Ultimate Rebel Machine Gun Kelly Does it Again! Breaking News!

Franklin Mills Mall, Do Not Allow Admission to MGK

OH BROTHER. Remember our friend Machine Gun Kelly, also known as our generation's Ultimate Rebel? The guy who fearlessly stood on a table in a Ohio mall food court and irritated shoppers in line the Talbots? Well, he's done it again, AT ANOTHER MALL, this time in Atlanta. Let's get the scoop.





Wild out! Great show. Actually, I did kind of like it. I think my reaction would have been a lot like the guy who recorded that video. At first I would have been quiet. Then I would have wondered why MGK was just flipping everyone off. Then I would have been laughing. Then I would have said "what did they expect".

UH-OH! Does this mean that I will now stop hating on MGK? I don't know! I still don't like his music, and I still don't like his "BAD BOY" image. And I even think that someone big should have slapped him down from that table and headlocked him until he started crying. But I do like when he performs at an event put on by Microsoft and yells "Fuck these computers and shit!" HAHAH! YES! SCORE! Maybe he even stomped on some expensive laptops before flipping off everyone!

Look, Microsoft and The Source (is that still around?), what in the fuck did you expect when you invited this guy to perform? Of course he's going to go bonkers, that's his thing. Of course he's going to use foul language and refuse to follow orders. That's what he does best.

"CUT OFF THAT MUSIC! MGK IS GOING CRAZY. Get him off the stage place we display expensive computers and into the employee restroom." - Microsoft Store




Let's see what the fallout was.

From Microsoft: The Source held a private event at the Microsoft Lenox Square Store. "We offer our stores as a venue for the community to use, and this event was not sponsored by Microsoft," says a spokesperson. "While the artist’s behavior was appropriate for a concert, some of it was not appropriate in a store environment."

HAHA! What a crock of dumbasses.

As for MGK:

“Last Friday, I was asked to perform at The Source’s Power 30 reception and honored to do so...My only goal was to give a great performance...Contrary to what is being reported by the media, I did not stomp on any computers, damage any store property nor were the police called on my behalf...There was some confusion as to where I should perform. But, in the end, it was all resolved. I’d like to thank The Source for the opportunity and let the people at Microsoft know I meant no disrespect.”

HAHA! Sure. You're forgiven I guess. If Microsoft can forgive you for saying to fuck their computers, why can't we?

IN CONCLUSION: Tearing up this shit is a pure hip hop move, but it's also kind of a jackass move. Grow up, MGK. But also break this fucking system down and teach these rich fat cats a lesson.

MGK WILD OUT SCORE 6/10 

Brought to you by the people of Microsoft.

 

We Got Something New! The Stack Boys "Snapbacks"

I would hate to let you go into your weekend without some $WAG. Let's get stupid, it's TGIF. Let's get punk'd! $ta¢k Boy$ STAND UP!

Snapback

Snapback

All I wear is

Snapbacks

"PUT ON SOME PANTS" - Adults

You know, not long ago this would have made me quite mad. In fact, a few seconds ago this would have made me mad. Especially when I saw the MANSION that these kids seem to have and the giant TV that they have, and the PROFESSIONAL recording equipment. Hey kids, you've got the good life. You can wear only sanpbacks if you want to. Most of us are struggling to make it check to check and whatever.com.


Do we really need a bunch of rich preteens flaunting their parent's wealth? No.


But then I had a thought that made me VERY HAPPY! If these freeloading kids are wasting their time on this nonsense (which is basically a commercial for the things they found at the mall), then they're not spending their time in school learning how to exploit working people. These kids were future oppressors, now they have no future in oppression thanks to them spending their time making dumbass videos that nobody wants to see. Keep wasting your time kids! See you in the unemployment line! The rich get dumber in this case! Power to the people.


SNAPBACKS SCORE 0/10

P.S. I also like how one of the $ta¢k Boy$ points out that it's stupid to rap about "drugs" and "actin' like a thug" but then proceeds to rap about hats and shoes and money for five minutes. He's mad at people acting hard in their songs, but then goes on to rap about driving Porsches when he is clearly nine years old. Not stupid at all.

Yo! Ohio Flashmob Raps! - Breaking News

MGK! 

I guess you could say that this is breaking news even though it broke sometime back. Whatever, it's stupid anyway. So just as I was thinking that traditional flashmobs were a thing of the past (being replaced with less fun but equally stupid violent flash mobs) this happens. It's just a terrible flashmob hosted by a rapper, and you know when something bad happens in rap Puff Daddy is probably involved (he is). So this is basically a rap flashmob, in the affluent suburbs, hosted by Machine Gun Kelly (good grief) from none other than Bad Boy Records. Let's get the scoop:



That's embarrassing. I love hip hop, but shit like this makes me want to walk away. It's hard to see the art form stray so far from its roots. Puff Daddy should be apologizing...you crazy for this one Puffy (in a bad way)!

"Stop here mom driver, we'll go in through the Sears, then we'll flashmob the food court. Pick us up at nine." - Machine Gun Kelly

Do people still go to the mall? I mean, really? I guess in Ohio where your choices are (1) go to the mall or (2) go to Walmart with grandma, you'll probably go to the mall. In this video it looks like EVERYONE goes to the mall, especially when a terrible rapper shows up to stage dive off a table in front of the Chick-Fil-A. I guess he was born to be a Bad Boy! Also, mall security was hating! "Call for reinforcements, Machine Gun Kelly is trying to get to the Gap! Mobilize the JC Penny security team!"

I know I'm old and I don't go to the mall and I think flashmobs are fucking stupid, but what is a flashmob? In this video it looks like a bunch of kids show up and cheer while a few idiots jump around with their hands up while no music plays and mall security chokes them. "Yo, B! Set the megaphone to 'SIREN' and let's wild out!". T-Shirt's off! That's a cool way to spend an afternoon. This may be a case where I'm actually rooting for increased mall security brutality! CHOKE HIM OUT! CHOKE HIM OUT! BREAK OUT THE TAZERS! PUSH HIM OVER THE LEDGE! TURN ON THE CROWD! RELEASE THE HOUNDS! I MEAN HOLY SHIT! Every single person in this flashmob is worse than the last, you're a bunch of lowlife losers and Machine Gun Kelly is the worst and lowest life of them all and he's your leader. I mean that footage where the limo is driving away from the mall and all these gross kids are just running around like dead-eyed zombies makes me want to distance myself from civilization. But I did like that the two fans who turn up at the police station are like eight years old. MGK For Life! Then NAP TIME!

I guess it's time for full disclosure. I've been to this mall before. My travels have taken me to Strongsville, Ohio! That's how international I roll. My uncle had a wedding and I had to get my tux from this very mall. Small world right? I remember that it was a normal mall, but at that time there weren't any Bad Boy artists ruining my experience. Needless to say, if I had to wait to get a tux (that I didn't want to wear anyway) because of some bored kids "mobbing" I would have been pretty mad. Also, MGK (as Machine Gun Kelly is known casually) is from East Cleveland, and this horrible mall is in (the nice) suburbs west of Cleveland, so people turn out for the best "artist" they've got in their area. I mean, look at Nelly, I'm sure they still love him in Missouri.

The Next Generation of Bad Boy:
B.I.G.was grabbing #1 Mom Pendants, MGK is holding up the line at Cinnabon.

In the end MGK says he "showed the power of the movement". Nope. He "made a statement"? Nope. He showed appreciation for his fans? Nope. At least it showed that he was "still grounded". Nope. He demonstrated that bored kids will turn up for any idiot who is willing to stand on a table at the mall. Ohio!

Well, at some point I hope I can listen to some of the newest Bad Boy's music (probably not, knowing how Puffy handles new artists). Cleveland must have something to offer besides Bone* right?
*Bone was pretty good for their time. 

FLASHMOB SCORE 0/10