Kendrick Lamar "Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe (Remix JAY Z)"

This is the song where Kendrick Lamar RIPs Jay-Z. Bodies. DOAs. Whatever.

You can call me a Kendrick Lamar fan...I'll accept that label. You can also say that I respect Jay-Z, but at the same time, the last time I thought he killed it was when "In My Lifetime, Vol. 1" dropped, after that it's been all downhill. Like skiing.

Anyway. One of Kendrick's standout tracks is "Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe". It's a perfect song. literally perfect. If you make a song like this, you don't fuck with it. Just put it out there and let it be. Here it is.






See. That's some laid back shit with masterwork on both production and lyrics.

So what is the worst thing that could happen to this song? Why not bring in Jay-Z for a guest.


Why is this a terrible idea?? First of all, like I already said, the track is perfect. It doesn't need anything else. Second, Kendrick kills it all by himself. He holds this shit down and anyone trying to hang is just going to get steamrolled. Third, this sounds like a Kendrick Lamar track, it has all his elements that nobody else has. If you try to hang on this track, you're going to look like a biter. So, this track is a minefield, if any other MC sets foot on it, they're going to die a humiliating death.

Now, whoever came up with this idea clearly knew that this would be a tough track to guest on, but they wanted to get Kendrick some sales so they went big. The biggest. Jay-Z. Everyone loves Jay-Z, and he should be lyrically talented enought to keep up with a rookie like Kendrick , right? WRONG.






Right away I noticed that Kendrick went off topic for the remix, I think he's trying to set up his guest (Mr. Z). Anyway, it sounds a little flat until he starts bringing up other MCs and then it turns to fire. A+ level lyrics. Then we have Jay-Z.

Jigga.

Dude sounds so out of touch with reality that I can't believe that he still moves units. Who buys this shit?

"Up in the clouds, me and my spouse"

Ugh. So weak. Then he has the Kendrick Lamar echo thrown onto his voice and it sounds like biting. A fucking old rich dude rapping about having cocktails on a private jet and hanging out with the former Secretary of state. "I'll buy a song about that" - all the kids (but not me). He's like the Mitt Romney of rap, rich, elderly, and out of touch.

Just look at what Jay-Z said in his famous '47%' quote:

"There are 47 percent of the people who like real hip hop no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who recognize real, who are dependent upon the underground, who believe that real music is a victim of the mainstream, who believe the artists have a responsibility to drop dope tracks, who believe that they are entitled to decent lyrics, to ill beats, to hard shit, to you-name-it. ... My job is not to worry about those people. I'll never convince them they should just accept commercial rap as hip hop." - Jay-Z in a secret recorded something something...

What a mess.

Fortunately, Kenny comes back in just stabbing. Every line is tough. I think he knew that he had to clean up Jigga's mess, so he borught a mop...and mopped the floor with Jay-Z.

In the end, Jay is killed by his host. KILLED. He's out of touch lyrically. He sounds like a biter. He sounds like a phony. So he gets murdered. Dead. Without a trace. In fact, please remove Jay-Z from the Jay-Z remix. Thank you.

 
BITCH, DON'T KILL MY VIBE SCORE 10/10
BITCH, DON'T KILL MY VIBE (JAY-Z REMIX) SCORE 7/10
BITCH, DON'T KILL MY VIBE (JAY-Z REMIX) SCORE WITHOUT JAY-Z 10/10

Line for Line: Jay-Z "44 Four's"

When I was putting my recent "Tribe Called Quest" post together last week it occurred to me that I have never written a proper review of anything by Jay-Z for this site. I wrote some dumb jokes about a promo picture for Watch the Throne, and I've written things for other sites, but nothing for my own blog. It's high time that changed, friend.

I think my experience with Jigga matches that many of many true hip hop heads: I was put off by the first song I ever heard from him which was on BET and called "Ain't No Playa". So I decided to pass on Jay-Z until I was introduced to "Friend or Foe", and then I accepted Reasonable Doubt into my collection. After that, I stayed with Jay until about Hard Knock Life, and then I lost interest (for the most part). Every now and then I would check in Jay, and I still bought his albums, but for the most part I thought he had lost it. I still think that. Today I appreciate his technical abilities, but I wouldn't consider myself a fan. I think this chart that I made for the Smart and Angry Blog sums it up (it has some Kanye stuff in it too, ignore that):

But what does this have to do with my Tribe called Quest post? Well, while I was thinking about Tribe's song "Can I Kick It?", I was reminded of Jay's song "22 2's" since it uses almost the same chorus. I never liked the J song. Sure, he uses Tibe's chorus "Can I kick it?" and waits for the crowd to call back "yes you can", and that's all good. I considered it a sign of respect and no big deal, except that Jay didn't include the end of the chorus, the "GO OOOON THEN". Which still drives me nuts. But I still appreciated the lyrics to 22 2's. Yeah, he says "to" or "two" or "too" a lot. That takes planning and is pretty good rapping. But I wouldn't call that song out as anything special since I loath the chorus, but this version of "44 4's", his more recent update, hits this shit on the head, mainly because he pulls the beat from the original song and get's all technical with it. He even starts with a callback to the original "22 2's", then it get's good.

Let's kick it. Go on then...

 


See? Nobody can deny that Jay knows his stuff. Especially with his 44 4's shit. He does say "four" or "for" a lot! Mad technical skills. This is a lot better than 22 2's, it's very good. Classic.

roc-a-fella 4 ever, Hov 4 life

first debut classic, first album 4 mics

i shoulda got a five but n*ggas lacked 4sight

but i don’t give a fuck, i ain’t do it 4 the hype

i did it 4 the hustlas, 4 the ghetto, 4 their plight

4 the struggle, 4 those who bubble white,

4 fly 4×4s, roofless cars, flawless ice,

4 the pain so y’all can feel what it’s like

4 all the times it rained 40 days 40 nights

4 all the promise made that never came to the light

i get my own 40 acres:

give me 4 nights, 4 o’s, a glock .40 4 the jackers and i’m spike

4 the .44 will suffice

a 14 year-old to look out 4 the vice

and y’all can sit back and just wait 4 the flight

ya boy’ll take off like i been strippin’ all my life

that’s the type of meta4s I write

to let n*ggas know I was real b4 the mic

4 front rows had the fur at the fight

no PETA on my peter left some room 4 the divas

in a suite we’ll meet ‘em if you wild 4 the night

i’m on the rampage champagne pours on the floor

4 all those who ain’t make it here and lost they life

i’ll never 4get y’all 4 any price

not 4 no hoes, not 4 no ice, not 4 no fame,
nor 4 bright lights

so i’ma end this here this fly ass kite

44 4’s MUTHAFUCKA I’M NICE!!!!!

IN CONCLUSION: I call Jay on his bullshit a lot. And I wouldn't ever call him the nicest. But the boy older gentleman can spit. This is the proof.

44 4'S SCORE 9/10

Philadelphia Freeway Represents Us All

Isn't that the way life works, suckaz? As soon as I diss something on Twitter (which I often do), I find something of value in the that thing I dissed. In this case it was a stupid slideshow by "Complex" magazine where people do "hilarious" photobombs. Lol? Not quite. Anyway, one of their photos was for Jay-Z on his "Made In America" promotional tour. Looks like fun: take pictures with rich guys who clearly love your music. Well Freeway is up there too, and his attitude really represents how we all feel about everything...

So we have Jay-Z doing his work, selling his brand or whatever, and Freeway is seperated from the situation. Like he is saying what we all say: I wat to seperate myself from the "business" side of rap. Then, his attitude is like "Fuck this shit", which is what we would all say. Plus, Freeway used to be tight with J, and now he is stepping away as J enters the business world. I am doing the same thing. A picture is worth a thousand words right?

IN CONCLUSION: Nice Job Freeway. Uh, live long and prosper.

FREEWAY SCORE 9/10

Get Stupid: "No Church in the Wild" Jay-Z and Kanye West

So predictable subversive .

Hi! Do you love religion? No? Yes? Same with us, I guess. It depends on what you answered. Today we're going to put our toe in the lake of religion and not make anyone mad at all! So fun. Religion! High-five.

Recently I was watching the hit film "Safe House" and it was kind of bad but it was still Denzel Washington! So not that bad. But still, it also had Ryan Renolds, and this movie was more Ryan Renolds than Denzel Washington. So, that's my review of Safe House. Anyway, over the end credits they decided to play the hit song "No Church in the Wild" by Kayne West and Jay-Z. Everyone's favorite? Frank Ocean - America's favorite singer, 2012! He's in it! It had a lot of buzz when that Throne junk came out and we all rushed to Target to get our copy right away.

Since then, I've listened to this song about six times and every time I think:

"This is a normal song but not that good!" 

I've probably heard the song so few times because I don't really like it. In fact, except for that RZA track, I DON'T LIKE WATCH THE TRONE OR JAY-Z OR KANYE. For me, Jay-Z AND Kanye West both fall into the "PASS" category because they're out-of-touch millionaires that make music that sounds like it's custom made for people to buy...and they rap about shit I don't relate to. Millionaire shit. "Oh hez #hatin'"-you on Twitter. I'm not hating, I'm just not enjoying the music because if I want to hear people boast about their possessions I can check out my teenage son's X-Box game collection.

Everyman West

What were we talking about again? Oh, the song. The beat is kind of cool and also kind of boring, and the rapping is kind of normal, Jay-Z is kind of trying to be a college professor, and Kanye is just talkin' bout the ladies (as usual). No Dice and also, no big deal. I never listened to this shit because there is a lot of better music out there. But apparently you liked it and so did everyone else.

Now, I want to get to that chorus. Here it is:

"Human beings in a mob
What’s a mob to a king?
What’s a king to a god?
What’s a god to a non-believer?
Who don’t believe in anything?"

So let's answer those questions:

1. What's a mob to a king? WHO CARES
2. What's a king to a god? Just another person.
3. What's a god to a non-believer?

This is the stupidest fucking question ever. You tryin' to be smart, Watch the Throne? Eat a dump. What's a god to someone who does not believe in anything? I'm not trying to be a theist or an atheist here (we have both on the Tort Team), but you answered your own question, dumbass. Let me just change up the question a little bit: What's a car to to someone who does not believe in anything? Answer: it's a car that someone doesn't believe in, but it's still a car - it's existence is assumed in the question, you said it. What's a king to a non-believer? What's a mob to a non-believer? Still a king. Still a mob. It's the dim way you're phrasing the question, stupid.

Q: What's a god to a non-believer?

A: A god that is not believed in by one guy, but still a god. DUH.



Joke about BUTLERS, or joke about PANTS?


The way that question is asked ruins the point. I GET IT: in the wild, something about nothing to fall back on, something, something, religion is archaic. Who cares? A god to a non-believer might not be important, but still, you're saying "what is a thing that exists to a person who doesn't think that thing exists?".  So dumb. Let's do it AGAIN "What is a Leprechaun to someone who doesn't believe?". See? A LEPRECHAUN. Actually, let's flip that question around: what's a non-believer to a god? An idiot.

IN CONCLUSION: Jay-Z and Kanye West trying to get all religious or anti-religious or whatever.  They're getting "deep" and it turns out to be stupid. Boys, you're in over your head. And that video? Dudes. Were you even in the video? I guess the logical thing to do at this point is try to phrase the question correctly, but I'm not that smart. I can smell bullshit pretty easliy, but I can't write a fucking well phrased question. Get bent you goof ass nerds.

No Church in the Wild Score 2/10
Phrasing of the Chorus Score 0/10


The Idle Rich
Voice of the People



#NP Dope Cuts 1

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I'm doing something new. Instead of filling up Twitter with a bunch of #NP tags that nobody cares about and Twitter just doesn't need (it's full of them and they're mostly dumb like #NP KISS or some DUMB SHIT. Trust me I ain't #NPing KISS or anything like that ever. Maybe from my bodybag lol...like "#NP KISS & RIP ME!". Anyway, KISS IS THE WORST, THEY'RE LIKE ICP FAKERS AND ICP IS DEFINITELY THE WORST EVER). WTFlip was I talking about? I have no idea. OH YEAH THIS POST. I'm just going to post a few dope tracks (of the month I guess). I'm not going to write anything up or rank them or anything, they're all the best. I'll just post the track or the link, whatever. U KNOW  d d d o o o p p p e e e tracks. That's it. Dope. So to the people who keep asking "You don't even listen to rap and you hate everything what do you like?" This is my answer. I like this. I like all of this a lot and so should you...

"Life is Hard"

DJ Absurd (feat. Armageddon, Trife Da God, & Blaq Poet)

Dj Absurd "Life Is Hard" feat. Armageddon, Trife Da God & Blaq Poet-HHB by kwer

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"I Don't Care"

Vast Aire (feat. Cappadonna)

Vast Aire featuring Cappadonna - I Don't Care by Hypetrak

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"The Master Builder Vol. 1" (Mixtape)

Blacastan

Download Mixtape | Free Mixtapes Powered by DatPiff.com

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"New Day"

Jay-Z & Kanye West

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"Hip Hop Manual"

Cold Heat (feat. Craig G & DJ JS-1)

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"Inception"

Anthem

Anthem - Inception (Jamandahalf.com) by jamand1/2

"Fall Back"

A-Y

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"Elmatic"

Elzhi

Download Mixtape | Free Mixtapes Powered by DatPiff.com

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"Two Kings"

Freeway (feat. Tek)

Freeway Featuring Tek - Two Kings by USRapNews

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LIFE IS GOOD. BLAP BLAP.

All these track deserve a full write up. Stay tuned for next month's Dope Cuts 2.

Elsewhere Online: Jay-Z & Kanye West "Watch the Throne" Pre-Review

Elsewhere Online: Jay-Z & Kanye West "Watch the Throne" Pre-Review

Fun for everyone!

Sometimes I like to steal cars in my own city and sometimes I like to get away from the Atlanta PD* and steal some cars in someone else's city (like Myrtle Beach, SC or whatever). Well today I'm in someone else's city: The Smart & Angry Blog and I'm not stealing cars, I'm writing pre-reviews of "The Throne's" upcoming album "Watch the Throne". It's a good blog and a good post. Thanks to my associate in blog Justa Just for the opportunity, I'm sure we'll be connecting again but we won't be calling ourselves some dumb shit like "The Throne". CHECK IT OUT!

*Neither this blog nor the Smart & Angry blog have anything to do with car theft or Atlanta, run and tell that.

Yo! That's Your "Watch the Throne" Photo

The Worry is Over!

What's up with "Watch the Throne"? Well, I understand that it's coming out soon at some point? As proof, on Jay-Z's Life + Times website we can see that the boys (Jay-Z and Kanye West) are hard at work and have appropriately set the mood with crystal wine glasses, 1-800-Flowers bouquets, Apple II's, and candles (of course becasue of romance, right?). If you were worried that this album might be too much of a departure from the boy's origins fear not, this is the same scene you'll find in inner cities the world over. The plight of the impovrished: laptops and mood lighting. We can all relate! This is just a down to earth way to work. We can all see our reflection in this picture. Now, are you going HAM at Yankee Candle. No? You're a lame. Get some candles and get on your 1-800-Flowers.com grind.


Mood Score: 10/10

Elsewhere Online: Jay-Z "Unplugged" Full Review

Elsewhere Online: Jay-Z "Unplugged" Full Review

During the day I work as the senior editor here at Tortoise General Blog.  It’s a grueling job with deadlines and staff problems and research and whatever, so sometimes I like to just get back to my roots and review real hip hop albums. I am very fortunate to have my full album reviews published on the great Hip Hop Isn’t Dead Blog, and today my colleague Max has posted my full review of Jay-Z’s Unplugged album.  Check it out!