Wednesday, January 16, 2013

U-God's Resume #77, "Put It On Me"

--Official Stats--
Artists: The Hillside Scramblers
Song: "Put It On Me"
Producer: Mark Alston
Album: UGODZ-ILLA Presents The Hillside Scramblers
Release Date: March 16, 2004

We're getting close to the end! Finally. This looks like a sex track. "I hope not" - everyone. At least it's produced by someone other than Leatha Face. Maybe it will be good? I fucking doubt it, but it might be. Oh shit, I can't even find this track on must be great!

"Put It On Me"

Put It On Me by U-God/ Autumn Rue on Grooveshark

Wow! QUIZ TIME: WTHell is U-God saying right at the beginning of the track?

a> "I'm telling you. Telling you, telling you...."
b> "Turnin', turnin', turnin...'"
c> "'talian, 'talian, 'talian..." (Like Italian)
d> "Tearin' em, tearin' em, tearin' em..."

"...etty, aity mark mark, they ain't ready man...they ain't ready, they ain't ready, they ain't ready, they ain't ready for this, they ain't ready for me right now know what I mean?"

Well, what's your answer, smart guy? THERE IS NONE. He's talking with gravel in his mouth. Gravel from the street that was kicked up by the street sweeper. He went out to the street, grabbed a cup of gravel, took it inside, put the shit in his mouth, and then did that intro. You know what the funny thing is? It's the best part of the song. AHhaha. Truth. You know what else? He's right. I'm not ready for this.

"You thought it was safe? Uhhhh. Ooooo. Give it to me, give it to me. Uh. Yeah. Now give it to me, give it to me. Bump. Now bump bump. Now bump. Give it to me, give it to me, give it to me, now bump bump bump bump bump..."

HAHAHAH! Great intro. Bump. The best intro ever? The fuck out of here.

Now we get to hear the song, and what a huge change in production quality. Like a million times better than everything else we've heard on this shit so far. But it's still awful. I really hate this. It was clearly supposed to be the radio cut, but I doubt it ever got played. Well, I got played for listening to this. You got played for reading this. Kid N' Play.

What is that music? It's so silky smooth. Like Silk (the milk substitute) pouring into a glass in a commercial. So smooth...but so gross. This is the worst. It's a SELL OUT. A radio cut.

"Let's betray our rugged background for some bullshit" - U-God (and Method Man, on T2: Judgement Day)

I guess the Scramblers aren't good at rugged shit either, so why would the be good at this?

IN CONCLUSION: Another mistake in a long line of mistakes.
Track Score: 0/10
U-God’s Score: 0/10
Impact on Rep (+,-,=): None (nobody heard this)

Next Week: Who cares? We're getting close to the end! Woot!

About this series: “U-God’s Resume" is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.

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