Monday, August 27, 2012

CSI:2005 - The Cam'ron Carjacking Case

The Tortoise General reporting for duty. The case? Did Cam'ron get carjacked in Washington D.C. in 2005, or not, cuz.

Since this is a cold case let's restate the facts.

On October 23rd, 2005, Harlem rapper Cam'ron was visiting a club called H2O in Washington D.C., and while he was at a traffic light, he may or may not have had his Lamborghini carjacked.

According to Cam,

"So many [fans] been hopping out on me all weekend, I seen [the assailant] in my peripheral, but I didn't pay too much attention to it," he said about the incident as it first unfolded. "When he hopped out [of his vehicle], I seen him waving something. I wasn't sure if it was a CD or whatever. Then I looked when he came in front of my car and seen it was a gun. I thought he was an undercover [cop]. I'm like, 'Money is waving a gun in front of a lot of people here.' I'm looking like, 'What this dude is bugging for?' He's pulling on my car door like, 'Get out.' I'm like, 'I'm not getting out, you bugging.' Then he shot through the car. That's when I stepped on the gas."

Cam'ron was shot through both arms (which sounds like a nightmare), but he still did not give up his car. He drove to a hospital with bullet holes in his arms and was joined there by his fellow Diplomats Juelz Santana and Jim Jones, where they (literally) hit on the nurses (just like a Dip Set video)!

Cam'ron later said "Nobody's going to take a quarter-million-dollar car from me, let alone a five-cent piece of chewing gum"

Done. So he was clearly not carjacked because, duh, they didn't get his car. Case closed.

Or is it?

Apparently a policeman witnessed the crime. Oh really? Is that why the "carjacker" was never caught. Anyway let's see what that guy said:

"he saw two assailants in a Ford Expedition pull up to Cam, and that one got out and shot at him as he sat in his blue Lamborghini, then also fired at a pink Range Rover some of his crew rode in behind him. The cars were part of Cam's convoy, which rolled through the D.C. streets after leaving a nightclub."

So there you go. Thanks for witnessing a serious crime and failing to intervene or get information that would lead to arrest. Perfect.

If you take those two statements together and especially focus on this line, from Cam'ron himself:

 He's pulling on my car door like, 'Get out.'

Then it's safe to say that it was a failed carjacking. Case closed. But wait! Here is something else Cam'ron said:

"I don't think anybody would do a carjacking that randomly in front of that many people. . . For Howard [University's] homecoming, a bunch of people is outside."

Uh. Fine so Cam's theory is that it was not a carjacking because of all the people, because who would do that kind of crime in front of "that many" people. Instead it was a assault with a deadly weapon in front of a ton of people. Perfect theory. I see why you compare yourself to Malcolm X and Dr. Martin Luther King. You're a genius! Let's check the quote from Cam:

"I always move cautiously, like somebody is after me, anyway. Not saying somebody is after me, but you gotta realize you in a position of power. It's like the modern day. ... It's like Malcolm X and Martin Luther King. I hate to use them as examples, but they both got murdered and they both were great leaders. Right now [rappers are] in a position where people like [Minister Louis] Farrakhan and Dr. Ben [Chavis] call us up to speak to the youth. So when you a great leader in a position of power and about to go to a higher step, which I'm about to do, you always keep an eye open. I never put anything past anybody. I don't know if it was a hit, I don't know if it was a carjacking."

There you go. Cam'ron is a "great leader" like Malcolm X and Martin Luther King. Hey, Malcolm X, what means the world to you? Right. Dip set.

Oh, one other thing: some people have said that this whole thing was a publicity stunt to help Cam's rep and sell more records. No it wasn't assholes. Nobody wants to get shot twice in one arm and once in the other. That's horrifying. Especially millionares don't choose to get shot in the arms, morons.

IN CONCLUSION: Washington DC is a terrible place, seriously, don't ever go there. If you want to see monuments go somewhere safe. Cam'ron experienced something terrible, and our sympathies go to him and his family: Killa Cam - I sincerely wish that you didn't have to go through any of that pain, and I'm glad you've had some rap success since this incident. It is pretty awesome that you drove yourself to the hospital with bullet wounds in your arms. #salute. In the end though, I think it's safe to say that this was a carjacking. You were in a very expensive car, dude.

Cam'ron Score 0/10

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