J. Cole "Power Trip" Fan Review

First a Drake video and now a J. Cole video? How we gone soft? No. We were mocking Canada's "finest" and now we reviewing a song by a guy we genuinely respect: J. Cole (due to his skills) and, plus, I wanted to see his new video. Is that a crime, detective? No.

Actually, even though I like J. Cole, I haven't been spinning his shit much lately because even though he has skills, he still raps A LOT about the LADIES and he has a lot of singing. No thank you. Call me for Grown Simba 3 or whatever.

So this video is new to me, as is this song. But it will surprise you to discover that we're not reviewing the video, we're going to see what the commenters have to say on youtube.  People are dumb and their comments are worse. So let's check out the video and then see what people had to say about it.  

J. Cole!



So the video is that Cole kills a dude. Whatever.com.

I pulled these comments on April 10, 2013 from the official YouTube upload.

wtf happen indeed. Next.

Hahah! Brian, never change. Except maybe get an education. You're an idiot.

Okay. So there is a lot of this:

I guarantee that this video makes sense without seeing "dreams". Cole is obsessed, Cole murders the boyfriend. What's so hard to understand? Does everyone online think that they're smarter than everyone else (like me)? Does everyone think they have the inside scoop? Good grief. Cole makes this connection in the lyrics of the song, stupid. You suck and your ability to figure out that this song ties into another song is silly, and then you tell everyone like you cured cancer? Did you also know that R. Kelly has a shit load of songs that fit together? Did you?

But these countless idiots are no match for the stupidity of the people who actually need to point out that Miguel is not actually dead:

Are you kidding me, whatsupin2012, you freaking jackass?

Really? That is so interesting. A makeup artist! Is her day job at Macy's or a funeral home?

And some good news:

Keep it up, Nyjae!

Yeah. I hate those two groups of people and I'm definitely not in either group at all.

Gary Perkins, do you have anything smart to add?

HAHA! Classic Gary. This video shows police harassment at its worst: a cop pulls over a suspicious vehicle (and checks the trunk (with consent apparently)) and then he lets them go. What a jerk. The funny thing is that the cop was actually right about his suspicions...he had two murderers there, so he was literally doing the job the community pays him to do. I'm no fan of police, but in this case, Muguel's family might want some answers.... Anyway, Gary, you're a genius. We might be able to be friends! Let's check your other comments...

HOLY SHIT! Never mind. I'm a WELL DOCUMENTED Nelly hater, and this is unforgivable. We can never be friends. I hope you end up in St. Louis some day. It's the worst.

IN CONCLUSION: What a lot of fun we had together doing this. To J. Cole, make better music. To J. Cole's fans: you're stupid, 3 hunna.

POWER TRIP SCORE: 3
J. COLE FAN AVERAGE IQ: 3

Feedback: The Loud Pack “why so serious”

IN THAAA HOUSE BRODIES!

HEY YO! A lot of the feedback we get for this blog goes something like this: “Y U  HATIN?” or "u so dum". In fact, that’s like ninety percent of our feedback, the other ten percent is people asking us to review something like they don't know that we're sharks. Trust me, you don't want us to mock review your work. Whatever though. Fine. That’s life. We’re very busy jerks and we do a lot of hating because almost everything we hear is incredibly wack and we got tired of eating gross bologna in like 1999. If we wrote a post about every terrible song we came across we’d be publishing at least ten posts a day. Word up. We'd have to hire like fifty people. NO WAY!

Just to be clear, we TRY to spread love too. If we hear something dope, we’ll usually post it or at least tweet it. But when you dig as deep into the underground as we do, the chances of finding gold are slim. We do discover a lot of crap though.

So today we’ve decided to change things up and focus on the love. But since we can’t really find anything good right now, we’ll just go with the crowd. We’ll take a look at the fan comments on a song by The Loud Pack called why so serious. I don’t know who The Loud Pack is, but I know a lot of people commented on their song. SO LET’S CHECK THAT OUT? WHY NOT? Since there are over eighty comments, we’ll just list the top ten most incomprehensible. Easy:

TOP TEN MOST INCOMPREHENSIBLE COMMENTS ON why so serious BY THE LOUD PACK

10. "Cool brov....:-)))", 2.23, newgarden81

I almost let this one slide since the word "brov" reminds me of the Cocoa Brovaz, but then I saw the ":-)))" and I gave this the number 10 slot. Props to ya stupid comment newgarden81.

9. "Yes breddas u mans r doin it big! good look for da add!!how did u cum across Ma track?", 2.32, $TAYBLAZE

Do we even have to point out the "breddas"? Or the "u mans" or the "cum" or the "Ma track"?  This is just a mess, that's it. We also want to know who wrote this, it looks like one of The Loud Pack, but it's really hard to tell.

8. "ayee this beat go too hard", 0.41, YD_YungDallas

Is too hard a bad thing? Is "ayee" a thing at all?

7. “This sicc checc my page I got some beat u gon like fam” 0.29, H.R. The Producer

A little promotion in a compliment never hurt anyone right? And can anyone ever use too many "c"s? Nopeccc.

6. "YEAHHHHH VERY GOOD ITS THE WAVE MASTER", 2.39, JEAN GRANDETT

Only Big Pun could pull off a "YEEEAH" like that, and the "wave master" reference is totally lost on us. Yeah, we're dumb, but at least we keep our caps lock off most of the time, Jean.

5. "be shaw to comment on ym tings yo....", 3.36, J ROKKA - Record Producer

What tings? Shaw?

4. "shit slap brodie keep dat shit rockin. *Nina Ross", 0.59, NinaRoss

Who is brodie and why is he being shit slapped *Nina Ross.

3. "Oh My Gooood", 2.30, Beats

I see what you were going for here Beats, but the extra "o" turns "god" into "good" and makes for a dumbass donkey skunk comment.

2. “narly beat breds…”, 0.18, J Rokka

J Rokka is back with another entry! I have NO IDEA what a "bred" is, and even though I love this spelling of gnarly, I don't love it enough to understand how anyone could write the comment. SMARTEN UP J ROKKA!

1. "Busy man wickered", 2.08, Broken Axe

At no point in my life has this comment ever entered my mind while listening to anything.

Honorable Mentions:

“reallu good.... good luck!! I Lov it”, 0.25, Enaïd
I know "reallu" is just a simple typo, but what about "Lov"?

"crazy for this one friends, swaggy", 1.29, FUTURE ΔLΔRM

Never say "swaggy" asshole.

"disgusting b eat", 1.59, Grizzly88

That space makes me hungry, but not for anything disgusting.

"yh tunes dope brothers!!", 2.16, T.R.O.Y.uk

Besides the "yh" the word "brothers" spelled properly looks weird. Slang it up jerk.

"bro this track is unreal! very very good the levels need to be messed around with abit more but bro. vox turn down bass louder! :D", 2.06, EMGEE

This one didn't make the top ten because I was able to figure out what EMGEE was saying, it just took a long time. Like a year.

"original ideas. lots of interesting stuff here. I wouldn't like to meet you guys down a dark alley though :-)", 2.25, DamonBreakz

LOLOLOL You're too funny DamonBreakz :--), you're also an idiot. I would hate to meet you in a dark alley because you might try to tell me a joke.

"BOLD!", 1.49, Kristina Owsiak

Who in the hell would call a song (or a part of a song) "bold".  The president? Your doctor? Idiotic comment Kristina get off the internet forever.

----

IN CONCLUSION: Done. And no worse for wear. As always, fans are idiots. And this song isn't that good. I mean it was recommended to us becasue of the beat, and the beat is okay, but holy crow, fix your sound levels and kick at least two guys out of the crew, Loud Pack. But keep at it! We hope you achieve all your dreeeeaaaammmmsss and get all the moneeee$$$$yyy, breds.


Fan Score 0/10