U-God's Resume #72, "Ghetto Gutter"

--Official Stats--
Artists: The Hillside Scramblers
Song: "Ghetto Gutter"
Producer: Leatha Face
Album: UGODZ-ILLA Presents The Hillside Scramblers
Release Date: March 16, 2004

Crap. I'll be honest with you, the ratings around here are slipping. Like way down. Will we get cancled? Yipes! I hope not. I have a Pepsi addiction. When we used to write U-God reviews for songs like "Triumph" and "Winter Warz" we would get like a hundred hits! Each! Now, with this Hillside Scramblers series, we're lucky if we get 1 hit. YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT EVEN ON THIS PAGE. That's the recession for you. 

Look a lot of jobs are on the line, so we need to SPICE IT UP! Bring in the numbers. How do we do that? Like this, I guess:

Nicki Minaj- Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded IS #1 fan favorite

    



Now the search engines will find us!

FUCK. I STILL HAVE TO REVIEW THIS U-GOD SHIT.

Actually, I'm kind of happy because I see that this song is a U-God solo track featuring Autumn Rue, who I have been known to accidently call Autumn Rae because I have no idea who she is. WHO IS AUTUMN RUE (besides being the most talented one in the group). Well, the internet doesn't seem to know. Shit....let's see if this song reveals anything


"Ghetto Gutter"





What kind of beat is that? More rookie shit. Shitty sounding rookie shit. Shitty shit rookie shit. Hand clap.

U-God steps into the track like the Kool-Aid man enters a room...if the wall was reinforced and didn't break. Flat.

The chorus is fricking lame (and by that I mean its fucking dumb).

"I tear the roof right off this mothaaaaaa...
I give 'em ghetto gutter.
That venom? I put it on ya.
I give 'em ghetto gutter."

U's flow is good...and his something sounds something. Not that great. No memorable lines. No rewinds. Just blah blah blah ghetto gutter blah blah blow haze in they face.  Bailing out like skates.

In the last verse U mentions that he has a "project chicken" who both strips and handles his weight. Good business choice. I'm glad you found a farm animal that you can trust with your diet. Hand clap.

IN CONCLUSION: Autumn Rae, your contribution to this song was the best part of it and all you said was "ghetto gutter" four or five times. You should drop these slackers and find a real job...like working at Ikea (but upstairs, not in the warehouse).

Track Score: 0/10
U-God’s Score: 1/10

Impact on Rep (+,-,=): None (nobody heard this)


Next Week: THE HILLSIDE SCRAMBLERS NEVER END.

About this series: “U-God’s Resume" is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.

The best selling scramblers.

U-God's Resume #71, "Spit Game"

--Official Stats--
Artists: The Hillside Scramblers
Song: "Spit Game"
Producer: Leatha Face
Album: UGODZ-ILLA Presents The Hillside Scramblers
Release Date: March 16, 2004

This is a military instillation you disgusting little puke. I am the general, and I expect to be treated with respect. HAHAH! Joking! Nobody respects anything on this crappy blog. Especially when some coattail riding slackers phone in a crappy hip hop album with a cheap looking cover and end a word with "Z-ILLA" (does the hypen have anything to do with copyright infringement? DOES IT? Becasue why not just say 'U-Godzilla presents'? Also, since U-God's name is hyphenated to begin with, wouldn't the actual title be U-GODZ-ILLA? Stu-pi-d)

Fuck. This song has U-Godz-illa, INF-Blackz-illa, Leatha-Facez-illa, and Autumn-Ruez-illa. How can it bad with so many smart and talented people working on it?



INF-BLACK

 Let us partake:


"Spit Game"



DAMN IT! SERIOUSLY? I'm 20 seconds in and it's wack as hell. Wacker than hell. What is wacker than hell? That's a philosophical question. Could U-God create a stone that was too heavy for him to lift? Think about it.

Whatever...wholly shit:

"Spit game...spit game...game...game..."

With a hook that hot how could anyone not spit game? Plus a beat from the Fisher Price Let's Make Music Keyboard (ages infant - 2 years)...

In all seriousness, the melody sounds almost the same as the melody in "Milk the Cow" by Cappadonna, but WAY WAY WAY more garbage.

Crap. Nobody has even rapped yet and I hate this song. The only one who could save this beat with an ill verse is Big Boi, but I'm sure he's too busy RAPPING LIKE A BOSS to appear on this rookie shit.

Ah, U-God is up first. And he sounds okay. Not bad at all. What? Well, he flows right on the beat. I think he mentions that he is "capsized in the game"...which means he is overturned and immobile. That's about right. He also says he'll "bang you out", so watch out for that. Whoever follows this is going to have a tough job, not only are they following a decent verse from the only recognizible name, they are also rapping on a gutter clog beat.

After another pitiful chorus we have someone else rapping! And it's a pretty normal verse. Nothing Special at all!

Third up is, uh, someone else! Who "talks" their way "out of beef" so that they have time to "get the heat". That's lame-o. You should be packin' all day, sucka. Fuck your time-buying tactics, I stay ready. Plus, he says that he doesn't care that I don't like him, because I "don't excite [him]". Fuck exciting you. That's silly shit. What? Are you going to "bang" me now? Like how you threaten to "bang" some "little lames"? HAHAH! Go ahead and "bang" them. It sounds like you want to do something else that doesn't involve guns. Hhaha. Next!

We end with a singing verse and it's worse than you could imagine!

  IN CONCLUSION: WEAK AND EMBARASSING. If you were rolling with your "trues" and you turned on this shit, you'd probably get "banged".

Track Score: 0/10

U-God’s Score: 5/10

Impact on Rep (+,-,=): None (nobody heard this)


Next Week: Who cares? More Scramblers trash.

About this series: “U-God’s Resume" is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.