Monday, March 5, 2012

Yo! Check Out My Cover: Loady in Japan

This is where we review an album cover without listening to the album. Enjoy.

Artist and/or Album: Loady in Japan Deezy Dolla Panda
Available: DatPiff 
Uploaded: July 1, 2011
Listens: 2,456

I know what you’re probably yourself asking right now: “How will I get in touch with Dag Diligent once Google shuts down his gmail account? I mean he’ll probably overload the system with all the hate email he gets for disrespecting on this shit.”

That is a good question! But in my defense, I’ve never heard of anyone involved with this project, and I can’t even decipher the cover…so I don’t even know who I’m disrespecting this time. Honestly, none of the words on this cover belong together. Let’s just take a look at what we’ve got:


What? I mean, WHAT? Uh, you guys (pictured on the cover), is “Loady in Japan” the name of your mixtape or your group, or is the mixtape titled “Deezy Dolla Panda”? They both make an equal amount of sense. Next, what is “Loady”? Slang? I guess, but still…whaaa? Why are you doing that in Japan? MAYBE KEEP YOUR LOADY IN AMERICA? USA! USA! Maybe we should see what "loady" means. Internet, help us's "a person who is a habitual user of alcohol or drugs". Well that's just normal stuff I guess. I think we need more information...let's get more information from the datpiff page. Holla…

Okay, the mixtape title is “Loady in Japan” and the artists are “Panda Vuitton” and “Deezy Dolla”. So that’s sorted out. What a relief, right? Maybe not, we still have the entire cover to deal with.

So, is that Japan in the background? Are Panda and Deezy from Japan? Why does that one guy’s hat say “Kids” and what’s up with his shirt? That doesn’t look like a shirt that you would wear in Japan. Dude. Then we have that other guy in the background. You know, with the dumb hat drinking out of a red cup (sentence structure!). Why aren’t you drinking out of your friend’s Styrofoam cups? He's got plenty. Are/were you at a different party? Do you endorse the wearing of that dolphin shirt? If you do then you lose as much credibility as the wearer. What's the deal with that airplane?

So is this a rooftop party? A rooftop airplane spotting party? Now that’s a good question.

“Yo, Dizzy Dolla, let’s head up the roof and split a few boxes of Chinese food filled with wrapping paper! We can snap a pic for the cover of our loady mixtape and watch the planes fly by.”
“I’m wit it.  Where’s my Sureshot?”
“I don’t know. Yo! Wear your trademark Dolphin tank top and try to look like you’re eating something sour.”
“Done, son.”
“I’ll wear this ski hat I found in the trash and bring my own cup…when you take my picture try to catch me off guard.”
“No problemo. We’re taking it to the top of Japan, baby Panda.”

Oh, was the neon font really necessary? And the airplane?

Dolphin Shirt Score 0/10
Cover Art Score 0/10

No comments:

Post a Comment