U-God's Resume #22: "Diesel"

--Official Stats--
Artist: Wu-Tang Clan
Song: "Diesel"
Album: Soul In The Hole: Original Music From And Inspired By The Motion Picture
Release Date: July 29, 1997

I know what you're thinking besides "what's the point of this" and "why ru wasting you life with this"...you're thinking "you're taking this too seriously." You know what? We're not taking this seriously at all. If we were, this whole blog would be about how hip hop was hit or miss even in its glory days and now it's an absolute disaster. I'll be serious, if you happen to catch a rap song on the radio today it's going to be awful unless you're tuned into some weird college station or some satellite trash, and even then you can bet your ass that besides yourself, the only other person listening is the disc jockey. Nobody listens to good music.


"But what about the internet?" you say, "you're always talking about all the good hip hop you find there." Yeah that's true, but do you know how many people are listening to it? None. Zero. If I put up a post about the dopest hip hop song out right now it will get zero hits. If I just put up a picture of Rick Ross it'll get a thousand hits a day. High interest. That's the truth. People would rather look at a fucking picture of Rick Ross than to even be introduced to one track that's actually decent. That's you. You do that. Yeah there is a ton of good hip hop coming out all the time but you'll never hear it because you're too busy looking for fucking pictures of the Ying Yang Twin's gross tattoos. YOU'RE THE WORST.


So what does that have to do with the song Diesel by the Wu-Tang Clan? I DON'T KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU ASK YOUR FRIEND AKON? That's what you care about. ALL OF YOU. You know what? Just leave the blog. Do it. I don't want to review this for you. I'll even make it super easy for you:

CLICK HERE FOR SOMETHING YOU'LL LOVE AND DON'T COME BACK 

Well I hope my anger doesn't spill over into this review (spoiler alert: it will). So this song is from the pandering money-grab soundtrack to the movie "Soul in the Hole". The cover points out that some of the songs were just "inspired" by the movie. I'm sure that the Cocoa Brovaz went out and saw "Soul in the Hole" and were so inspired that they rushed home to make "Won on  Won" (which was a good song actually). I bet their inspiration had something to do with dinero. Fuck whoever put this soundtrack together. Cross marketing. I can just hear some rich fat-cat executive saying "Hey! That Soul to the Hole movie is gonna flop since it's a piece of junk so let's get a bunch of rappers on the soundtrack, those heathen consumer morons will buy the CD to hear their favorite rapper then they'll see the movie. They're dumb! People who like basketball like rap as well. We'll all be richer!"


All that aside, I did buy this soundtrack AND I seem to remember liking it. I had a giant CD case and for some reason this CD was in the front and I got a good look at the Basketball themed CD all the time (even though I didn't listen to it that much). I also remember this song as being good (probably thanks to its inclusion on some Killa Bee's album or Wu greatest hits album or mixtape or whatever). WHO CARES. Let's hear the track...


"Diesel"



There is nothing better than starting a song with ODB talking nonsense, actually it's not nonsense. It's ODB literally asking for help: "They already did 2Pac in...Biggie Smalls..someone help me. Someone help me please!" That's heavy. ODB's verse is understated but perfect. Rae is next and the odd sound leaves on the vocals are what makes this track work so well. Sure the beat is okay (not great) and the lyrics are banging throughout, but the sound levels kind of level the playing field for the featured MCs and put the focus on the lyrics themselves rather than the personalities involved. It's almost like the RZA is trying to pull people into a trance. It's great. Anyway, after Rae, ODB gets raw again for a few lines, then Meth comes in (grimy Tical Meth, not polished Meth). ODB is back just to usher in the RZA and holy shit, can it get any better than that? Meth to ODB to RZA over a raw beat. No.


So then U-God comes in with this:

Thirty-six anger, dirty language is the stranger
The mangler, the honor roll singer righteous finger
When we shine-a, we always find a never minor major
Hard to spot we dangerous with our behavior
Then it's back to the RZA for a few lines, then back to U for this:

I aim slang I maintain, through the main vein
The answer came clever, when we do greatness through trial and error
Mile of terror motormouth, let the odor out
Fumin greater, the temper in my spine huminator
The super grass childish blast sleepy eye stash
The hashish masterpiece, Osirus is the virus
This split second splash, severe drop is near pop
There's fallin teardrops, now is it worth your career?

You know what, I think this was an ODB song, maybe for a future (and unmade) ODB album. Let's look at the evidence: (1) ODB is heavily featured (2) Raekwon, Method Man and U-God each mention him specifically (3) it sounds like an album track (not a soundtrack song). That's it. I rest my case.

So I feel like I've had nothing but good things to say about this song specifically. The truth is that it's not that good. I mean it's solid but I think it's missing some ingredient. Energy maybe. I don't know, it's nothing that I want to repeat anytime soon. Despite ODB really knocking it out of the park. As for Baby U, I think he (once again) did the worst of all involved. You can take that to the bank. Word 'em up.

Track Score: 6/10

U-God’s Score: 3/10

Impact on Rep (+,-,=): None

Next Week: U-God helps Cappadonna out with his debut album on the track  "Supa Ninjaz"

About this series: U-God’s Resume" is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.

U-God's Resume #10, "Semi-Automatic: Full Rap Metal Jacket"

 

 --Official Stats--
Artist: Inspectah Deck, U-God, and Streetlife
Song: "Semi-Automatic: Full Rap Metal Jacket"
Album: High School High: The Soundtrack
Release Date: September 10, 1996

Yet another soundtrack! Soundtracks were a big deal back in the 90's I guess, plus the Wu was really representing hard on them (which cost me a lot of money). But I think that I can say that I was happy with my purchase of the "High School High" soundtrack even though it was filled with (bad) R&B and lousy hip hop. It did have Wu-Wear on it (which I still spin - what can I say Meth's chorus is disgusting), the beat on I Just Can't is interesting in a good way, Sadat X and The Roots also had good cuts. But I must say that the De La Soul song was definitely the highlight on this movie soundtrack. That is, De La Soul and Semi-Automatic: Full Rap Metal Jacket. Both are great tracks.

"Semi-Automatic: Full Rap Metal Jacket"

I could review this song without even spinning it I've heard so many times. I really like it. The beat is just insane. I mean who decided to put whales in there? Plus the keyboards sound broken or something. It's a raw sound that really works well. Our boy U-God handles the chorus and takes the first verse. Inspectah Deck takes the second verse (very well) and someone named "Street" has the last verse (I very strongly suspect that it's Streetlife because he mentions P.L.O. a bunch of times and more importantly I recognize his voice).

Here's Baby U's chorus:

You can't hack the tactics
Of a semi-automatic full rap fanatic
You can't hack the tactics
Of a semi-automatic full rap fanatic

It works! It's not great but U-God sells it and his voice helps. I've often wondered if on a collobration like this if U-God came up with the chorus by himself or if all the contributors worked together and hammered it out. Who knows?

Okay, he also has the lead verse and you'll have to allow me to compare it to his contribution on Cappadonna's If It's Alright With You because its basically the same set up: sentence fragments haphazardly pieced together. But this time it works. What? I like this verse. Is it because I've heard it so many times, or is it actually better somehow? I don't know. 

I make mean lean when I pump my spunk
and hands of chump, of machine gun funk
I bliss, like the fist, of the mantis
Those who oppose get dropped and hit the canvas
With rigormor', I hit you in the core and
pop your legs well in the figure four
You can't stop the force when the blood is coursin
extortion, I'm comin like the headless horseman
Enforcin, tortureous slang from a fortune
Swordsman, throw your rap corpse in coffins
Don't pop glocks at me then cop a plea
A hundred thousand leagues beneath the sea
Deep depths makes rappers salted
Weak rappers asses I cracks my foot, off in
Lay down them lines with them hard hits
And I'm harmin, bombin, with heavy bombardments
Pushin, poetry, like weed by the pounds
Underground railroad RZA track lay it down
I'm hard as pavement, you gaze from amazement
Knock you in the head you wonder where the days went
It's golden bangles, microphone getting strangled
Five-star general, scars you want to angle
Bizarre thriller, war scar for a killer
Sheisty mic device got my hand-piece throbbin
Slice mics precise on down to ice carvings

What I do know is that Deck absolutely owns this song, his verse is just mean (and the main reason I've heard the track so many times). I mean, he set's it off with "I set the mic in flames, bomb like fighter planes...". Wow. Streetlife has some good lines too: "I strike back like the Jedi, from NY", and manages to beat U-God as well. U-God is last again!

Track Score: 9/10

U-God’s Score: 6/10

Impact on Rep (+,-,=): Improves

Next Week: U-God appears on Winter Warz from Ghostface Killah's "Ironman" but we've already heard that, so we skip to his other song on that album: Black Jesus.

  

Hard as pavement, you gaze from amazement



About this series: “U-God’s Resume" is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.





U-God's Resume #4, SWV: "Anything (Old Skool Radio Version)"

U-God’s Resume #4: SWV "Anything (Old Skool Radio Version)"

--Official Stats--
Artist: SWV featuring The Wu-Tang Clan
Song: "Anything (Old Skool Radio Version)"
Album: "SWV The Remixes"
Release Date: May 10, 1994

Well, in the examination of U-God’s resume we’ve finally moved beyond the debut release of the Wu-Tang Clan and will now get into the many side projects and solo albums from U’s fellow clansman. Why are we doing this? Because U-God has a pretty lousy reputation and I want to find out if it’s justified (because I like him, and it's not justified).

So where did Baby U go from the classic “Enter the Wu-Tang?” album? To SWV, of course.

Yep. SWV. An R&B act also known as “Sisters with Voices” somehow made a track featuring “The Wu-Tang Clan” which, of course, only meant Ol’ Dirty, Method Man, and U-God.  For the record, SWV was massively popular with songs that everybody loved. So why not pair them up with the next big hip hop group? The soundtrack to “Above the Rim” was the perfect opportunity. Well, not on the soundtrack exactly, but a SWV remix album for a song from the soundtrack. You know how record companies are: lots of songs, remixes, cross promotion, goldmines, not making things people want, and money in the bank. SWV's Anything was on the soundtrack, but the version with the Clan came out a few months later on the SWV "Remixes" album.

Well, to my knowledge, I’ve never heard this song before.  So let’s check it out…

“Anything (Old Skool Radio Version)"

Well, this is terrible.  If I were a fan of the Wu-Tang Clan (I am) and I saw them on here (I did) and then I listened to this (I did), I would be very disappointed (I was). I’ve never been a fan of modern R&B, and this sounds especially empty. This is worse R&B than normal. So, I hate most of track automatically.

"But what about U-God? How did he do?" - U-God fans.

Oh yeah, well once again he’s performing with the Clan’s two biggest stars of the time: Ol’ Dirty and Method Man, much like his appearance on Protect Ya Neck (where he was between them), only this time his four lines are sandwiched inside of Method Man’s verse. But somehow, this time, Meth’s closing lines are reused segments from his main verse, it's weird, but I guess someone didn’t want U-God delivering the last line on the track. And that's strange because U-God delivers a pretty good verse considering the (poor) quality of the track and the generic verses delivered by both ODB and Meth. I’d be willing to bet that our favorite MCs were somewhat limited in what they could deliver here, so they might have played it safe. In fact, I bet they never even met SWV for this recording. Who knows? Looking back from almost twenty years later (!)  I would say U-God comes out on top in this track. The champ! Good for him, he earned it and whatever. I feel like I’ve heard everything that ODB and Meth spit on here on a bunch of on other tracks. Poor Meth, he sounds like he’s selling his soul when he says the “S-S-double-double-U to the V-V-V-V” line. On the flip, U’s lines sound raw and fresh.  Nice job, U-God, even if your lines don’t make sense and your contribution is very short…

Now, what I hear him say is different from what the internet says he says, get it? Here are both versions of the lyrics.

Internet Generally Accepted Lyrics:

Another chapter from the Wu-Tang group
Take a look or a peak, killer bees never sleep
Nonstop, put you on the choppin block
Unorthodox, attitude to melting pot

Tortoise General Approved Lyrics:

Another chapter from the Wu-Tang book
Take a look or a peek, killer bees never sleep
Nonstop, put you on the choppin’ block
Unorthodox, attitude to melt the pot

Whatever. Oh, also, how weird is it when Ol' Dirty comes in on a R&B track? It gets me every time: a raw MC (that probably doesn't appeal to many women) comes in over a smooth beat and beautiful singing with bellowing (basically) and slurred rhymes. ODB: YOU'RE THE BEST. Reverse verse.

Song Score: 2/10

U-God Score: 7/10

Impact on Rep (+, -, =): None (nobody heard this)

Next time: We skip ahead over a year to U-God’s verse on “Knuckleheads” from Raekwon’s “Only Built 4 Cuban Linx…”.  Party on, Rae. Party on, Tort.

Caught in the headlights.

About this series: “U-God’s Resume" is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.