Pharrell Williams Forced to Quit Exploiting Alcoholic Ladies



Nice Perfume Bottle, Poser

Hi! All of a sudden we're picking on Pharrell Williams all the time. Let me assure you, it's not because his silly band of poser "nonconformists" blocked me on Twitter for calling him out on his brand's constant fake shit. It's because he's wack, and in the news, and irritating me right now even though he is an innovative okay popular producer.



So here is the news in a nutshell: Pharrell Williams tried to get richer by contracting a company to produce, market and distribute his "Q Qream" booze (so all he did was approve a flavor and lend them his brand). Things didn't work out and now he is suing them for $5 million. This is all normal stuff and typical business happenings. Business never personal, etc.. Who of us hasn't sued for millions? Let he who is without lawsuits throw the first subponea.

So why am I reporting this? Pharrell positions himself as a staunch individualist. He has a brand and a message, which I don't really get (because it's all feel-good hogwash designed to make people who aren't especially unique feel special). It's something like "if you just be yourself you'll blow everyone's minds, and get the money, but haters are going to hate so FUCK THEM!" Something like that.

There is a huge issue with these assholes at iamOTHER that nobody seems to call out: they encourage being different and being yourself, but at the same time they demand a very strict conformity. You have to "fit in" with this crowd of nobodys. Don't believe me?

-I guarantee that iamOTHER would not encourage 2012 Vice Presidential Candidate Paul Ryan to be himself because he would just be a total hater as himself and he would screw everything up.

It's all labels, man. But instead of any specific label they use "other" which is still a label. It's something like rejecting broad labels and replacing them with vague labels. I'm not a science-nerd, I'm into science and it's my major, but I like a lot of things and I'm independent and for the people.

That and a lot of wikiquotes (and hypocrisy).

Wow. I've written like a million words and I haven't even got to the purpose of this post. Pharrell Williams is a brand manager and if you think you're making a statement by drinking his shit liquor, you're an idiot.

So I'll post the article (from allhiphop.com) in it's entirety at the end, but here are some choice quotes:

The lawsuit claims that Diageo failed to produce and distribute his “Q Qream” alcoholic beverage, which was supposed to be a high-end drink marketed towards women..Pharrell Williams claims that sales of his Q Qream liquor were “substantially lower” because it was marketed as a “club drink” and not the “high-end, leisure class” drink that he envisioned Q Qream to be...The lawsuit also claims that Diageo manufactured bottles of Q Qream that had faulty tops, impacting bartenders and consumers willingness to use the product.

Marketing and branding. The lawsuit identifies the plaintiff as fucking "Pharrell Williams Licensing, LLC and Pharrell Williams". That's your lone-wolf leader in going against the system. My friends, this guy is the system, and he's playing you like one of his billion dollar drum machines.

From Elissa Stolman at CMJ:
“Qream was created for contemporary women who work hard and want to relax with friends at the end of the day,” Pharrell told AllHipHop.com. “Women make up half the population and Qream is about celebrating that power.”

He made this shit to get money you fools. He targeted ladies. He made the bottle look feminine (and stupid) to get ladies money. He gave the drink a smooth name to appeal to the ladies. He made his advertisements attractive to ladies. Why? Because iamOTHER? NO. Because iwant$$$$. That's why he does everything.

Plus the bottles are leaky and expensive? Pour me another Qream. 




HAHA! Anyway, I hope you win the lawsuit Pharrell. I hope the company you are suing goes out of business and all those people lose their jobs. Then I hope you take the $5 million and lose it trying to cater to preteens. Then I hope you lose your job as a corporate fat cat and you focus on making music.

IN CONCLUSION: Pharrell Williams is the worst. Burn your Wall Street mansion! Quit exploiting the people. Check this out (I took some quotes from here as well).

Qream Score 0/10

Pure Class

(AllHipHop News) Pharrell Williams has filed a lawsuit against Diageo North America, over a deal to market and distribute the superstar rapper/producers brand of liquor.
Pharrell Williams PW Licensing LLC filed the lawsuit against Diageo North America last week, in Manhattan federal court.
The lawsuit claims that Diageo failed to produce and distribute his “Q Qream” alcoholic beverage, which was supposed to be a high-end drink marketed towards women.
The lawsuit claims that in July 2012, Diageo informed Williams that they would be shutting down the Q Qream business, without warning, after two years of building the brand.
“PW turned away other concrete opportunities to collaborate with other alcoholic beverage distributors on a partnership, in favor of proceeding with Diageo,” the lawsuit reads.
Pharrell Williams claims that sales of his Q Qream liquor were “substantially lower” because it was marketed as a “club drink” and not the “high-end, leisure class” drink that he envisioned Q Qream to be.
The lawsuit also claims that Diageo manufactured bottles of Q Qream that had faulty tops, impacting bartenders and consumers willingness to use the product.
Pharrell Williams seeks $5 million in damages.