Monday, November 14, 2011

Check the Bio, Son: Edo Maajka

The first question you should be asking your self besides, "why am I reading this terrible blog" is "who in the hell is Edo Maajka, and why does he have so many 'A's in his name?". Right. Well let's check out his biography...or I guess I should say his "biografija". Oh boy, this is going to be painful.

Your Emcee for the Night?


Well, it's all in some foreign language. Uggh. There is no way I'm reading this thing, and Google doesn't even know what language it is to translate it. So i guess we're out of luck. Game over, man. Oh, what about Wikipedia. Well it says he's from "Brčko, SR Bosnia and Herzegovina, SFR Yugoslavia" That's exactly where I would have guessed. Actually, I'm joking (lol), I don't think that's even a place. SR? SFR? WTF? We'll just go with Bosnia, right? Fine. So next it says "Edin's stage name 'Edo Maajka' literally means 'Edo the Mother'." Of course it does, that's a normal rap name and very street. Actually isn't Bosinia literally a tough place to live or grow up? I don't know. I would have guessed that someone from Bosnia would have a tremendously tough name, not this:

Edo the Mother (seriously)
Edo Maajka apparently has four albums:

   2002: Slušaj mater                           (in english: "Listen to mother")
   2004: No sikiriki                               (no translation)
   2006: Stig'o ćumur                           (no translation)
   2008: Balkansko a naše                  (in english: "Balkan and our")

You can see that those titles don't mean anything to us in America. Some of them don't even translate on a Bosnian website! That's wack! Even if he does win a hundred awards a year (European Awards), he should at least speak a language that Google knows about, right? I'm starting to think that this is going to be harder than it looks. Every barrier is too wide: cultural, language, uh, all of them. I mean he dedicates one of his songs to the coal miners of Breza. WHAT? This is like really far out hip hop. I need to reboot and take a new approach to this bio. Wait! In Wikipedia's description of the hit album "Stig'o ćumur" (lol) they describe what each song is about. Now we're getting somewhere. So let's just write something about that. Tort Team Assemble!!!!!!! (AIR HORN)

"Stig'o ćumur"
(Wikipedia text is bolded, my commentary is not)

1. Uši zatvori
"Listen to folk, dance, house, and the rest of the scene. No one is forcing you to listen to me," is the chorus of this song. Right off the bet, Edo Maajka explains in the mist of tall the criticism about his lyrics that no one is forcing you to play my music."

Right off the bat, I'm confused. But I bet that when someone in Bosnia reads Eminem’s bio they are just as confused.

2. Bomba
"A song about having to pay, literally pay, to keep a beautiful girl around because she's a bomb."

I get this one. I don't know about the term "a bomb" but I get the general idea. Maybe we have a lot in common Edo the Mother (or whatever the name is).

3. Budi i ti
"In this song, Edo and the featured artists are making fun of the American and Balkan music scene and MTV."

Bingo! Me and Edo are again on the same page here apparently. Granted, I've never mede fun of the Balkan music scene (until today), but those toady posers at MTV...I hate 'em.

4. Trpaj
"A dong about being arrested and sent to jail, going through the process, but on more positive side."

Just to be clear, that's not a typo on my part. That's right from Wikipedia, and it might really mean 'dong', I don't know. I don't speak Bosnian or whatever. Also, it's nice to see a song about the positive side of going to jail. I'm sure there are tons of wonderful behind-the-scenes things that happen that we just don't hear about on the outside.

5. Para na paru (uš na fukaru)
"Money on Money. You need money, but cant find a job and dad won't loan you any."

Dads, am I right? They're the worst."Hey old man, why don't you lend me some of your fortune? I've got a Bomba to take care of." No Way. Also, dumb idea for a song. Money on money.

6. Sretno dijete
"a song about young people and their problems. Through two verses he explains the situation of one young male and female and the problems surrounding them."

The older I get, the less I want to hear about young people and their problems. Sure, the problems that young people have in Bosnia are probably a million times worse than our American young people problems, but still, it's all dating, girls, parent's, grown ups, and homework. I don't care about any of those things!

7. To mora da je ljubav
Uh oh, this song had no explination...I guess we'll skip it. I'm sure "To Mora" means "Your Mom" and "da je ljubav" means "put your hands in the air". So, a normal rap song!

8. To što se traži
"An explanation of Edo's thinking what the pop music scene is and his disgust for it."

Something like this makes me think that we could be friends. My thinking for the pop music scene (and all music scenes) is disgust. Another song I could throw my support behind probably.

9. Moj cijeli život
"In am fast tempo song, where he doubled his speed of rapping, Edo talks about how is started rap and became so famous, but in a very positive way."

Whatev's...sounds LAME...but, on the other hand Edo is very famous, so who am I to judge? AND congrats on being (slightly) worse than us on grammar!

10. Za Mirzu
Uh, at this point Wikipedia stopped helping me! Well just go with this: more of the same.

11. Rek'o sam joj
More of the same. I'm pretty sure that JOJ is Bosnia's version of LOL, so this is an internet slang song.

12. Moš' me pljuvat'
Well since there is no translation for this, I'll just make it up! "Moš' me pljuvat'" probably means "Move My Uncle", so this is a song about helping your loved ones move into a new apartment.

13. Stvoren za rep
Okay. Eh, "Rep" definitely translates to "Rap". As for "Stvoren", ah, who cares. You know I wonder if Bosnian rappers purposefully misspell their song titles like American rappers do. If so that explains a lot, like why I can't translate any of this shit. Or maybe these are English song titles, and Edo just took the misspelling to the extreme. Of course that's not it.

14. Blažena tišina
More of the same? I would bet money that this song is about weed. Blaze that tišina.

15. Nikad više
This song is probably about Edo's vice that I am making up: nudity.

16. Severina/Fm Jam (hidden track)
Ah, the concept of the "FM Jam" is well known in America. We have the top eight at eight on Cool 102.9! All of those songs stink as so does this (I'm assuming).

Okay! So this was a Biography review that couldn't be accomplished thanks to the language barier, so it became an album review where I didn't even listen to any of the songs, I just read the descriptions from around the internet and reviewed that. What a disaster. How does this even get published? How can we go on after this...this is a new low. Not as bad as Edo Maajka or whatever, but this is baaaaaaad.

Bio Score 0/10
Stig'o ćumur Score 0/10

Are you havin' a laff?

1 comment:

  1. to the champion who wrote this blog. im not bosnian, im macedoinian but im a keen listener of edo maajka as i can understand the language. first of all i would like to say that i dont like wait i f**ing hate rap but i really dig this guy. you see there are alot of rappers who are better than him but there are none who are better story tellers than edo. he has done what the african americans have in america only in the balkans, balkan style. it is very hard for someone to understand the meaning of his songs unless you are from the balkans or you have spent some time there. so for you sir to review his biography is like for donald trump giving hairstyle tips. i guess what im trying to say here is you are an ignorant prick! cheers