Good morning readers. You might think this is a normal Thursday Tortoise General update, but, in fact, it is abnormal. Why? Well, first, it's a Monday, and second, we're going in on fucking science nerds who think they can rap (again). In hindsight, this is an exactly normal post because I hate rap that tries to teach and I hate wack shit and I write about it a lot.
This is from Coma Niddy university. And HOLY SHIT #1 that's not a college (I looked it up) and #2 it's an idiot who thinks he's a university. Would you shitty college rappers just back off with your rapping. Listen, we get it, you pay a lot of money for a degree and you think that the degree means that your smarter and better than everyone else. Well your not.
COLLEGE GRADUATES ARE PIGS AND ALSO GET A LIFE
You suck at rap. You suck at life. You don't have the right to teach me shit. I don't give a fat fuck regarding whatever the fuck this video is about. I hate the topic. FUCK U.
OH. Thank heaven you enlightened me about this very important concept that I will apply to my everyday life! Just joking. I hate it. Here is a fake conversation that uses the lyrics to this sorry song:
Tortoise General: Hi Coma, how are you today?
Coma Niddy: Great!
TG: I see we're meeting in a library, that fantastic. When I was younger I did lines off of the copier.
CN: HAHAH! You cray.
TG: When I was ten minutes younger...I just finished actually. Do I seem fucked up to you?
CN: . . .
TG: Whatever. I hate your fucking pretentious song. Why do you think people want to learn useless shit?
CN: Dude, haven't you ever wondered what e=mc^2 really means?
TG: No. I have to work a double shift at the blog mill to feed my children. Einstein doesn't pay my billz.
CN: Come on. Science is fascinating. Just think about that number I mentioned: 90,000,000,000,000,000. It's amazing.
TG: Fuuccck. It's just bullshit. It doesn't mean anything. That number is how bullshit it is.
CN: It's so confusing, but it's so beautiful. You know, scientists have been making antimatter for years. That's just amazing.
TG: You know what's amazing? My friend's sister was killed by her alcoholic boyfriend.
CN: That's not amazing. It's terrible, and incredibly sad, and irrelevant.
TG: No, the amazing part is that he was on parole. He had been in prision for a previous assult that had to do with his drinking. He had a history of that shit. She wanted to move out but she couldn't get a job that paid enough and she was too embarassed to ask for help. All you fuckers go on and on about antimatter and all that science trash and meanwhile people like her are fucked by the broken system you a-holes created with all your social science. My grandmother boiled saltines in tap water and called it soup because she couldn't afford to buy food. Fuck you and fuck your electrons.
CN: I'm sorry to hear that. Well, I've got other things to do. Thank you for watching my rap video.
TG: Where's that copier?
IN CONCLUSION: Eat glass.
ANTIMATTER RAP SCORE 0/10