Thursday, January 12, 2012

Yo! Check Out My Cover: DJ Coppa "Stay In Your Lane Vol. 14"

Artist: DJ Coppa
Album: "Stay In Your Lane Vol. 14" (Mixtape)
Available: DatPiff 
Uploaded: October 29, 2011
Listens: 4,426

This is where I review an album cover without listening to the album. Enjoy friends.

I can't believe that I didn't find out about the Stay In Your Lane mixtape series until volume 14! I am way out of the loop. Yet I refuse to cave, I shall not listen to this album, I shall just gaze my eyes upon the cover and thusly describe my, uh, what I'm seeing. Hashtag.

So a common theme in mixtape album covers appears to be warehouses. If I were going to make an album cover I doubt I would use a warehouse, it's just weird and uninteresting (yet this blog is weird and uninteresting and I do it like sixty hours a week). In this case, even the warehouse looks computer generated. Good grief, right? Right, DJ Coppa? Is that Coppa like Copper the metal or Copper like 1930's slang for police? Good question? No great question.

Okay, so it's time to figure out who is putting out this tape. Easy right: "DJs are" and DJ Coppa. Whoever those guys are. Is CJ Coppa one of those guys on the cover? Is he one of those guys on the TV screens? We may never know. Speaking of those guys on the TV screens, is that the same guy on all three screens? Are those the desktop images on the warehouse PC's? Probably not. CALL IT! Now my first thought when I saw this cover was that the TV screens were showing images from security cameras. Clearly they need security at their warehouse, I mean look at all that money and red packages, and fine luggage. I mean, DJ Coppa or whoever had better have a security service.

So now it's wild assumption time. I'm guessing that DJ Coppa is the guy on the security monitors. That means one of three things. One, he's doing some kind of security drill (doubtful) and testing the system and his security staff. OR: Two, he's robbing the warehouse (also doubtful). Finally, maybe he is installing the security cameras (again, doubtful). Why is there a different image of him on each screen, and why isn't anyone in the warehouse looking at the monitors? That's mad negligent. Oh, maybe he's waiting outside for them to come out so that he can fight them (he does look pretty mad) and they're waiting him out. "Just chillllll.....He'll leave at some point".

Okay, now for the warehouse crew who have a trashcan of cash, boxes of cash, and bags of money with dollar signs on them (LOOL).

A real thing.

Those are definitely real bags of money. When they load the ATM here at the Tortoise General Headquarters they always have a cart of those.

So one guy is reclined in the chair with his hood on. Good idea! Take a break. The other guys have nowhere to sit...which is probably why they all look mad and have their hands posed in such intimidating ways. Word. One guy has eagle pants (of course), like a thunderbird car and his shirt kind of matches. If I were making a album cover, I would definitely put him front and center because he has the best pants. Then there are a few more guys and what can I say? Chains, foam cups of grape soda, hats, and wrist watches. Normal stuff.

Someone needs to clean up that mess and then use some of that money to rent some clean office space with carpet. Real estate is cheap right now. Move up the property ladder.

So we have one happy guy in a chair, a bunch of dudes angry with nowhere to sit, while DJ Coppa is on mad security cameras waiting them out. Bogus.

Cover Art Score 0/10

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