U-God's Resume #74, "Take it to the Top"

--Official Stats--
Artists: The Hillside Scramblers
Song: "Take it to the Top"
Producer: Leatha Face
Album: UGODZ-ILLA Presents The Hillside Scramblers
Release Date: March 16, 2004

THE TOP OF WHAT? SOME BULLSHIT? You fucking Scramblers. You gotta take a step up from the very bottom before you think about the top. And trust me, your shit is all the way down in the hole. Just look at the rest of this shit album, you have a very, VERY long way to go to make it anywhere near the top. Plus, "taking" anything "to the top" is old shit. Come fresh. Come clean. It looks like we're on to another Hillside Scramblers track on some non-innovative shit. Fuck.... 

PLUS, I just tracked down this video and I see that it's a long ass song...5 minuts of pain. But wait! Desert Eagle is in it! He's dope. We have hope! Who else is in it? U-God, INF-Black, King Just, and Leatha Face. Who???

WAIT A MINUTE: WTFUCK? IS IT FACE WITH A "C" OR FACE WITH AN "S" LEATHA FASE? SHIT!

"Take it to the Top"



So so noisy. So so rookie. U-God brings some of the wackest rhymes to grace this album. I'm talking rich kid in the den mixtape quality rap. Hospital waste level...

THIS IS AN ACTUAL RAP FROM SOMEONE IN THE WU-TANG CLAN:

"As the music get's louder at the top of the hour it's time to devour cuz i'm hungry for power I rise like towers"

No disrespect to Deborah Harry from Blondie, but she raps better than this, and her raps are about as basic as you can get. It goes on and on:

"i'm a mean machine eat lean cuisine similar to steve mcqueen on silver screen i'm supposed to redeem"
So sad.

The other rappers are a disgrace as well. I was hoping for something big from Desert Eagle, and he blew it on the kick off verse. INF did his normal slack job, so did Leatha Face. The only stand out is King Just, nice job. I guess.

IN CONCLUSION: Is this fucking album almost done?

Track Score: 0/10

U-God’s Score: WORST I'VE HEARD FROM HIM EVER 0/10

Impact on Rep (+,-,=): None (nobody heard this)


Next Week: The nightmare continues....

About this series: “U-God’s Resume" is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.

U-God's Resume #71, "Spit Game"

--Official Stats--
Artists: The Hillside Scramblers
Song: "Spit Game"
Producer: Leatha Face
Album: UGODZ-ILLA Presents The Hillside Scramblers
Release Date: March 16, 2004

This is a military instillation you disgusting little puke. I am the general, and I expect to be treated with respect. HAHAH! Joking! Nobody respects anything on this crappy blog. Especially when some coattail riding slackers phone in a crappy hip hop album with a cheap looking cover and end a word with "Z-ILLA" (does the hypen have anything to do with copyright infringement? DOES IT? Becasue why not just say 'U-Godzilla presents'? Also, since U-God's name is hyphenated to begin with, wouldn't the actual title be U-GODZ-ILLA? Stu-pi-d)

Fuck. This song has U-Godz-illa, INF-Blackz-illa, Leatha-Facez-illa, and Autumn-Ruez-illa. How can it bad with so many smart and talented people working on it?



INF-BLACK

 Let us partake:


"Spit Game"



DAMN IT! SERIOUSLY? I'm 20 seconds in and it's wack as hell. Wacker than hell. What is wacker than hell? That's a philosophical question. Could U-God create a stone that was too heavy for him to lift? Think about it.

Whatever...wholly shit:

"Spit game...spit game...game...game..."

With a hook that hot how could anyone not spit game? Plus a beat from the Fisher Price Let's Make Music Keyboard (ages infant - 2 years)...

In all seriousness, the melody sounds almost the same as the melody in "Milk the Cow" by Cappadonna, but WAY WAY WAY more garbage.

Crap. Nobody has even rapped yet and I hate this song. The only one who could save this beat with an ill verse is Big Boi, but I'm sure he's too busy RAPPING LIKE A BOSS to appear on this rookie shit.

Ah, U-God is up first. And he sounds okay. Not bad at all. What? Well, he flows right on the beat. I think he mentions that he is "capsized in the game"...which means he is overturned and immobile. That's about right. He also says he'll "bang you out", so watch out for that. Whoever follows this is going to have a tough job, not only are they following a decent verse from the only recognizible name, they are also rapping on a gutter clog beat.

After another pitiful chorus we have someone else rapping! And it's a pretty normal verse. Nothing Special at all!

Third up is, uh, someone else! Who "talks" their way "out of beef" so that they have time to "get the heat". That's lame-o. You should be packin' all day, sucka. Fuck your time-buying tactics, I stay ready. Plus, he says that he doesn't care that I don't like him, because I "don't excite [him]". Fuck exciting you. That's silly shit. What? Are you going to "bang" me now? Like how you threaten to "bang" some "little lames"? HAHAH! Go ahead and "bang" them. It sounds like you want to do something else that doesn't involve guns. Hhaha. Next!

We end with a singing verse and it's worse than you could imagine!

  IN CONCLUSION: WEAK AND EMBARASSING. If you were rolling with your "trues" and you turned on this shit, you'd probably get "banged".

Track Score: 0/10

U-God’s Score: 5/10

Impact on Rep (+,-,=): None (nobody heard this)


Next Week: Who cares? More Scramblers trash.

About this series: “U-God’s Resume" is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.

U-God's Resume #68, "Tell Me"

--Official Stats--
Artists: The Hillside Scramblers
Song: "Tell Me"
Producer: Leatha Face
Album: UGODZ-ILLA Presents The Hillside Scramblers
Release Date: March 16, 2004

Getcha hardhats kid. This a work site, sledgehammers swingin', tryin' to build things right. Things right, things right. Muthafucka get it right. We gotta tear shit down before we can build it back, aight?

Let's swing that wrecking ball...

"Tell Me"



That one wasn't so bad! At first I thought they were going for some ID4 shit. Aliens screwing up the soundwaves or something. But then I realized that it was intentional and that Leatha Face isn't a very good producer.

Lucky for him (and us) he had the thought to throw in a dope beat and then to have Desert Eagle jump off and murder this shit. Leatha Face drops a decent verse as well (except for when he says he could "kiss the man who invented the glock" - that's weird). And our friend from the last track comes in with a decent verse as well. He doesn't sound like a weak minded Havoc at all this time. Nice job INF! Nice job everyone. And no U-God! It's all to the good.


IN CONCLUSION: GOOD SHIT? On a Hillside Scramblers album? Yes.

Track Score: 9/10

U-God’s Score: 0/10

Impact on Rep (+,-,=): None (nobody heard this)


Next Week: The Scram Team get to work on "Chippin' and Chop it". Will it be as good as this? I hope soooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

About this series: “U-God’s Resume" is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.

U-God's Resume #67, "Stick Up"

--Official Stats--
Artists: The Hillside Scramblers
Song: "Stick Up"
Producer: Leatha Face
Album: UGODZ-ILLA Presents The Hillside Scramblers
Release Date: March 16, 2004

I think this might be a INF Black solo! U-God isn't credited on this track, so maybe he isn't on here, but he has a way of just showing up...Fingers crossed (not that U shows up, but that this is a very short track).

Let's get the important shit out of the way. What does the "INF" in INF Black's name stand for? There's no telling. The internet is oddly silent on the matter. Maybe it's a conspiracy, or maybe we have reached so far into the depths of the Wu that the sun has never even shined here. We're so deep in the Wu that we have come full circle. The Wu is so large that maybe you are a member of the Clan and didn't even realize it. Mayby you are INF Black. Did you ever think of that? Did you, INF? I'm sure it's the case. You rapped this fucking song (maybe). You didn't bother to explaing what the "INF" stands for on your myspace account. You son of a bitch. You filthy son of a bitch. 

Let's see how you did on your track.

"Stick Up"



Lousy.com, right? Put ya hands up. It's a stick up, ya heard? I have not heard. Nor would I like to. That chorus is waaaack.

Put before we get to the INF discussion, let's discuss Leatha Face. WTF is this beat? Halloween shit? It's just too much. I would say dial it back, but I don't think that would help. So maybe, just change up the whole beat. Throw the whole thing away and start from scratch. THEN fix the vocals, they sound like shit. This is like amateur night, only worse. There is no way anyone would want to hear this song more than once. Ever.

NOW for INF BLACK.

First of all, the INF isn't initials, it's a word pronounced like, uh, "in" + "f", which is just an awkward street name.

"Yo! INF Sup?"
"It's not I.N.F. it's Inf"
"The fuck INF stand for, son"
"I sayin'. It doesn't stand for anything, it's not an acronym, kid."
"Word?"

Now for the rhymes.  I don't mean any disrespect, but the guy sounds like Havoc (from Mobb Deep) if Havoc was reading from his fourth grade rhyme book. I mean, there is a bunch of basic rhymes on here. And by that, I mean it's all pretty simple.

IN CONCLUSION:
INF may had screwed this track up, but this newer track is MUCH BETTER. We should act like we never heard "Stick Up" and remember INF for this shit "I Ain't Done Yet":

 
"I aint Done yet" by Inf bLack


That's some good noise. U fucked up "Stuck Up" by proxy, and Leatha Face fucked it up directly.

 

Track Score: 3/10
I AIN'T DONE YET SCORE 7/10

U-God’s Score: 0/10

Impact on Rep (+,-,=): None (nobody heard this)


Next Week: Scramblers venture off without U-God again and deliver "Tell Me". Will it be good? Probably not, but who knows? Stranger things have happened.

About this series: “U-God’s Resume" is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.

This Might be INF Black (the guy saying "Though So")