone else). He had an album in 2001 called “Coolio.com”, yep the internet was pretty new at that point. Then in 2002 we have “El Cool Magnifico”, in 2006 “The Return of the Gangsta”. Then in 2008 we have “Steal Hear”, so that’s recent. Finally there might be an album called “From the Bottom 2 The Top”. Is it out there? Who knows? It looks like a lot of these are imports somehow.
Besides all of the music and the cooking, Coolio was in a lot of TV and Films (’96 – ’00), then less (’01 – ’06), then “Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off” (’12). We all remember seeing him in all of those things right?
And the cookbook(s?). Whatevs. This is a music blog. So let’s check a newer song, shall we. Let's get raw.
We’ll go with a little track called Cruis Off(or maybe it’s called Cruise Off). Why not. It is definitely on his most recent album, but it is also on “Steal Hear”, so we can cover a song off of two albums at once. Plus, it’s one of the few current songs where Coolio doesn’t bring in a guest. Let’s go!
“When I roll my Chevrolet I neva take the cruise off, neva take the cruise off, neva take the cruise off (repeat x 100,000)”. It might sound like he’s saying that he never takes his shoes off in the Chevrolet, but it’s the cruise control that he leaves on. I bet the shoes thing is more accurate though (I take the cruise off sometimes but rarely take the shoes off, that feels weird).
Then the rapping starts…and WHOA. The voice. You noticed it right? It’s like a surfer voice. Hang 10. “So annoying” – teenage girls. Is that how Coolio used to sound? I don’t remember. I hope not. It’s grating.
When you spin this track neva turn the treble up, neva turn the treble up, neva turn the treble up. Word. It’ll blow your out ya speakers and ya eardrums. It’s like weird whining that just doesn’t end. I can’t even hear what he’s saying, I can’t focus. But I must push through. What is this song about?
Driving around? Yo, Coolio, you’re almost fifty years old. You don’t need to be driving around town for no reason. You’re way into adulthood. And let’s be honest, nobody is yelling “avalanche” when they see you driving your car. That’s just dumb and it doesn’t happen ever. I can see how people might see you driving around and MIGHT ask you what you’re doing. But that’s a stretch. I mean the answer is obvious: you’re driving around. But if someone did ask you “What are you doing, dude?”. I guarantee that you would not answer with “Malibuin’”. That’s weird and it doesn’t answer the question at all. Just be honest Coolio. You’re driving around like a sixteen year old. Are you looking for places to skate? No. Are you looking for a good spot for vandalism? No. Are you looking for an inexpensive sit-down dinner that you can take your adult children to (along with their spouses and families)? YEP! That’s what fifty year olds do. Get your song correct.
Eventually Coolio drops his whiny voice, thank goodness, then the second verse is like a bad transition verse, and the last verse is the worst. For some reason, he decided to use a way off-beat scramble flow that should not exist. Honestly, if you printed up the lyrics to the third verse and tried to rap them to this beat without hearing the original first, you would suffer and die. It can’t be done. More importantly, it shouldn’t be done. What kind of flow is this? It’s like ear poison. Go back to the whining and get on the beat.
Another thing, why is this beat so epic? I mean, I like beats that sound large and have that "big drum" that they bang in the symphony (timpani?). Cool. Use any drum you want to. Big drums. Formal drums. Wear a tux and hit a drum. I don’t mind, it’s your song. But that doesn’t mean the music sounds good. I mean, what? It just isn’t very good. Plus, it sounds like the beat is trying to remind everyone of 1993 gangsta funk + a sonata from the 1600's. Nobody wants to hear classical music, and we remember what g-funk was and we don't want more of it. Move on. Get a fresh sound or at least not a gimmicky one. Everyone in LA played that style out twenty years ago, okay. Stop it. You’re an adult now.
CONCLUSION: What have we learned? Coolio sold a billion albums or so, and has tried to follow up his success by making like twenty albums nobody has heard. He’s been busy with everything imaginable in Hollywood, his latest music sucks, he drives around, and his cooking is out there. So, good career! Celebrity cook off and Rachel Ray?
Domino Y’all! Domino the rapper, not the producer from Hieroglyphics, or the game Dominos, duh. If you ain’t heard, long ago (1993-94) there was once a rapper named Domino who was tearing up the charts. You might know him from the Notorious B.I.G. line "Here we go, here we go, but I'm not Domino" (okay, maybe not). Anyway, this was a time when the West Coast dominated hip hop. 2Pac, Too $hort, and Eazy-E all had albums in the top five (“Strictly…”, “Get In Where You Fit In” and “It's On (Dr. Dre) 187um Killa”* respectively). “Doggy Style” by Snoop Dogg was the talk of everybody’s town. It was a good time for rap, a bad time for parents.
Domino’s hit song “Ghetto Jam” climbed the charts and eventually knocked Babyface out of the number #4 spot. It was Domino’s first and biggest hit (ever). Today the song sounds a bit dated, but take my word for it: it was amazing in 1994. Domino struck everyone with his melodic flow and his capable rhymes (Think Bone Thugs slowed down and understandable). Shoot, what more is there to say, here is the song:
Not bad right? Well, maybe kind if bad now, but in 1993 it was playing on all the tapedecks. So I heard this song and of course I bought the full album (called “Domino”) as soon as I could despite warnings from my friends that it was “crappy”. It wasn’t crappy at all (it wasn’t great either, just pretty good) I don't think I regretted my purchase, but I do know that the other albums listed above got a lot more spins (maybe not the Too $hort album, but Snoop and Eazy...thousands). So here’s another typical Domino song, this time it’s Domino’s in the House from “The Show Soundtrack”:
Not good right? Exactly. See how that happened? The career went from okay to bad.
But who was this guy Domino? Well, he was a crip from Long Beach who worked on the terrible Bloods & Crips project. He gained some critical praise for his skills (apparently) and his constant reminders to practice safe sex. Yep, he rapped about that A LOT. Good! Well, more weird than good, but still good. He had a few other hits like Sweet Potato Pie, Tales from the Hood, Like That and others. His second album “Physical Funk” didn’t make quite the same impact as the first (I bought it and was greatly disappointed), and then there were two super flop albums (“The World of Dominology” and “Remember Me”) then his final album “D-Freaked It” came out in 2001 and was only picked up by his family. Career over.
D Freaked In Indeed
So where is Domino now? Where you at? Where you at, Domino?
You’ll be glad to know that your friend Domino is still making music! Plus he got promoted to OG! He will now be formally addressed as OG Domino on some of his album covers. He’s had a bunch of albums drop in the last few years: “Getto”, “Mr. Melodocious”, and “Domination”. Not to mention a 2008 single called My Turf featuring none other than Snoop Dogg (geez, that guy shows up everywhere). Let's check it out:It's HERE!
Eh? Bad. That camera sound is LOUD. Cheese! Click! And it's just too much laid back melodic rapping and too much Camera Sounds. Click! I couldn't catch anything that he was saying. Click! My Turf. Cheese! Snoop's verse! Well, that was really bad!
There are other songs, but seriously, who's going to listen to them? Nobody.
Well, his latest post on mySpace says that his mood is "good", so at least he has that going for him!
My Turf Score: 0/10
*“It's On (Dr. Dre) 187um Killa” is possibly the best album title ever, call the Smithsonian and have them log it under "American Classic Album Cover Names A-Z"!
This week the Tortoise General is celebrating hip hop legend Jeru the Damaja. Word Up!
The best way to start off Jeru the Damaja Week is to find out what he’s been up to lately. I mean I would consider myself a knowledgeable fan but I haven’t really heard anything from him in a long time. Sure I caught some tracks and verses over the years but I don’t remember anything about them. What gives?
So let’s see what Jeru jas dropped for dolo over his career:
Wow. I spun “The Sun Rises in the East*” and “Wrath of the Math” thousands of times, I think I picked up “Heroz4hire” and listened to it once, and I’ve never heard any of the other albums. So, how is this possible? I'm a big fan. Well, I think it’s important to note that the first two albums were produced by DJ Premier. Then Jeru ventured out on his own and his production stunk. “Heroz4hire” sucked. Apparently Jeru needed Premier. He should have set aside his differences (something about his sister and some hook ups *rumor*). So let's skip way ahead to today, the last Premier produced Jeru album came out over fifteen years ago, Premier is still hittin', but where is Jeru?
"Watch Your Step"
Well, in 2009 he did some drum and bass. Kabuki Watch Your Step. Yikes!
What is to like there? Nothing. That’s really terrible. The funny thing is that when Jeru started spitting I was loving it, Jeru is the best! But man, this sucks. No thanks.
Then he worked on a Guru tribute in 2010 (fine).
"Oddałbyn"
In 2011 he somehow ended up working with a Polish hip hop group called Slums Attack on a song called Oddałbyn. Good Greif.
Well this is just weird. Really weird. I can’t believe this at all. Weeeeiiiiiiiiiirrrrrddddd. The beat is okay I GUESS.The Polish words are WEIRD because I don’t understand them. I’m not saying that Polish hip hop is weird (it is), it’s weird that Jeru is on here. Weird. Well, Jeru’s verse is good but WTF is everyone else talking about (LOL?).The scratching at the end is fantastic. Do more of that Poland. We love you?
Now Jeru claims to be working on a new album where he is calling in heavy hitting production (mainly DJ Premier). I hope it comes out hard and it gets five mics or whatever. That is if he can stop doing photography for five minutes, what??
JeruKabuki Score: 2/10
Jeru Peja Reedukacja Oddałbyn Score: 4/10
* “The Sun Rises in the East” is a hip hop classic and you should have already been heard this. Otherwise, get out my face. Word.
