Welcome to ongoing series where we review just the cover art of mixtapes. We don't listen to the album at all! We just like to point out that a lot of the album covers are hilariously bad.
So today we'll check out some mixtape covers with Tort Team Official Ruff G., let's go.
Ruff G: Yo, yo, yo, POP!
Dag Dilignet: Yo, Yo!
RG: Yo! I got a good idea for a post.
DD: Yo, word?
RG: Check this out: We do a "Check Out My Cover" post, but we feature a good cover instead of a bad one.
DD: What?
RG: We're trying to be more positive, right? Cut back on the hate mail and death threats? Let's just find a good amateur mixtape cover, and give respect. Like an album with less than 200 listens.
DD: Not going to happen.
RG: ??
RG: What's not going to happen? The post? OR the blog respecting something?
DD: You're not going to find a good mixtape cover.
DD: Listen pal, I'm open to the idea, but I don't think that you'll find even one good cover. Not one.
RG: You're kidding right?
DD: No. I don't joke and I don't kid (jk ;P).
DD: For realz: All of these small time cats either use a shit uncreative photograph or some photoshopped garbage.
DD: OR they bite the shit out of a good cover.
RG: There are like a million small time mixtapes...you think that they are ALL BAD? ALL OF THEM?
DD: Yes. Find a good one.
RG: Hold on.......
RG: Here you go, I found it in like twenty seconds.
DD: You're joking right?
RG: Not at all. What's wrong with it?
DD: What's wrong with it!? What's good about it? Nothing. It's just normal.
RG: Yo! That's a good cover. It looks mad professional, you could see that shit at Target's music department and it would fit right in.
RG: It makes me want to check out the music.
DD: I agree that it is like a million times better than most mixtape covers, but it is also about a million times as generic as anything else - whatever that means.
RG: YO! It's got the Top Gun font. TOP GUN SON. Plus it's the "Street Album". Street albums are the best kind of albums.
DD: Agree. But dude looks like he's leaning on the railing of a boat. Disney Cruise. He's the Top Gun of the Donald Duck slide...and he's getting tired of you not enjoying the slide.
RG: Everything's a joke all the time with you. I think this is a great mixtape cover.
DD: Competent, maybe. Not great. It is very good. Do you have any more "good" ones?
RG: I DO
DD: Really? Sk8 or Die 2010.
RG: Your comment is the worst. This cover is nice.
DD: Your mom is nice.
DD: THE SAME DUDE IS DUPLICATED TWO OR THREE TIMES. Each time the hat is pointed in a new direction. It spins like the hands of a clock.
RG: The guy without the hat might not be the same guy.
DD: Oh, WORD? Plus this is bites iron (bites very hard).
RG: What's it biting?
DD: I don't know...a lot of things.
RG: Show me.
DD: Yo. It's just the style right now. EVERYONE'S DOING IT. SAME SHIT DIFFERENT MIXTAPE COVER. I'll get back to you. Anything else?
RG: ...
DD: What the hell?
RG: I like it.
DD: I do not.
RG: You don't like anything.
DD: True, but I especially don't like this. It's so in-your-face.
RG: That might be the point.
DD: This is some sort of new jack social bullshit. Fake-up to the make-up.
RG: You're an idiot.
DD: First of all. It's not while I was sleeping, there is clearly a homeless guy sleeping. Not me. I'm not even tired.
DD: Or more like a regular guy that is trying to look homless. It should be called "While this normal guy was acting like he was homeless and sleeping"...
DD: Plus, what happened while this guy was sleeping? He got homeless? Someone left him newspapers.
DD: It would be funny for Sense Wondah to pay this actor to act like he was homeless and sleeping, and then the actor was really tired and actually fell asleep (because the photo shoot was taking so long). And then he woke up and was actually homeless.
RG: Yeh. Hilarious.
DD: Or if something insignificant happened. "Hey, actor, while you were sleeping I found a fiver!"
DD: OH! SHIT: WHILE I WAS SLEEPING SOMEONE DREW AN UNMENTIONABLE PART OF THE MALE ANATOMY ON MY FACE. <--THAT'S A COMMON ONE! College!
RG: Your mom goes to college.
RG: Maybe this means that while you were sleeping on the social problems of others, your situation got worse.
RG: You didn't care about other people and now you're screwed. You're homeless morally.
DD: Deep.
RG: I know. Maybe we should listen to the album and see if it shed some light on our questions.
DD: That is not going to happen ever. I'd rather have the anatomy drawn on my face.
RG: Of course you would.
RG: Okay hotshit. You find a mixtape cover that you like.
DD: No. This is your idea.
RG: Just find one that is passable. Remember, we're trying to be a positive force in hip hop and you've just shit on a ton of young guns.
DD: Fine...hold on.
DD: I like this one
RG: Me too.
DD: It's not the best ever, but at least it doesn't make me sick.
RG: Doesn't it remind you of Blueprint 3?
DD: I hate it now.
RG: No you don't.DD: I like it better than the Blueprint 3 cover. But I see now that it is still biting pretty hard.
RG: You will never win at anything with your bad attitude.DD: At least I won't go around biting other people's work.
RG: Really? What about this shit?
DD: Yo. When I made that banner I didn't think of The Documentary at all.
RG: Looks pretty similar to me. White Background. Fancy Rims. Biting.
DD: I used the Dayton as a sign of respect to the West Coast, nothing more. If anything, my art is respecting The Game and what he stands for.
RG: Biter.
DD: No biting Incorporated.
RG: Whatever, maybe you should give people some leeway since that's what you expect.
DD: No chance.
RG: Maybe that green Fresco cover up there was made to show respect to Jay-Z. Or maybe it was a coincidence, like your biting.
DD: This is the worst idea for a post. We're done here.
IN CONCLUSION: EVERYBODY BITES EVERYTHING.
Here are links to all the mixtapes we looked at today:
Terminal A "Street Album"
Strike One
Sense Wondah "While You Were Sleeping"
Fresco "The Influence"
CONVERSATION SCORE 0/10
No comments:
Post a Comment