Monday, March 19, 2012

Track Checker: Benji "Life is a Struggle"

Put a shirt on already.

It seems like 2012 has been the year of Washington State Rap here at the Tortoise General Blog. We know this is not a good thing. In fact, it's a terrible thing, but what are we gonna do? Change? We can't change. We're here now. I HATE Washington State Rap, so let's try and change. Obama! Today we're going to move east and try to clean things up around here. At least we've got to get out of Washington. So let's go east all the way to Idaho and see what rap is looking like out there. It's gotta be better than Washington right?

So let's start with a rapper named Benji from Lewiston, Idaho. Where? You know LEWISTON. Middle of nowhere. Population 30,000. The main tourist attraction is literally a hill. That place.

So while I'm getting started and gathering information, I'm experiencing something new here as a reviewer...something I don't understand: I'm feeling pity. I don't really want to write a negative review. I haven't heard Benji's music yet, but after looking at his photo and then seeing what city and state he represents, I'm feeling a little depressed. What the fuck can a kid do in Lewiston, Idaho for money? For a career? I mean, there isn't even a highway. Holy shit. I mean, a lot of people have shitty futures where I came up, but at least there were millions of other people near me and we have a lot of highways. What are the jobs in Lewiston?  Agriculture, paper, and timber. And let me add as a guess: Walmart & fast food. Great. Ugh. Hey! You're screwed Benji!

Before we listen to Life is a Struggle I'm going to go ahead and guess that this song is going to suck. Sure, Benji probably has real struggles, but I can't imagine his rhyme game is all that together. He probably hasn't put in the required work. Plus, there's a big difference in artistic output between someone who struggles with his job as  a farmer and someone who is worried about getting shot constantly because they live in the worst imaginable conditions. It is a completely different thing. I'm not saying that someone from Lewiston, Idaho can't rap about the struggles that he is facing, but I am saying that he better be mad creative about it and INNOVATE. Impress. You gotta bring ill rhymes, a new perspective, and you gotta be mad clever son. I don't want to hear your version of New York hip hop, I want to hear dope shit.

So let's go...(you'll have to scroll to it!)...
Oh brother. Dude. I mean, DUDE? What is that? Is the beat stole? Who knows?

I guessed it, the rhymes are awful right from the jump:

"I gotta keep tryin' / stop that cryin'
Live strong 'til you be dyin'
and I be supplyin'/ helpin' all the kids who like fryin'"

It goes on and on like that...for FOUR MINUTES. DUDE you should have never been cryin'. Geez. But not only are the rhymes dumb, the logic is confusing. Late in the song Benji delivers this line:

"I would write a song about my father / he don't deserve more than one line"

Okay, got it. That's crystal clear. Less than one line. Except that the next five lines (at least) are about your father. Say wha? Did you forget already?

And it gets worse, the next portion of the song is dedicated to resolving the conflict between the Bloods and the Crips, which I'm sure are a big problem on the potato farm.

"I ain't no Blood, and I ain't no Crip.
How about we start off and share our perspectives
and then we can kick another puff to help that stressin'" 

Boom! Problem solved. Benji, you should go to California and just get that whole gang situation sorted out. It's a mess down there. Start the perspective sharing, now....WAIT, someone on my staff is telling me that Benji isn't talking about solving the gang problem in those lines, he's just talking about how he can solve some of his personal disputes. OKAY! REALLY? I hope not because that's worse and dumber. Yo! You can't talk shit for an ENTIRE SONG and make a ton of (empty) threats and then talk about problem solving by sharing perspectives. GOOD GRIEF. It's no wonder Idaho hasn't made an impact on the national level: you suck (yeah, the pity is completely gone).
So, the song ends with this:
"That's the end of my song
and one day, my hope's that ya'll be singing along"

Yeah. We'll do that Benji, let's just try that now with the rest of your lyrics on this song...EVERYBODY SING:

"Reppin' the Two-Oh-Eight!
Yeah! Idaho State!
You better not hate!
It' done."

That WAS nice...and such memorable lyrics! Plus, dream-come-true time for you, right? We all sang together. It was beautiful...probably not as beautiful as your town's hill, but was something.

In Conclusion: Benji may be bad at rapping and may not have the best future lined up, but we were able to help him out make-a-wish style. Also, Idaho sucks at rap but it's not as bad as Washington State, and, uh, Benji: step your game up and MOVE AWAY FROM IDAHO...DON'T GO TO WASHINGTON THOUGH. Maybe Utah? I don't know. Whatever. Get a job as an orthodontist or something. Get the paper on a non-rap career path, you might actually be good at not rapping! IDAHO!

Life is a Struggle Score 0/10 

Put some clothes on, Jeez! And What are you doing out there?

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