J. Cole "Power Trip" Fan Review

First a Drake video and now a J. Cole video? How we gone soft? No. We were mocking Canada's "finest" and now we reviewing a song by a guy we genuinely respect: J. Cole (due to his skills) and, plus, I wanted to see his new video. Is that a crime, detective? No.

Actually, even though I like J. Cole, I haven't been spinning his shit much lately because even though he has skills, he still raps A LOT about the LADIES and he has a lot of singing. No thank you. Call me for Grown Simba 3 or whatever.

So this video is new to me, as is this song. But it will surprise you to discover that we're not reviewing the video, we're going to see what the commenters have to say on youtube.  People are dumb and their comments are worse. So let's check out the video and then see what people had to say about it.  

J. Cole!



So the video is that Cole kills a dude. Whatever.com.

I pulled these comments on April 10, 2013 from the official YouTube upload.

wtf happen indeed. Next.

Hahah! Brian, never change. Except maybe get an education. You're an idiot.

Okay. So there is a lot of this:

I guarantee that this video makes sense without seeing "dreams". Cole is obsessed, Cole murders the boyfriend. What's so hard to understand? Does everyone online think that they're smarter than everyone else (like me)? Does everyone think they have the inside scoop? Good grief. Cole makes this connection in the lyrics of the song, stupid. You suck and your ability to figure out that this song ties into another song is silly, and then you tell everyone like you cured cancer? Did you also know that R. Kelly has a shit load of songs that fit together? Did you?

But these countless idiots are no match for the stupidity of the people who actually need to point out that Miguel is not actually dead:

Are you kidding me, whatsupin2012, you freaking jackass?

Really? That is so interesting. A makeup artist! Is her day job at Macy's or a funeral home?

And some good news:

Keep it up, Nyjae!

Yeah. I hate those two groups of people and I'm definitely not in either group at all.

Gary Perkins, do you have anything smart to add?

HAHA! Classic Gary. This video shows police harassment at its worst: a cop pulls over a suspicious vehicle (and checks the trunk (with consent apparently)) and then he lets them go. What a jerk. The funny thing is that the cop was actually right about his suspicions...he had two murderers there, so he was literally doing the job the community pays him to do. I'm no fan of police, but in this case, Muguel's family might want some answers.... Anyway, Gary, you're a genius. We might be able to be friends! Let's check your other comments...

HOLY SHIT! Never mind. I'm a WELL DOCUMENTED Nelly hater, and this is unforgivable. We can never be friends. I hope you end up in St. Louis some day. It's the worst.

IN CONCLUSION: What a lot of fun we had together doing this. To J. Cole, make better music. To J. Cole's fans: you're stupid, 3 hunna.

POWER TRIP SCORE: 3
J. COLE FAN AVERAGE IQ: 3

Track Checker: Reflection Eternal "Just Begun"

 

 

 

Oh yes indeed. I like this. I like this. We have everyone's favorite team reunited: Mos Def and Talib Kweli, and they're not boring this time! Then we have J. Cole, who is as good as always. And finally we have Jay Electronica, who is the last guy to mention! What a team. But the real winner is you, and you'll realize it after about five seconds of Hi-Tek's incredible beat sweeps you away on a jazzy river. YO! Hi-Tek! #Salute

 

 

Is that a tumpet? Is it a french horn? I don't know! I like it though. Let's check the WHOSAMPLED.COM archives:

 

 

 

DARN IT. What a bunch of nerds singing. That's the wrong sample and it's very boring. Who on earth would listen to that shit? Hey, Singers Unlimited, your name and your song suck it. I guess we'll never know where that trumpet came from. So let's put our minds at ease and just dig into the lyrics.

Everyone does a good job, no doubt, but Jay Electronica does the best job (besides Hi-Tek). Talib hits hard as usual, and I feel like I'm hearing good lyrics, and I'm not bored, but I'm also not jumping off of my chair and punching my little brother from getting hyped. It's a good verse, but I can take it or leave it, so NORMAL TALIB SHIT. Next is Jay Electronica, who brings his laid back game to match this beat, and it's a hit (baseball).

 

Next we have, uh, J. Cole, who I am a fan of, but I wouldn't be mad if I never heard another J. Cole verse. Anyway, he kills his verse. Besides the dope raps, he also ties his verse into J. Electronica's last line, and he says:

 

"Dog I'm on a higher level, I'm on top of nosebleeds

N----s say they sick, but when they rock they don't sneeze

Like the n---a on the block waving his Glock but won't squeeze

Please..."

 

That's just good. But, it's so sad for Mos Def, who get's killed by J. Cole before he even starts. I'm sure his verse is good, but he shouldn't follow someone who is talented and hungry and has a voice that sounds like he is awake. Mos Def raps, but he also loses this one.

 

Done. Good track. Easy review. That was a good beat right? Yep. I wonder if anyone else has jacked it. GAWD I hope not. You gotta be laid back to tackle that beat. It's so smooth, if you come at it stupid it'll kill you.  AHHA, I'm sure it's a mess out there, let's find out.

What Else can I say? Let's see if anyone else tried to deliver on this tough beat:

 

OH NO! FUCK. Are you kidding me? What kind of accent is that? Scottish + mental illness? "Like a round of golf, you won't be able to put one in the hole". Well, that song was a mess. AMATEURS! This is about as far from true hip hop as possible. AND NOBODY ON THIS SHIT IS MAKING IT, EVEN THOUGH YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG JESS. What a joke. Let me clarify:

• You're not "heading up the ladder"
• You don't "got a girl"
• "Janet" could "Handle It"
• You will never "take control"

Now for the other guy...

• You're not "coming" with anything, especially "the hustle"
• No liquor in anything, you're not "up in" anything.
• You're not "killing" anything for seconds, much less "days"
• No heads are "amazed" at the "style" you "kick"
• Who is feeling this on the street? Nobody.
• There is no crowd cheering anywhere for you.
• No other rappers are being put to shame by this. Only hip hop fans are ashamed by this.
• Whatever this sucks...

NEXT!

 

 Sigh. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

 

JUST BEGUN SCORE 9/10

EVERY OTHER SONG ON THIS PAGE 0/10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Elsewhere Online: J. Cole "Cole World: The Sideline Story" Review

This blog is obviously FULL of bullshit: it's a mess and we know it. That's why when we want to do a serious review of an album we submit our work to better music sites. When I say "serious review" I mean it still has jokes but we are reviewing something we paid for. I spent some of my Tort Team per diem, and I don't even know where that comes from! Actually, we never review full albums on this blog (we focus on mixtapes). We always send our big reviews over to our friends at the great Hip Hop Isn't Dead Blog (the original). They know what they're doing and they're WAY better than us.

Today they were kind enough to publish our thoughts on J. Cole's latest album "Cole World: The Sideline Story", and yeah, we noticed that is a CRAPPY ALBUM TITLE . Go CHECK IT OUT...and check out some of the other reviews over there (they have a ton of them and they're funny). Uh...

CHECK EVERYTHING I TALKED ABOUT OUT!

Elsewhere Online: J. Cole "Friday Night Lights" Full Review

We all have our side jobs right? Some of us mow yards or haul gravel or do orthodontia or something like that for a little extra cash. Whatever. I write for other, better, blogs. Today marks my return to the great Hip Hop Isn't Dead Blog where I have a complete review of J. Cole's latest non-commercial release album "Friday Night Lights". He calls it a mixtape, but it's really a free album. As you may know J. Cole is one of the best doing it right now, so check out the review and also J. Cole's work (it's dope). 

Thanks to Max for publishing my "work".

We Got Something New: J. Cole "Work Out"

We Got Something New: J. Cole "Work Out"

I don't want to do this again.  I don't want to post up another new track by J. Cole yet.  It's too soon.  This guy is throwing out new tracks every week to see if something sticks. As a quick recap from last week: I am a J. Cole fan.  Now for this week: this track is weak.  It takes two of Cole's greatest weaknesses as an MC and runs with them.  The first is that he takes a lot of trips to the "ladies" well.  By that I mean that "ladies" are his go-to topic. He handles it just fine most of the time, but I'M GETTING SICK OF HEARING ABOUT IT J. COLE, I GET IT YOU LIKE LADIES.  The second weakness is his poor judgement when it comes to some artistic choices.  He is usually spot on with his musical decisions and he is way better than most of his peers. Most of the time, even if I don't like his decisions regarding what to put on a track I at least understand and respect them.  However, when Cole fails, he really flops.  I think this single is an excellent example of an artistic decision that comes across as corny: Paula Abdul lines.  Seriously dumbass?  Do you think anyone anywhere wants to hear you doing that? 

Okay ROC Nation staff and J. Cole, ask yourself: is this really a good choice for a first single?  No.  Should this be included on any album other than some sort of b-sides compilation?  No. I mean the beat is okay, maybe a little too smooth for my taste, but I'll tolerate it to hear a dope MC spit, but if that dope MC is doing karaoke of Paula Abdul then I'm out.  You lose this time J. Cole.  Who dat?

You ain't going plat with this mess.  Also, stop trying to go plat and try to continue to make good tracks.

Score: 2/10

We Got Something New: J. Cole "Lost Ones"

We Got Something New: J. Cole "Lost Ones"

J. Cole: Snap Pack Official

I'm officially going HAM on this post.  Okay, I'm not.  I'm just a J. Cole fan posting up his latest track Lost Ones. There is no way this is a single intended to light up the buzz torch or whatever, this is definitely an album cut from that freshman album, it's too deep to be a single but it's Cole's typical mid-album heavy lifting.

Overall not a bad track, brilliant lyricism (as usual), decent beat, but going a bit too heavy to make MTV JAMZ HOT SUMMERZ JAMZ 2011 jam list (they have that, right?).

You - "Oh, but they lyrics ain't that hot."

J.Cole:  "See, I knew that this is how you act. So typical / You say you love me but now you flippin like reciprocals."

-and-

"But she ain't no wife though / Uh-oh, she tellin' him she missed her period like typos / He panickin', 'froze up like a manakin / a life grows inside her / he askin 'is it even mine?'"

Score: 7/10

Trackmasters - J. Cole "Enchanted"

Trackmasters - J. Cole "Enchanted"

My mixtape of the year: 2010

Official Stats:

Artist: J. Cole
Title: "Enchanted"

Uploaded to DatPiff: 11/12/2011
Listens: 775,000

Affiliations: Jay-Z, Omen, Fayetteville

This is going to be really short. First, J. Cole is my favorite new artist, his two major release mixtapes have been amazing.  His first (and often pushed back) real album Cole World has promise and BETTER BE GOOD OR ELSE...SERIOUSLY THIS BETTER BE GOOD.  Anyway, one of my favorite tracks off of Friday Night Lights is called "Enchanted" and features Chicago small-time MC Omen (who holds it down by the pound).  So the reason for this post is this: when I hear this track (which is a lot) I always think of the novelty song "Inner City Pressure" by Flight of the Conchords.  This isn't anything against Mr. Cole, both tracks are good in their own way, it's just odd.  For this post, I'm just putting the two songs side by side so you can be the judge if they have similar music (esp. the synthesizers):

J. Cole "Enchanted":

Flight of the Conchords "Inner City Pressure":

Maybe not, I don't know. Or care.

OH: If you haven't heard many J. Cole tracks, check for him.  And if you haven't seen Flight of the Conchords, you'd better see it (if you like jokes that are funny).

Score: 10/10
Comparison Score: 6/10

We Got Something New: J. Cole "See It To Believe It"

We Got Something New: J. Cole "See It To Believe It"

You may or may not know that I'm a J. Cole fan, who cares if you do or don't?  I don't.  Or maybe I do.  Here is a new track, decent (as usual).  I've heard some of these lines before, but I'm not concerned.

Score: 7/10