Monday, March 11, 2013

Cash Out "Cashing Out" Training Day

Cool. Everyone in the United States loves the top 40 song "Cashing Out" by the world famous celebrity Cash Out. I mean, let's all just sing along right now:

36 O's so riding round with that nina
Riding with a ho named Keisha, smoking on Keisha
My diamonds talk for me they say "Hi, can I meet you"
G5, how high in the sky, ho I can't see you
Got a condo on my wrist girl, I'm cashing out
Got a condo around my neck girl, I'm cashing out
36 O's so I'm riding round with that nina
My diamonds talk for me they say "Hi, can I meet you"

So fancy. So fun. He says "riding around" and it soudns like "rahrah". That's a boss move. And it's a boss song that we hate (duh). Honestly, it's the worst. El trasho grande. But you don't have to take my word for it...rahrah with dat nina..

See. Cash Out is 'bout it and I don't give a fuck. I hope your rap career fizzles out.

Anyway, this is a big song so I'm sure it's gathered some rookies who jack the beat to lay their weak raps. Hopefully they try to copy that sing-song chorus. Because there is nothing better on earth than rookies trying to sing. Hahaha. I can't wait.

We call this training day, cuz we take rookies who want to ride with the big dogz and give them a little perspective. Also, Cash Out isn't a big dog, he's just a clown that has a radio hit.


Memphis? Stevie Lashea, the walking ATM, brings it under the beat. I can understand about 40% of her raps. Adjust the bass or something. Get closer to the mic? Unfortunately she doesn't try to spit the "rahrah" chorus. "Desiger head to toe, my tee's got logos". Who cares. Not me! Shopaholic can get toasted. Let me ask you something: why are you doing this? Why are you rapping over a wack insturmental on internet video? And then you allow it to be so shitty? Why?

Verdict: Get ya production skillz up.

Next we have Duke from Mississippi with "Smash Out"

This is like my fifth time through a song with this beat and I honestly can't take it any more. It tires me. Fatigues. Bores. However, I am happy to hear that the production is solid this time. Thank you, Duke. Maybe we can be friends?

Yay! Duke tries to bite the sing-song chorus.

"a-ain't no playin' round I got to get it
something something straight from Mississippi
anybody want it they can get it
right now i'm a tell you how I'm fellin'"

Okay! Duke. Dude. I see you rhymed "get it" with "get it", and that's a rookie move. Strike one. Next, your rhymes are very slick, and you talk a lot about "lanes" like a bowler, which is fine. But sometimes I can't understand what you're saying and I think you're rhyming about a donkey. I'm sure that's wrong, but it sounds like it and rapping about donkeys is wack. Strike two.

"I'm staying in my lane donkey one is smashing out"

Is that right? Is that all? Hooray, you're done! So that's only two strikes, your safe at home!

As a side note (and this is nothing against anyone), Duke says "anybody want it they can get it", I understand that this means beef / violence. But it sounds weird. It's even a little a Burger King slogan. 

Pickles: you want it you can get it. - Wendy's

Finally, we'll spin sone D'Biase...and this guy loves to talk about BMW!

This guy opens with a #yourmama joke. So, #respect right there. Big Tyme. This is a humor blog after all. 

This is our second Training Day post, and once again a Rookie comes blows the pro out of the water. Last time we had a rappin' dog literally). This time we've got sappy lyrics from one rapper that are of a higher quality than the original (the first rapper anyway). Cash Out had ZERO good lines. None. D'Baise lead hitter has several. Plus D'Basie has better crew dancing.

We do have a few problems. The last three guys are way too into the sex raps. Calm down bros. One day you'll get married and it won't be a mystery anymore you'll know about the dirty south at that point, and I don't mean a region of the country.

Y'all got more squares up in ya circles than a Waffle House!

So nice? That's a long way to say whatever he's saying. Simplify.

In Conclusion: Nobody on Earth could listen to that beat more than three times through. It's an awful beat. It kind of reminds me of carousel music. You know with the horses that go up and down. Spin around in circles.  Why would anyone rap over this? You're all better than this. All of you. Even Cash Out deserves better. We all do.


P.S. We also have this from Willie Moore Jr., I was going to clap on it, but the little video in the front was charming.

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