Line for Line: Inspectah Deck on "Above The Clouds" by Gang Starr

This post is easy street. All we do is publish the lyrics to a verse that we find particularly dope. Just like how the Source used to publish the hip hop quoteable. Except today you could just do a google for the lyrics.

Today we're featuring Deck's verse from Gang Starr's "Above the Clouds". When this album came out (1998), Gang Starr were considered hip hop elders and had achieved legendary status. While Deck was riding the top of the Wu Tang wave. You might remember that RZA's five year plan ended in 1997 so all of the clansmen were left to fend for themselves at this point (I guess). So we got a lot of guest spots. This is one of the best guest spots of all time.

Deck is easily one of the best spitters in the Clan, and this is just one his best verses. He sounds charged on the Premier beat and apparently remembers who he is rapping next to: the all time pro Guru. So he brought his "A" game.



After spinning that I must say that Guru could have easily got his verse quoted here as well. Not to mention Premier's beat. This song is just three experts working together. Perfect.

So, here is Deck's contribution.

Yeah; I leave scientists mentally scarred, triple extra large
Wild like rock stars who smash guitars
Poison bars from the Gods bust holes in your mirage
and catch a charge shake em down like the riot squad
Invade your zone, ruin like ancient Rome
I span the universe and return to Earth to claim my throne
The maker, owner, plus soul controller
Ayatollah rest in the sky, the cloud's my sofa
Stand like Collossus, regardless to whom or what
Numerous attempts at my life, so who to trust
Who but us, to supply you with the fire?
The burning truth, 150 Absolut proof
On the mic like Moses spoke in golden scribe
Survivor of the oldest tribe whose soldiers died
I notified families, we shed tears and more
but our hands are the ammo cause the battle's still on
Sound the horn; we come rumblin through the function
Precise laser beam technique to touch somethin
When we die hard, to build the monument to honor us with
Humungous effect in the world - we could have conquered it

IN CONCLUSION: Can you get any better than that? No. Beef up your rhymes and get back to me, slackers.

ABOVE THE CLOUDS SCORE 10/10
DECK SCORE  10/10
GURU SCORE 10/10
PRIMO SCORE 10/10

Line vs. Line: Murphy Lee "My Shoes" vs. Ali "Boughetto"

Why yes, this is my new hat Derrty!

Lookin' sleepy Derrty!

Well, well, well.  The legendary Missouri crew 'The St. Lunatics' finally make an appearance in the court of the Turtle General.  Murphy Lee and Ali are both members of Nelly's St. Lunatics crew and stand before me to be judged today. These guys are the worst. Well, maybe not the worst but they are definitely in the running. For those of you who don't know, the St. Lunatics are the crew that Nelly came up with from St. Louis, MO. Nelly has sold like twenty million albums (seriously), and has had some combination of these guys on several of his singles, which means you have definitely heard both Ali and Murphy Lee rap at some point in your life even if you didn't want to. They were on Nelly's Air Force Ones, and they threw that song in the mix at Walmart to attract young affluent shoppers with bad judgement. So you know these guys.

For this post I'm going to skip any attacks on Nelly (since I already gave his album Nellyville a full review and it ruined an entire month of my life) and go right to the second tier Lunatics: Murphy Lee and Ali. Confession time: a few months ago I tried to review Murphy Lee's debut album "Murphy's Law" and I couldn't go through with it. It wasn't that it was bad (it was), it was more like I felt bad for the guy for so obviously trying to cash in on the Nelly fame-wave. The whole experience was just depressing. I had sympathy or empathy or something and I had to stop. So I'm not going to put myself through anything like that again, I'm too fragile. This time I'm just going to look at Murphy Lee's latest single, My Shoes (2008) and compare it to fellow Lunatic Ali's latest single Boughetto (2002). Mono e mono or whatever. Battle!

"But why are you doing this?" you ask nervously.

Well, I'm not a fan of Nelly or the St. Lunatics, they represent the some of the worst commercialization of hip hop ever, they suck, and I love to review bad rap. These singles represent some of the worst out there. Lee's My Shoes came out in 2008, well after the Nelly bandwagon fell apart. So it's a combination of going for a payday, trying to stay relevant, and clinging to a passed fad. As for Ali, his single came out almost a decade ago and it represents a talentless rapper that just got an album because of his association with a multiplatnum artist.  And trust me, this guy has very little talent, hence him not having any albums since 2002.

Well enough typing about that...onward to the rap battle!

Anticipation for the battle.  Wait a minute, where is your mask Slow Down?

"My Shoes"

So we'll start this battle off with Murphy Lee's "My Shoes", there is a version featuring T-Pain, but I don't know if this is that version (or care)...



HOLY CRAP. Those cars look like monster trucks! It IS amazing how real Murphy Lee is and how lame I am. I realize that now. In the song Murphy Lee bets that I "never ever seen wheels shinin like these", he's right: I haven't! I also have "never ever seen kicks change colors like these". What can I say, I'm sheltered and I don't even know what anything in this song means. I DON'T CARE ABOUT RIMS OR SHOES. I wish I had something in my life I loved as much as Murphy Lee loves shoes, but I don't.

Remember Nelly's song Air Force One's? This is the same track basically. IT'S THE SAME EXACT IDEA MURPHY LEE, YOU MEATHEAD. We get it: YOU LOVE SHOES. Shoes! If you ever meet Murphy Lee and have a conversation with him, chances are good that the subject of shoes will come up at some point, even if you are at a funeral, or your kids flute recital, or a gang jump-in. Nike Air. We even get to revisit the idea that I could NEVER find shoes like his, which is a shame I suppose. Er, wait, when he says shoes dies he mean rims? That makes sense in the context of the video KIND OF...or maybe shoes means anything that touches the ground? WHO CARES? AND who would listen to this song anyway? Would you? I know I wouldn't. I hate that singing chorus. I HATE THIS SONG.

CAPITAL LETTERS! 

 "Boughetto"

Now for Ali.  Poor Ali, the second worst in the St. Lunatics crew. Ali is checking in with his single "Boughetto" whatever that means. And don't act like you know because you don't.  Nobody does. What a great idea for a song.


Ali Feat. Murphy Lee - Boughetto by Drunken-Li-Dragon

That was fun wasn't it? Especially when that one guy looks in the microscope and sees the microbes and bacteria shape up like a lady and start dancing all boughetto. Fun. So, I can review this song quickly: boring and forgettable.  Also, is this a McDonald's commercial? What's with that word Boughetto? I see it's defined in the song as "bourgeois and ghetto", so what is bourgeios, professor? That doesn't even look like an American word. What the heck is going on in St. Louis? Then they take it to the next level with "beautif-hetto"! Beautiful and ghetto. Thank goodness they take the time to define the terms otherwise I would be lost like if I went to college or something.

Now, you may have noticed that Boughetto features Ali's enemy for this contest Murphy Lee!  "Foul" you cry, "Is that against the rules? Murphy Lee is kind of in a competition against himself." Well, first of all there are no rules here. Second of all, who cares? SPOILER ALERT: Murphy ruins any song he appears in and so does Ali. I decide how things go here. In a future post I might have Murphy Lee battle only himself, or a tree or something! I am a general after all, I can get things done.  #Slaute (hashtag).

In your defense, Murphy Lee might indeed have figured that some day, some high ranking turtle might have a battle of singles between "Boughetto" and "My Shoes" so he intentionally rapped poorly on this track to improve his chances of winning. I mean he says that he "don't like the hood" whhhaaatttt? I believe it, but I've never heard a rapper say that before. We all know Murphy Lee has expensive taste, after all his rims are the size of a Oregon Trail wagon wheel. He also mentions that some of his friends are at Riker's Island prision.  Hey, that's in New York! Missouri is shipping their inmates all the way to New York? MURPHY LEE, YOU'RE AN IDIOT. You might be right, reader, he is rapping especially poorly, even for a St. Lunatic.

The problem with the idea that Murphy Lee is intentionally rapping bad to ruin the song (and win this contest) is that both rappers do a appalling job behind the mic, meaning that not only did Murphy Lee undermine Ali, Ali undermined himself!  Double jeapordy or something with two bad things.

UH-OH!

FINAL RESULT: Tie for worst?  Nope.  Murphy Lee wins.  Why?  "My Shoes" would lose in a battle against almost every other song ever made (it would even lose against some sounds like crickets or a waterfall), but in the case of "Boughetto" he wins. In the end I don't think Ali really lost though, you and I lost. Hip hop lost. Humanity lost. Mankind lost. Existence lost. Actually, I guess Ali did lose because he had the worst track. And he lost against a song called "My Shoes" so that's really bad. Maybe even the worst kind of loss a human can endure. My sympathy goes out to Ali and his family. You can make it through this. Maybe start rappin about shoes more often...just an idea.



The losers in this contest.


Score: 0/10 for the St. Lunatics, Ali, Murphy Lee, Me, Nelly, and music in general

Yo! Just What You Wanted: Cover Wars! Puff Daddy vs. Looptroop Rockers

Yo! Just What You Wanted: Cover Wars! Puff Daddy vs. Looptroop Rockers

Who wouldn't like this: A WAR!  Better yet: an international war! Even better yet: a hip hop war! U.S.A. versus Sweden. Stars and Stripes versus whatever they have (which is nothing!)! WE WIN. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! WE WIN! Or do we? Yes, this is a hip hop battle, so we should have this in the bag. Sweden is being represented by some weird homeless guys called Looptroop Rockers (LOooOL). BUT, Ol' Glory is being represented by Puff Daddy...In a hip hop battle. Not as happy now are ya?

"But" you say, "Surely Puffy can beat some homeless Swedish at rapping!" Can he? Well, he might have two advantages. The first is that we are not concerned with album content, just album covers! The second is that Puffy has tons of money and can hire the best artists imaginable to take his picture. But Swedish homeless are genuinely hungry, and they aren't as concerned with style, they just want food.  They've crafted their techniques on years of begging.  So yep, I think we're doomed (probably). Glup. Let's meet our contestants: 


First: the man responsible for saying "yeah" and "uh-huh" continuously behind most tracks by the greatest rapper of all time, the Notorious BIG: Puff Daddy!

GULP!

--Official Stats--

Artist: Puff Daddy 
Home Country: United States

Objects: Album Covers

Aliases: All kinds of combinations of Puff, P., Daddy, and Diddy

Affiliations: Bad Boy, The Notorious B.I.G., Ma$e

And his opponents, all the way from Sweden, some homeless hip hopperz called the Looptroop Rockers!

Wait, did Puffy ever have a beard?

--Official Stats--

Artist: Looptroop Rockers
Home Country: Sweden

Objects: Album Covers

Aliases: Who knows?

Affiliations: Gnucci Banana (LOL on whatever that is)

So Let's get to it. Which cover is better:

ROUND 1: Looptroop Rockers "Modern Day City Symphony" vs Puff Daddy "No Way Out"






I've got to give this one to the Looptroops! I know their cover is mostly red and just has an escalator in an abondonded city, but it looks European or something. But Puff's cover really sucks (and always has). It's embarrassing, I mean was it supposed to look like it was printed on a paper bag? Who are those dudes with Puffy? Did they come from a funeral? I don't know. The writing is really fancy but the picture is pitiful. Hey Diddy, fire your art director and let's move on to round two. Rally. Rally. Win win win.


ROUND 2: Puff Daddy "Forever" vs Looptroop Rockers "The Struggle Continues"





This one isn't so easy, is it. Both covers are just appalling. The Looptroops have horrifing people (-100) over a city (+20) with some cool fonts and colors (+20) and tagged jeans (+5). Puffy has, well, a lot of Puffy (-200). Also, a lot of white background, a lot of beanbag, and a lot of arms. We lose again. Another landslide for Sweden. Okay, it's now or never Diddy.


ROUND 3: Looptroop Rockers "Fort Europa" vs Puff Daddy "The Saga Continues..."





Look at Looptroop's cover, anything could beat that. It looks terrible. Nonsense all around: zoo animals, table tennis, rainbows, missles, rocks or something, birds, and a giant gun.  Holy cow, they basically handed this one to Puff. Okay Diddy, bring your 'A' game to these Swedish homeless. Wait, what's that? Your just going with black. Okay, classy, kind of. Kind of like Metallica. Oh, and you want to add white lettering. Are you kidding? Did you give up? You feel like you already lost so you're not trying. Well thanks a lot, you just gave them another point. YOU'RE BEING BEAT BY EUROPEAN HOMELESS. ABBA came from there, you have the advantage of working with one of the best rappers in history. Listen, at least pull it together and score one point. Next time America will reign. Oh wait, you won this one Diddy. Just barely and by default, becasue anything could have beat that rainbow junk.

ROUND 4: Puff Daddy "We Invented the Remix" vs Looptroop Rockers "Good Things"






Finally, the 'A' game. Well, more like the 'C' game (or worse), but we'll take it. Puff your cover is stupid, but not terrible. It's better than most other rap covers. In fact, it's your best one yet. I'm glad to see that you're taking this seriously. Now, let's see what those Looptroop goons have...uh oh. It appears that Looptroop has stepped it up as well and delivered a really good cover. Their best so far. So its best versus best. Who will win? Looptroop. The panel has spoken. It came down to beards, and that one guy could hide his beard in his sleeve. He looks ready to rock the show / throw a brick through a window. Diddy, you look like you are peeking under something or just vomited. So going into the final round it's 3/1 Looptroop. Let's finish strong America.

Final Round: Looptroop Rockers "Professional Dreamers" vs Puff Daddy "Press Play"





I understand that "finish strong" could either mean "do your best" or "phone it in", I see both groups went with the phone it in approach. The Looptroopers cover brings us back to the days of that other cover that anything could beat. Puff brings us back to the days of that all white cover that anything could beat. It's a tie for worst. Actually, Diddy wins for some reason. I hate both covers.


FINAL SCORE:
LOOPTROOP ROCKERS: 3
PUFF DADDY: 2

LOOPTROOP ROCKERS WIN!

SWEDEN! SWEDEN! SWEDEN! Carl XVI Gustaf!

Boy, what a let down. Was there ever any doubt that Puffy would let us down? He's made a career out of let downs. I still love the U.S.A. and all, but sometimes we all get humbled. Thanks a lot Puffy, you BLEW IT! (that's an angry exclamation point, and so are these: !!!!!)

U.S.A. Score: 0/10 thanks to P. Diddy

Yo! That's a Mixtape: Partners !N Crime “Epic Valentines”

Yo! That's a Mixtape: Partners !N Crime “Epic Valentines”

Just...The come up!

Partners !N Crime are six-time mixtape uploaders and Junior Crooners from North Carolina (probably). These guys know that they are amateurs as they cop to it right away in their artist bio.  As a fan of artist bio’s I can say that the one for Partners !N crime  is amusingly confusing.  For one, it has their name as both “Partners In Crime” and “Partners !N Crime”, the second, uh, spelling seems to be the preferred one as they sign their comments with it, yet it is also the most confusing.  Add to that the fact that their album cover identifies them as “P.artners I.n C.rime” AND the fact that they keep using the same cover for each mixtape and you’re locked into a maze with no escape.  Next, their own album cover identifies the members as “Criminal” and “Accomplice” yet the bio might identify Criminal as “LoneWulf Krmininal”, or it might not.  Who can tell? Also, “Just…The come up!” What’s up with that cover anyway fellas?  It dances a fine line between mugshots and sultry sexting. GROSS. But it fits with your teenage love raps.  GROSS.

Alright, so on to the review.  The vocal production on this album sucks horribly (spoiler alert). But the Partners know that, they point out that they need a new mic so they can stop using their webcam mic in a car to record (seriously).  So go get them a mic already,

support real hip hop.  Geez.

Next, ah screw it, I’ll just try to explain everything while I listen to the tracks…

1. Distant Valentine

I’ll give the Partners this: it takes backbone to sample Celine Dion, and these two must have an iron pole for a spine because they take the chorus from “My Heart Will Go On” without flinching. Of course they pitch it up, which makes it sound terrible and whatever is worse than that. 

I could almost see their iron spines the instant I started the mixtape; as I heard that flute from Titanic begin, I also heard the Partners challenging me to turn off the tape.  Daring me.  Double daring me.  But I will not be intimidated, Partners in Crime.  I will go against my instincts and press on to hear your love raps. No surprise, the raps are bad:

“You shine like a star, I can never forget who you are /

You’e always on my mind, through every second in time”

A gem, for sure, but the rapper on the second verse called in reinforcements: himself harmonizing in autotune:

“I can feel a vibe, it’s beatin’ in my heart /

I can feel love even when we are apart /

How can this end if it didn’t even start?/

You might have left my sight but you never left my heart”

Now imagine those lines spit with with the worst mic ever and you can feel this Epic Valentine.

Love!

2. Air I Breathe

Is it an upgrade or a downgrade to move from Celine Dion to Rod Stweart?  Actually, the sample this time is “I Don’t Want To Talk About It” by Mr. Stewart and Amy Belle.  I’ll go ahead and say upgrade even though the beat is still unbearable.  The lyrics are basically the same as the first song: kissing, having a chance, people next to each other, hearts, please come back, etc…

3. Runaway Valentine

I think I’m on to the Partners Mixtape recipe here: uptempo pop piano + pitched up singing + autotune + romantic lyrics = every song.  Okay, so props up front, 15% of the chorus is good (the tight looping), the rest is terrible (that goes for the whole song, not just the chorus).  More love raps, more autotune, etc…

4. Whats Gone Wrong

Is the title a question or a statement?  I’ll start the track summary with the lyrics that kick off the track: “I sit here, spit shit off the top of the dome / My heads not clear, wishin’ I had whatever / sippin’ on that Everclear (Everclear) / the end is close, but the futures never here”.  Awkward right?  That’s how the whole song is.  Thanks to the magic of computers, the beat is crystal clear while the sound quality of the lyrics is unbearable.  In the first verse the lyrics are way too loud, the second verse is too quiet, and third verse swings between the two (and there is at least one more verse).  Anyway.  So “Whats Gone Wrong”: the rapping talent and the vocal production.  I guess that's what happens when you're making your songs while having to pass the webcam mic and not damage the upholstery in the Neon.

5. Die Another Day…

The James Bond crossover you’ve been hoping for!  The boys look beyond Celine Dion and Rod Stweart this time and go for a Madonna line from the soundtrack to the feature film Die Another Day.  Good night, this is some uptempo club vomit.  The love raps are few and far between here, this time it’s standard “we’re the best” raps mixed with some “hate on the haters”.  Listen, partners, you can't have one "hard" song in the middle of five love songs, it just doesn't work.  Especially when your hard lines come about as hard as the love songs.  LEARN TO RAP OR GET OUT OF THE CAR KIDS!

6. LoL, Love…

Back to the love raps, but I don’t know about LoL.  Now, the partners would have you believe that this is a hate rap since they basically say that.  They’re mad that some girl left them so they are making a song about how LOL it is. Nothing is making me laugh here, in fact just the flow is making me double over in pain.  What is this blood?  I’m coughing up blood!  LOL!  This song sucks LOL!  Get a new topic LOL! Love! LOL.


Uh oh, here comes your mom:

“Hey Criminal, were you using my Neon to rap again? No? Then why is there spit all over the windshield?  Spilled Mountain Dew everywhere!   I told you to stop hanging out with Accomplice.  He's a bad influence, always talking about love. Get a girlfriend.  WAIT! Did you break my webcam?” – Criminal’s mom.

Epic Valentines suffers in several categories: the most obvious is a complete lack of quality in vocal production mixed with light autotune use.  This problem is so severe that it detracts from the lyrical content, but I wouldn’t worry about that unless you like to jam to teenagers moaning about pedestrian girl problems: crushes, love, dating, and breaking up.  Add to that bad rhymes, bad flows, and  poorly produced beats which sample Madonna and Titanic and you’ve discovered an unbearable mixtape, partner.

I’ll leave you with this: one comment made by Criminal (I think) reads:

“Our second Mixtape, Just note hoe much better we get, in such a short amount of time...More to come Soon”

Hoe much better Indeed.

Score: 0/10

Trackmasters - Nas "Nas Is Like"

Trackmasters - Nas "Nas Is Like"

--Official Stats--

Artist: Nas
Title: "Nas Is Like"
From Album: "I Am..."

Release Date: March 2, 1999
Producer: DJ Premier

Aliases: Nasty Nas, Escobar

Affiliations: The Firm, Queensbridge

You and I already know who Nas is so there is no reason to go into all of that, is there?  

I was introduced to Nas thanks to Rap City occasionally playing his "The World Is Yours" video.  I was impressed, but not enough to buy his debut album Illmatic.  As time passed and it became apparent that Nas was dope through his hundreds of guest verses on hot songs I built up the courage to buy It Was Written despite the "If I Ruled The World" video, which was on MTV almost all day everyday.  I really liked the album (and still do), so I went back and picked up Illmatic and was both blown away and kicking myself for not buying it sooner.  This was in 1996. 

Years passed, I wasted some money on The Firm (but I blamed big business for that mess), and finally in March of 1999 I found the single for "Nas Is Like" in my neighborhood Sam Goody, PAID FOR IT (this was 1999), and loved it.  Nas was back!  And at that time he had never really gone away. Just a month later I went in to pick up Nas' third album I Am and this is what I saw:

HOLY CRAP!  ART SCORE: 0/10

Any normal person would pass on an atrocity like that just based on, well everything.  Gold, Egyptian, creepy, etc.. But, being a fan (and an idiot) I bought it anyway.  I sat in a parking lot near the Tower Records on South Street (in Philly) listening to this album and being disappointed immensely. I instantly knew the ranking (which is still true today):

The album is officially awful (you can find a good review of it by my friend Max here).  It is so bad they made an announcement that the President of the United States, Bill Clinton, had declared it a disaster area, and the public rallied together and helped Nas sell over two million copies of his shitty album in the national interest (a definite stab wound to hip hop).  Thank goodness this wasn't a double LP like it was originally intended.  


So anyway, as sticking with my tradition of too much typing, I can now get to my review of ONE SONG: "Nas Is Like" is good.  Done.  Actually I think this song is significant in several ways. First, it is one of the few REAL Nas songs that dropped in the six years between It Was Written and Stillmatic.  Second, the lyrics are veteran level. I'm not even going to quote the good lines because the whole track is good.  Do you want me to just post all the lyrics?  Do you?  I didn't think so.  Finally, the beat is EPIC.  DJ Premire tapped his premium resources for this one.  He blends in some of his trademark chorus/scratching to keep the track sick, then he pulls from the oddest of sources for the beat: Christmas narration.  Primo, you're a genius, and also, where do you dig up this stuff?  From what crates?  In the end, the final project is DOPE INFINITY, meaning a 7/10 (not his best work but better than almost anyone else could do).  So.....COP THIS.


The sample (Primo, you crazy for this one):

And the official Jawn...




If you don't like this one, you're demoted to Private.  In fact, get out of my Army.

Score: 7/10

Line for Line: GZA on "Stick Me For My Riches" by the Wu Tang Clan

 Line for Line: GZA on "Stick Me For My Riches" by the Wu Tang Clan

GZA: Snap Pack Official

--Official Stats--

Artist: Genius/GZA

Title: "Stick Me For My Riches"

Album: "8 Diagrams"

Release Date: December 11, 2007

Aliases: Maximillion, Allah Justice

Affiliations: Wu Tang Clan, DJ Muggs, Bill Murray

So for this blog I've been trying to bring my 'A' game on Mondays, and just dump my shit on Thursdays.  So far so good, except that Mondays have been shit as well.  So this post will be the worst one yet!  Read on!


All I'm going to do here is post the lyrics to a verse which I find particularly dope.  There are many of them, but for this week I'm going with the verse and track mentioned above.  Now, GZA has tons of clever and fantastic verses and this one certainly isn't his best, but it's up there.  This track is great overall, but it's very atypical for the Clan, yet I think it works as it's own beast.  It has a lot going for it: production and vocals by the RZA, and decent beat and hook, and verses by Meth, Deck, and GZA.  Nice.  But why does GZA's verse stand out in his career of good verses?  Because it's dope you dummy.


Basically, the RZA sets up the verse with this line:

"GZA tell them what is life..."

Now that's a big assignment.  Imagine if he asked you to do that at the start of your verse.  You would freeze, as would I.  Not the Genius though, he answers and answers well.  He gives a general description of LIFE ITSELF in one verse.  Amazing!  Check this: 

RZA:

"Slice and dice, men or mice, GZA tell 'em what is life..."

GZA:
"Hey Yo! Money making, people flaking, Cash Rules, fuck the bacon
Earths quaking, head is aching, bank stop, dice shaking
Times are hard, so are jobs, scheming niggas wanna rob
Use a hoe to slob ya knob, hit you with unruly mobs
Stab you in the back and smile, watch you bleed for awhile
Hating on the agile, steal ya name and bite ya style
Hold you for a ransom note, Goliath cutting David's throat
Grab ya vest, abandon boat and leave you out at sea to float"

What can I say?  Nothing.  Which is exactly what you should be saying.  Now, if you disagree with me and say "This verse?  I think not."  Then I want to see YOU write a verse half as good describing life.  You can send it to me at dagdilignet@gmail.com.  Do it.  I'll post it, then we can have a vote or something.  Trust me, you ain't e-mailing me anything.  Hang it up.  GZA won dope verse of the "everything you think is important".

It also should be noted that Deck's verse on this track is insanely good as well...but I'll save that for another lazy post.


Score: 10/10

Fire the Art Director!

Yo! Just What You Wanted: Wu Rankings

Okay!  This is the dumbest post in the history of the United States of America!  I know we're a young country, but that’s not the point.  The point is why are you reading this? Seriously.  Go out and dig a drainage ditch or something to benefit your farm, help your community.

You’re still here! Wwwhhhaaaatttt???

For this amazing post I'm going to rank the 10 members of the Wu Tang Clan in 1997 (at the end of RZA’s 5 year plan). Then I'll take it a step further and rank them today (15 years later).  We'll answer this question: what's happened in my opinion?  Hint: Win for you (not for U-God).  



Ranking Score: 2/10

Trackmasters - J. Cole "Enchanted"

Trackmasters - J. Cole "Enchanted"

My mixtape of the year: 2010

Official Stats:

Artist: J. Cole
Title: "Enchanted"

Uploaded to DatPiff: 11/12/2011
Listens: 775,000

Affiliations: Jay-Z, Omen, Fayetteville

This is going to be really short. First, J. Cole is my favorite new artist, his two major release mixtapes have been amazing.  His first (and often pushed back) real album Cole World has promise and BETTER BE GOOD OR ELSE...SERIOUSLY THIS BETTER BE GOOD.  Anyway, one of my favorite tracks off of Friday Night Lights is called "Enchanted" and features Chicago small-time MC Omen (who holds it down by the pound).  So the reason for this post is this: when I hear this track (which is a lot) I always think of the novelty song "Inner City Pressure" by Flight of the Conchords.  This isn't anything against Mr. Cole, both tracks are good in their own way, it's just odd.  For this post, I'm just putting the two songs side by side so you can be the judge if they have similar music (esp. the synthesizers):

J. Cole "Enchanted":

Flight of the Conchords "Inner City Pressure":

Maybe not, I don't know. Or care.

OH: If you haven't heard many J. Cole tracks, check for him.  And if you haven't seen Flight of the Conchords, you'd better see it (if you like jokes that are funny).

Score: 10/10
Comparison Score: 6/10

We Got Something New: J. Cole "See It To Believe It"

We Got Something New: J. Cole "See It To Believe It"

You may or may not know that I'm a J. Cole fan, who cares if you do or don't?  I don't.  Or maybe I do.  Here is a new track, decent (as usual).  I've heard some of these lines before, but I'm not concerned.

Score: 7/10

Trackmasters: Meyhem Lauren "Queens"

Trackmasters: Meyhem Lauren "Queens"

--Official Stats--

Artist: Mayhem Lauren
Title: "Queens"

Aliases: Mey
Affiliations: See Below

I'll start off by saying that I'm probably going to come across like a jerk with this song review, so let me be clear up front: Meyhem Lauren is a solid MC with a bunch of really good tracks.  I genuinely like his music.  However, I am not a fan of the "bio" portion of his website, why? See for yourself:

1. He identifies himself as a "street savvy Queens-bred wordsmith in his mid twenties". I don't really care about his age (unless he's in his early teens or qualifies for the senior discount at Denny's).  His street savviness is somewhat important, but let's be serious: the "wordsmith" part is all that really matters, and that comes across in the rhymes.

2. He "continues to make pure uncut music for the street" with a style "reminiscent to Hip Hop's golden era". Good, because that's my favorite. Don't stop.

3. "Prior to picking up the mic, Meyhem was mainly known for getting fresh and getting money".  That's the same as me!  Except my bio would read "Prior to picking up the computer, Dag was mainly known for working at K-Mart".  So, a little different, I guess.

4. He came up working with all of these guys: "Ghostface Killah, Kool G Rap, M.O.P., Cormega, Large Professor, AZ, Theodore Unit, Killa Sha, Tragedy Khadafi, Cappadonna, Old Dirty Bastard, Roc Marciano, and Thirstin Howl III, Timeless Truth, Jay- Steele, Animal, Bagz Lo, and Take It". Further, he's about to drop some real heat (meaning a mixtape) called Self Induced Illness featuring these guys: "Kool G. Rap, Raekwon, J-Love, Killa Sha, Thirstin Howl III, Action Bronson, Gab Gacha, Roc Marciano, The Outdoorsmen, and Timeless Truth." AND these guys: "J-Love, PF Cuttin, N. Plated, Thorotracks , R. Thentic, Shakim Allah, Anger Bangers, Terminill, Bluntologist, Tyme, Artoffica, Cut Master Extraordinaire Supa Dave, and Just Blaze." WOW!  But it’s not over, he's also working on his first solo LP tentatively titled MEY-DAY which will feature all of these guys: "Just Blaze, J-Love, Large Professor, PF Cuttin, Ayatollah, Shakim Allah"! You know what they say about too many cooks.  Oh wait, there is something else dropping soon which will feature:"Nickel Plated, Krumb Snatcha, Blaq Poet, NYG'Z, and The Outdoorsmen”.  I noticed that a lot of names were repeated but still, that's a lot of people.  I don't even know that many people and I'm on Twitter.  Name dropping much?

5.  "Hip Hop connoisseurs, record labels, and producers should all keep their eyes peeled for Meyhem Lauren...2009 is the official start of the Meyhem takeover." Go ahead and give this line an update when you get the chance, Mey.

Why does this Bio exist?  Why did our friend Meyhem add this to his site?  Is this common with MCs out there?  Do rappers even have websites? What am I talking about, anyway?  Oh yeah, I caught the song "Queens" on the radio and really like it, check it out.  And somehow give Meyhem some money so he can keep doing his thing.  But don't give him too much money otherwise we might have another Jay-z on our hands (and we don't want that).  Anyway, best of luck Meyhem Lauren, keep making dope tracks and get rid of that Bio!

"Queens"


A bunch of other tracks: http://www.meyhemlauren.com/audio.php



Score: 9/10

The text of the original bio:

Meyhem Lauren is a street savvy Queens-bred wordsmith in his mid twenties. He represents a genre in Hip Hop that is currently on the verge of extinction. While most artists of today compromise to industry standards, Meyhem continues to make pure uncut music for the street.

His style is reminiscent to Hip Hop's golden era. A major factor that separates Mey from other artist in this category is the fact that he can rhyme about anything and still keep his identity. Several lyrically inclined artists’ still make quality music... the problem with these artists is that many of them are one dimensional.

Prior to picking up the mic, Meyhem was mainly known for getting fresh and getting money. A lot of rappers talk about living fast, luxurious name brand clothing, street life, etc... In reality many of them never had jewelry, exclusive footwear, or even a home of their own before signing a record deal. This is far from the case for Meyhem. To sum it up, he has been viewed as legendary figure long before he even thought of writing rhymes.

Meyhem's debut appearance was on the DJ J-Love's "King of What I Do" part 6 mix tape in 2004. Since then he has been on numerous other mix tapes and DVDs. Meyhem Lauren's music is already on frequent rotation in various Hip Hop radio shows. The main shows that have shown support are: NYU's Halftime Radio show, WKCR's Squeeze Radio, Sirius Satellite Wax 40 Pure Amazement Show, The Dirty Hour, Industry Shakedown Radio as well as The Extravagangsta Radio Show. After being on the mixtape scene and working closely with J-Love for a few years "The Mixtape King" invited Meyhem to join him on an album that he had already started composing titled "Acknowledge Greatness". On that project Meyhem and J-Love both shared the mic on a quest to bring

New York City street

rap back to its essence. Tracks were recorded with legendary lyricists such as Ghostface Killah, Kool G Rap, M.O.P., Cormega, Large Professor, AZ, Theodore Unit, Killa Sha, Tragedy Khadafi, Cappadonna, Old Dirty Bastard, Roc Marciano, and Thirstin Howl III. The album also featured brand new talent from artists such as Timeless Truth, Jay- Steele, Animal, Bagz Lo, and Take It. Shortly after the album was released die hard hip hop fans embraced it and reviewed it as an underground classic.

Meyhem is currently working on numerous highly anticipated projects. First is a long overdue street album titled "Self Induced Illness" This project is a two disc collection of works which will consist of unreleased Meyhem songs and will feature artist such as Kool G. Rap, Raekwon, J-Love, Killa Sha, Thirstin Howl III, Action Bronson, Gab Gacha, Roc Marciano, The Outdoorsmen, Timeless Truth, and more. Featured producers on this glorious venture include J-Love, PF Cuttin, N. Plated, Thorotracks , R. Thentic, Shakim Allah, Anger Bangers, Terminill, Bluntologist, Tyme, and Artoffical. Other contributions to the "Self Induced Illness" mix tape include scratches by Cut Master Extraordinaire Supa Dave and Rocafella Records beat smith Just Blaze.

These projects will be followed by a Meyhem solo LP titled "MEY-DAY" which is currently being recorded. The album features production by Just Blaze, J-Love, Large Professor, PF Cuttin, Ayatollah, Shakim Allah and many more.

Also set to drop is a mix tape Titled "Project Meyhem" that will consist of Meyhem Lauren verses over classic hip hop instrumentals. "Project Meyhem" will also feature rare Meyhem interviews and freestyles. Another project in the works is a mixtape with all original music produced primarily by an up and coming producer by the name of Nickel Plated, This project will feature artists such as Krumb Snatcha, Blaq Poet, NYG'Z, The Outdoorsmen and more. Hip Hop connoisseurs, record labels, and producers should all keep their eyes peeled for Meyhem Lauren...2009 is the official start of the Meyhem takeover.