Thursday, November 10, 2011

Yo! Check Out My Cover: "Quap Gettaz"

--Official Stats--
Artist: Parlae, Yo Gotti, Starlito, Young Buck, SlickPulla, GucciMane+ More
Album: Quap Gettaz True Trap Xcluzives (mixtape)
Release Date: September 3, 2010
Listens: 490

This is where I review an album cover without listening to the album. Enjoy.

Imagine you're walking around Zoo Atlanta with your family. You're making friends and checking out the Parakeets when you venture off a bit to get a Coke. Suddenly you are snared in a trap and find yourself blindfolded in the back of a crunk van. After a short drive you're pulled out and the blindfold is removed. It turns out that you're at some abandoned "parts and salvage" building. Is this a nightmare or a mixtape album cover? Wait, you're surrounded! Your captors introduce themselves (as listed in the album description):

Parlae of Dem Franchize Boyz
Yo Gotti - A/K/A Lil Yo from J Records
Starlito - A/K/A the All $tar Cashville Prince, from Cash Money Records
Young Buck
Slick Pulla from United Streets Dopeboyz of America and the Corporate Thugs
Gucci Mane
and you also see the Bo$$ Ri¢k Ro$$ (without his famous chain of his own face)

This is serious. But it gets worse, the mastermind behind the whole operation is called "" (a website!) who you immediately know by his alternate name "U Know I Got Them Xcluzives". It doesn't look good. (That website is hilariously listed as presenting the album, wtf?)

So let's examine the scene. All of these rappers are known as "Quap Gettas" and trappers, and everybody knows what those two terms mean. Actually not many people do, but from your experience "Back Door Boomin'" with Young Buck you know that Quap Gettas are quick money makers and trappers are rappers who wear t-shirts.

The abandoned building is just a common place that trappers use as a hideout and to keep their wheelbarrows of cash and to rap (seriously, wheelbarrows? I hope there isn't a gust of wind). It looks like a dreadful place, and, trust me, you're not getting rescued if you're a hostage there, I mean there is trash everywhere and nobody wants anything to do with Quap Gettas. But you notice something odd as you cower in fear, among the five hostage takers standing before you (one has a vest and a machine gun, so he was probably in the Navy Seals...Also, is he kneeling in the Wheelbarrow? Because his legs don't touch the ground.) There are stacks of money that have fallen to the ground. Rick Ro$$ (the guy on the far left with the sunglasses who looks like he is saying "I have an idea!") is standing near some money that fell out of a wheelbarrow, but the stack is bigger than his shoe! You realize that these aren't real people, they've been poorly superimposed! And that's not real money, it was also superimposed, it's not even kind of flying around that middle guy at all (or is it falling out of his hat?). Those guys were never even there! It even looks like their chains were superimposed on their chests. You're all alone. Or are you?

You soon realize that you were never really a hostage, you were still at the zoo and everything was superimposed the whole time (that building even looks somehow fake). It was a birthday surprise from your loving wife. Happy Birthday, this cover is awful.

Art Score: 0/10
Review Score: 0/10


1 comment:

  1. That is funny as shit... I wouldn't be surprised if the entire cover was just a figment of our imaginations and all we were seeing is a black screen.

    Good job Dag!