Check the Bio, Son: Method Man

Check the Bio, Son: Method Man

Remember this guy?  Neither do I.

--Official Stats--

Artist: Method Man

Item: "Bio" portion of official website

Aliases: Meth, Mef, Johnny Blaze, Hot Nikkels, MZA, Iron Lung, Shakwon, Ticalion Stallion

Affiliations: The Wu Tang Clan, Redman

Mef is known for bringing the pain.  Only a few years back, writing a review like this would have brought me the pain, and the only thing I am doing here is checking out the "Bio" section of Method Man's official website. But why would I feel pain?  Because I expect more from one of my favorite MCs.  Yes, even on their internet Bio.

This whole concept of overwritten rapper biographies is kind of new to me, but at the same time it makes me sick and angry. And sad. Listen, Iron Lung, you don't need a bio. If your record company or whatever requires it then just do something simple like mention where you're from (say something like "from the Quentin Carnival" which is where the comic book character Johnny Blaze is from, or better yet "Shaolin"), then say your a DOPE MC, then just write: "You can come test realize you're no contest, Son. I'm the gun that won that old Wild West". Done. Bio is in the bag and will get props.

Unfortunately, Method Man (more likely Def Jam) went an entirely different direction and hired some lackey English major to get all deep. And guess what? It sucks. Quite frankly, it's embarrassing to me as a fan and should be to Meth as an artist. So let's dig in:

Remember this guy? Neither do I.

Sorry, but I have to start by quoting his whole first paragraph:

"In the dark, womb-like sanctuary of Jimi Hendrix's Electric Lady studios in downtown Manhattan, a place that has birthed historical musical moments sits the artist known as Iron Lung, Tical, Wu Brother #1, Johnny Blaze, and of course Method Man. With a trusty, half-lit blunt by his side, he is lounging in front of white grand piano, his hands sweeping the keyboards, trying to remember a tune he memorized years ago."

Seriously? Let's see what we have already: very moody (womb-like, WHAT?). Name Dropping. That stupid alias listing thing that Meth is so fond of. A reference to blunts (because, of course). And a White Grand Piano with the Iron Lung's hands "sweeping the keyboards trying to remember a tune...". Hold up. What? Is Method Man in High School drama club? Is this a cry for help? Is he trying to paint himself as Elton John? Seriously, this is so stupid. This is a rugged hip hop legend, not an artsy doofus setting the mood. Oh, but wait, my concerns are addressed in the next paragraph:

"Maybe the idea of one of hip hops finest and grimiest emcees tickling the ivories sounds odd, or out of place, but Mr. Mef has never been the type to fit in."

Yes it does sound odd, actually, and very stupid. This is not what his fans want to hear about him (I doubt anyone wants to hear this), but, you know, Mr. Mef has never been the type to fit in. You might expect him to be doing things a rapper would do, like playing video games, but nope, he's breaking the mold, you know remembering things and playing a grand piano. Next we get into a description of Meth on the mic:

"his flow dark and complex like the graphic novels from which he took his moniker from"

Moniker? Who wrote this? His voice can:

"complement the voices of R and B divas and or attack party tracks"

Sure it can, but he should ask himself should he be complimenting R and B divas? NO!  Should he be attacking party tracks?  Again, NO!  

But it says Method Man is a true artist, and I agree, he is an all-around fantastic MC, no question. Ill imaginative lyrics, a tight flexible flow, a great team player who lifts up anyone guesting with him, Meth is the best.  But what does his bio say?

"Whether he is trading verses with partner in rhyme, Redman, crowd surfing at a Wu Tang show, or stealing a scene in various television shows and films..." 

Oh, he's that kind of artist.  The crowd surfing type.  That's what I know him for.

Wow, this is taking a long time. This was going to be one of my short posts.  Why is he mentioning his TV work?  Even he wants to forget his TV work.

Moving on, we get to the promotional part of the bio (for 4:21), and this is interesting because Meth is basically saying "Yeah, my previous work sucked, but now I'm serious." I mean, check this out: 

"Unlike some previous efforts where Meth admits his priorities were different on this new album, he says he's focusing on lyrics."

An MC focusing on lyrics?  Really?  That sentence is kind of sad.  You know that one of two things happened: Meth half-assed some of his work (possible) or Def Jam forced him to rush out lousy product and alienate his fans (probable).  A few lines are in there about how the new album will be better as it will have "his most personal and introspective work yet". Yep, that's what we want. How about bringing the pain, good sir?  He goes on to brag about quickly finishing songs for 4:21 (read: rushing).  Then they throw this in there: 

"The Grammy-winner sighs and continues, a serious, determined look on his face.
'You feel like you're not in on the joke, and everyone's laughing at you. I felt like no one was taking me seriously.' "

Method Man, I am a HUGE fan and even I am laughing at that "Grammy-winner sighs" line.  Trust me, nobody is laughing at your career, we all want you to make good tracks again. Not this overproduced syrup you've been putting out for most of your career.  Raw and rugged, go for that.

Well, the Bio ends with this:

 "his skin hasn't gotten any thicker, he's able to use his writing talent to inspire self-confidence. 'Its real talk, I'm going to keep my spirits up and not let it get things to me. You know, if you start reading your own  press and feeding into it, and you start questioning yourself, like, am I wack? and you have to be like, No! I learned to
 pat myself on the back, and that it's ok to pat myself on the back sometimes.'  We definitely agree."

A pity party. Dude, suck it up and focus on...I don't know, I just want more good music, and I think you do as well.  And what is this "we definitely agree" shit?  Who wrote this for you? Def Jam? Meth, I've seen live interviews with you many times, and you don't talk like this.  You're better than this. What is going on?



Finally, it seems no Bio can be written without a ton of name dropping so let's see who Meth drops (I think Redman and fellow Clansman are allowed):

Jimi Hendrix, Rocwilder, Scott Storch, Havoc, K1, Lauryn Hill, and Eric Sermon

Oh, at the beginning of this review (or rant or whatever) I said that this would have brought me pain a few years ago, well it doesn't anymore. I expect this weak shit from everyone now all the time. Especially from Meth. It hurts because I am such a big fan (believe it or not).

Bio Score: 0/10

Remember this guy (the one on the right)? Neither do I.

The original text of the Bio:

METHOD MAN

In the dark, womb-like sanctuary of Jimi Hendrix's Electric Lady studios in downtown Manhattan, a place that has birthed historical musical moments sits the artist known as Iron Lung, Tical, Wu Brother #1, Johnny Blaze, and of course Method Man. With a trusty, half-lit blunt by his side, he is lounging in front of white grand piano, his hands sweeping the keyboards, trying to remember a tune he memorized years ago.

Maybe the idea of one of hip hops finest and grimiest emcees tickling the ivories sounds odd, or out of place, but Mr. Mef has never been the type to fit in. His husky, guttural voice is perhaps the most distinct in the game, his flow dark and complex like the graphic novels from which he took his moniker from can bury itself in cinematic tracks from RZA, complement the voices of R and B divas and or attack party tracks from Rocwilder. Whether he is trading verses with partner in rhyme, Redman, crowd surfing at a Wu Tang show, or stealing a scene in various television shows and films, Method Man is a true individual spirit. With his latest album, 4:21, The Day After, he is also focused on being a true artist.

Unlike some previous efforts where Meth admits his priorities were different on this new album, he says he's focusing on lyrics. After his last album, Tical O: The Prequel, he went through an especially rough time in his life both personally and professionally which provided him with a bulk of material. I had a lot on my mind at the time and the second thing was, I decided to really talk about something and I had a lot to draw from and when the pen hit the paper it was like damn, remember this? And by the time I was done it was like shit, lets go. The result is his most personal and introspective work yet.

Doing the work behind the boards on 4:21, are Wu Tang mastermind and long-time collaborator, RZA as well as Scott Storch, Havoc, K1 and Eric Sermon. With Eric, we did three songs in three days, Meth says with an amazed smile, He just comes in with ideas of top. And with RZA, shit, I've watched him build tracks from scratch, so all I really have to do is put the pen to the paper. Eric Sermon provided the beat for Meth's first single, "Say", featuring Lauryn Hill. The track finds Meth addressing critics, fickle fans and haters for disrespecting him and his Wu Tang brethren.

"I've been venting about all this for years and [my manager] was like, write about it, Eric has the perfect joint. And, Lauryn Hill herself, she just had the raw emotion, the small things she said on the song was enough for me to push my pen and let myself be vulnerable. Meth says his ability to let himself be so open is in line with the entire concept of the album, and its title. The national weed smoking day is 4/20, so I named my album 4/21 the day after. Because after that day, you have this moment of clarity when you're not high and you see things clearly. The Grammy-winner sighs and continues, a serious, determined look on his face. You feel like you're not in on the joke, and everyone's laughing at you. I felt like no one was taking me seriously. I got real angry and I just starting writing."

Anger proved to be a great motivator, as the Ticalion Stallion wrapped up the album in a few short months. He says the creative process has been cathartic, and though his skin hasn't gotten any thicker, he's able to use his writing talent to inspire self-confidence.

"Its real talk, I'm going to keep my spirits up and not let it get things to me. You know, if you start reading your own press and feeding into it, and you start questioning yourself, like, am I wack? and you have to be like, No! I learned to pat myself on the back, and that it's ok to pat myself on the back sometimes."

We definitely agree.