Ultimate Rebel Machine Gun Kelly Does it Again! Breaking News!

Franklin Mills Mall, Do Not Allow Admission to MGK

OH BROTHER. Remember our friend Machine Gun Kelly, also known as our generation's Ultimate Rebel? The guy who fearlessly stood on a table in a Ohio mall food court and irritated shoppers in line the Talbots? Well, he's done it again, AT ANOTHER MALL, this time in Atlanta. Let's get the scoop.





Wild out! Great show. Actually, I did kind of like it. I think my reaction would have been a lot like the guy who recorded that video. At first I would have been quiet. Then I would have wondered why MGK was just flipping everyone off. Then I would have been laughing. Then I would have said "what did they expect".

UH-OH! Does this mean that I will now stop hating on MGK? I don't know! I still don't like his music, and I still don't like his "BAD BOY" image. And I even think that someone big should have slapped him down from that table and headlocked him until he started crying. But I do like when he performs at an event put on by Microsoft and yells "Fuck these computers and shit!" HAHAH! YES! SCORE! Maybe he even stomped on some expensive laptops before flipping off everyone!

Look, Microsoft and The Source (is that still around?), what in the fuck did you expect when you invited this guy to perform? Of course he's going to go bonkers, that's his thing. Of course he's going to use foul language and refuse to follow orders. That's what he does best.

"CUT OFF THAT MUSIC! MGK IS GOING CRAZY. Get him off the stage place we display expensive computers and into the employee restroom." - Microsoft Store




Let's see what the fallout was.

From Microsoft: The Source held a private event at the Microsoft Lenox Square Store. "We offer our stores as a venue for the community to use, and this event was not sponsored by Microsoft," says a spokesperson. "While the artist’s behavior was appropriate for a concert, some of it was not appropriate in a store environment."

HAHA! What a crock of dumbasses.

As for MGK:

“Last Friday, I was asked to perform at The Source’s Power 30 reception and honored to do so...My only goal was to give a great performance...Contrary to what is being reported by the media, I did not stomp on any computers, damage any store property nor were the police called on my behalf...There was some confusion as to where I should perform. But, in the end, it was all resolved. I’d like to thank The Source for the opportunity and let the people at Microsoft know I meant no disrespect.”

HAHA! Sure. You're forgiven I guess. If Microsoft can forgive you for saying to fuck their computers, why can't we?

IN CONCLUSION: Tearing up this shit is a pure hip hop move, but it's also kind of a jackass move. Grow up, MGK. But also break this fucking system down and teach these rich fat cats a lesson.

MGK WILD OUT SCORE 6/10 

Brought to you by the people of Microsoft.

 

We Got Something New: Method Man "World Gone Sour (The Lost Kids)"

Apparently I am way, WAY, WAAAAAY out of the loop on everything. Especially the things that I hold dear. What do I mean? What am I talking about you ask? How about this:



That's my ex-favorite MC Method Man doing something that I don't like at all. Actually it's Method Man doing the thing he does best: rapping. But here is a question: is this a commercial? Here is another question: is this the same guy who dropped "Bring the Pain"? That song was the best ever. What is this? Eat 'em up? Candy? Here's the answer: this is selling out big time.

I mean I like some of the lines here, but is this a commercial? Let's check the end:

BINGO! That's a commercial. Really, Method Man? You made a commercial for Sour Patch Kids Candy? Do you need money that bad? HOLY SHIT! I mean you've always done questionable stuff (sitcoms, movies, prequel albums, Limp Bizkit spots, etc.), but you also do a lot of good stuff (Tical, The Wire), and then you go and do this. You ruined a lot of people's day.

Also, I'm not one for censorship, I'll print anything on this blog, but Mr. Meth has a line in this song about a "BLEEEP Pump" being next to your shower and, dude, this is a commercial for candy. Candy that no adults like becasue it's gross and just dyed chemicals and sugar. Kids don't want to hear about "BLEEP Pumps" especially when they are just kids and just like kids stuff, like candy, they don't care about Bleep Pumps (pelvis thrust). Gross.


Now They're on Facebook, deleting all your friends fans

Let me just pull a few lines from the end of this song. Here, Method Man is describing the mischief that uneaten Sour Patch Kids cause:

Wipe the music off your MP3

Burn a rug

Pull the Plug on your MTV

This is thug vision in 3D

and these kids ain't worried

they play dirty like they're O. D. B.

I strongly oppose this ODB reference. Let's just go on with the lyrics:

These kids are rude 'til the day that they're chewed down

That's bad news, now they're in a bad mood, damn

First they're sour then they're sweet little dudes

and they will fight the power 'til they're food

Method Man gets a lot of leeway on the ODB references, but to get paid some amount of money to sell candy and then to compare that candy to the late great MC ODB is despicable. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU METHOD MAN? This is very wrong. Hey, Method Man, weren't you the guy who had a problem selling Wu-Wear? But this is cool?

Oh, and one other thing to the advertising execs who threw this together. I don't like Sour Patch Kids candy. Now that I've seen this video, I like them a lot less and I like Method Man a lot less. So, two strikes. Now, if I were on the fence about buying a bag of Sour Patch Kids, I doubt that this video would sway me either way. So, nice ineffective job, advertising executives, strike three. But what do I know, this commercial is clearly aimed at second graders.

In conclusion: DAMMIT. I need to rethink my life, this blog, my musical tastes, my views on Method Man. 

Method Man Score 0/10

Literally bringing the pain, and eating something that reminds him ODB (and also gives him $$$).

Yo! Ohio Flashmob Raps! - Breaking News

MGK! 

I guess you could say that this is breaking news even though it broke sometime back. Whatever, it's stupid anyway. So just as I was thinking that traditional flashmobs were a thing of the past (being replaced with less fun but equally stupid violent flash mobs) this happens. It's just a terrible flashmob hosted by a rapper, and you know when something bad happens in rap Puff Daddy is probably involved (he is). So this is basically a rap flashmob, in the affluent suburbs, hosted by Machine Gun Kelly (good grief) from none other than Bad Boy Records. Let's get the scoop:



That's embarrassing. I love hip hop, but shit like this makes me want to walk away. It's hard to see the art form stray so far from its roots. Puff Daddy should be apologizing...you crazy for this one Puffy (in a bad way)!

"Stop here mom driver, we'll go in through the Sears, then we'll flashmob the food court. Pick us up at nine." - Machine Gun Kelly

Do people still go to the mall? I mean, really? I guess in Ohio where your choices are (1) go to the mall or (2) go to Walmart with grandma, you'll probably go to the mall. In this video it looks like EVERYONE goes to the mall, especially when a terrible rapper shows up to stage dive off a table in front of the Chick-Fil-A. I guess he was born to be a Bad Boy! Also, mall security was hating! "Call for reinforcements, Machine Gun Kelly is trying to get to the Gap! Mobilize the JC Penny security team!"

I know I'm old and I don't go to the mall and I think flashmobs are fucking stupid, but what is a flashmob? In this video it looks like a bunch of kids show up and cheer while a few idiots jump around with their hands up while no music plays and mall security chokes them. "Yo, B! Set the megaphone to 'SIREN' and let's wild out!". T-Shirt's off! That's a cool way to spend an afternoon. This may be a case where I'm actually rooting for increased mall security brutality! CHOKE HIM OUT! CHOKE HIM OUT! BREAK OUT THE TAZERS! PUSH HIM OVER THE LEDGE! TURN ON THE CROWD! RELEASE THE HOUNDS! I MEAN HOLY SHIT! Every single person in this flashmob is worse than the last, you're a bunch of lowlife losers and Machine Gun Kelly is the worst and lowest life of them all and he's your leader. I mean that footage where the limo is driving away from the mall and all these gross kids are just running around like dead-eyed zombies makes me want to distance myself from civilization. But I did like that the two fans who turn up at the police station are like eight years old. MGK For Life! Then NAP TIME!

I guess it's time for full disclosure. I've been to this mall before. My travels have taken me to Strongsville, Ohio! That's how international I roll. My uncle had a wedding and I had to get my tux from this very mall. Small world right? I remember that it was a normal mall, but at that time there weren't any Bad Boy artists ruining my experience. Needless to say, if I had to wait to get a tux (that I didn't want to wear anyway) because of some bored kids "mobbing" I would have been pretty mad. Also, MGK (as Machine Gun Kelly is known casually) is from East Cleveland, and this horrible mall is in (the nice) suburbs west of Cleveland, so people turn out for the best "artist" they've got in their area. I mean, look at Nelly, I'm sure they still love him in Missouri.

The Next Generation of Bad Boy:
B.I.G.was grabbing #1 Mom Pendants, MGK is holding up the line at Cinnabon.

In the end MGK says he "showed the power of the movement". Nope. He "made a statement"? Nope. He showed appreciation for his fans? Nope. At least it showed that he was "still grounded". Nope. He demonstrated that bored kids will turn up for any idiot who is willing to stand on a table at the mall. Ohio!

Well, at some point I hope I can listen to some of the newest Bad Boy's music (probably not, knowing how Puffy handles new artists). Cleveland must have something to offer besides Bone* right?
*Bone was pretty good for their time. 

FLASHMOB SCORE 0/10

Yo! Anne Hathaway Raps!

Okay this video shouldn't even be on here because it's a viral video and it's just dumb, but one of our young bonehead interns found it and likes Batman or whatever and put it up without permission from the board or the editor. Needless to say that intern has been fired and we had his car towed to an unknown location. So now we'll all just have to suffer through this and write it up the best we can. It is Friday so give us a break (TGen).

I'll warn you this is very tough to watch. It's Anne Hathaway thinking that she can rap cuz she's and entertainer or whatever. After all, anyone can rap - its not a skill or an art to be mastered. You just write a funny rap in your mansions, then rehearse in your limo and it's as good as anyone else. The funny thing is she says that it's in the style of "Little Wayne", she should say that it's in the QUALITY of "Little Wayne" (burn). To me it's more in the style of Niki Minaj but who cares. Okay, see if you can sit through this.



Why was the crowd going crazy? Are they star struck or something? Is that a thing? Well I'm not star struck. This is insulting. Hey Anne Hathaway STOP RAPPING! Go back on vacation in Italy or whatever you do. Enjoy your yacht. Well at least she's talking about something that  we can all relate to: millionaire stuff. Paparazzi and whatever. And she did such a good job. Just great rhymes and flows. Extra Large!

Okay, off to make the doughnuts, minimum wage status. I'll write a quick funny rap about stealing a few doughnuts to feed my kids so they at least get some nourishment today. Oh that and Paparazzi. Those two things weight heavily on my mind.

Anne Hathaway Score: 0/10
Rap Score: 0/10