OFWGKTA Mysteries: TCOOSHW

Odd Future Mysteries: The Case of Old Salem's Halloween Witch 

Your favorite Rap Crew Returns in your (least) favorite blog series!

Fans of Odd Future know that they typically host large celebrations for the holidays, and not just for Christmas and Easter, but for all the holidays - especially Halloween. As is the Odd Future tradition, they did a special Halloween costume show in Salem, Massachusetts for a friend of Taco’s named Alma who just inherited a club there. It was a great concert and all the crew dressed up like their favorite U.S. presidents. Frank Ocean dressed as JFK, Mike G was FDR, and Tyler, the Creator went as John Adams (of course, his favorite). They did all their best songs and rocked the party as always.  Once the show ended and the crew was cleaning up the stage, they were interrupted by the door slamming. A panicked young woman had entered, pale with fear, and out of breath from running.

Domo Genesis Tries to Help

"What’s wrong?” asked Domo Genesis, still wearing his Harry Truman costume.

The woman answered, “The witch! She’s back!”

Syd the Kyd rolled her eyes, not this again, she thought. But the woman looked terrified so Syd the Kyd asked for more information. “That old witch was out in the colonial cemetery just now…where they buried the witches from the trials over 200 years ago. That old witch Marta Jones, she’s come back to haunt us…she glows with anger.”

The team doubted her story but promised to help. They decided to see Taco’s friend Alma and ask for more information. But as they were walking to Alma’s house they ran into a police officer who was attaching a sign to a tree in Alma’s yard which simply read “WITCH!”. The officer warned them to stay away, that Alma was frequently possessed by the old Salem witch, and that she would take on a frightening glow. Taco didn’t believe it, he’d known Alma for years, but she wasn’t at the club during the last witch sighting, so maybe something was going on. They went inside despite the warning.

"It's getting kinda late" - Tyler, the Creator

Alma told them that she had never seen the witch. The young woman was one of many townspeople who claimed to frequently see the witch, and also claimed that the witch looked exactly like Alma.  The town believed the story because Alma is a direct descendant of Marta Jones. Feeling a sudden wave of exhaustion, Tyler, the Creator realized that with the show, and the mystery, the crew had managed to stay up past dark, so Alma invited them to stay at her house. Hodgy Beats and Left Brain were so tired that they decided to sleep in their president costumes. Hodgy Beats was George Washington and Left Brain was Harry Truman. As they were getting ready for bed Left Brain pointed out that in his George Washington costume Hodgy Beats looked like a witch. The powdered wig, the odd layers of coats and capes, the fake wooden teeth all added to the effect.  Hodgy Beats was not amused, but before he could respond the real witch appeared before their eyes! Without thinking Left Brain got up to tackle the witch, but before he could grab her she disappeared in a cloud of orange smoke.

Left Brain tries to sieze the witch

Hearing the commotion, Tyler, the Creator, Syd the Kyd, Domo Genesis, Taco and the rest of the crew run upstairs to find Hodgy Beats and Left Brain examining a strange orange liquid that eating away the carpet. Frank Ocean noticed movement outside and saw the witch running into the old cemetery. Odd Future set out after her, leaving Alma alone.  The witch was indeed glowing, but not running fast, as the team got close to her she disappeared into another cloud of orange smoke.  As they investigated the area Syd the Kyd found a hot piece of wire. A clue! As they headed back to the house another police officer warned them of the dangerous witch and advised them to stay away from Alma’s house and the cemetery. Once again the team ignored the warning.

Inside the house the team started looking for clues while Tyler, the Creator and Hodgy Beats went trick or treating.  Before long Taco found Alma’s family tree, they noticed the witch, Marta Jones, in her past, and they also found Alma – except her name had been erased and marked with the word Gemini. Perhaps another clue!

Nearby, while trick-or-treating Hodgy Beats was mistaken for the witch (since his George Washington costume looked so similar to the real witch). As people started yelling and pointing at him, he and Tyler, the Creator were forced to run but were soon captured by a giant mob. The pair was marched to the town square for an old fashion witch confession! The town thought they had finally caught Marta Jones! Since they weren’t interested in Tyler, the Creator (dressed as John Adams) he was able to pull off his wig and slip away through the crowd. He ran back to Alma’s house to get help from the team but found the police were there searching the house. He ducked into the old cemetery to think about what to do next, but as he ducked behind a mausoleum he ran into the rest of the Odd Future team. He told them that an angry crowd had grabbed Hodgy Beats and that he was in serious trouble. Syd the Kyd realized that they had to draw out the real witch and trap her, to prove that Hodgy Beats was innocent, so she and Domo Genesis started digging a hole for a trap while everyone else raced to the town square. 

Hodgy Beats is in Trouble

At the square the team spotted Hodgy Beats on an old elevated hanging platform. His hands were tied and he was still dressed as George Washington. Taco noted that he really did look like a witch. The platform was completely surrounded by the angry mob, they were yelling at him to confess to being a witch. Hodgy Beats was doomed!  Frank Ocean came up with a plan and asked for a big bag of flour. A few minutes later Frank Ocean snuck under the platform and released one of the trapdoors that was used to drop the condemned prisoners, he signaled to Hodgy Beats who understood the signal. In an instant Hodgy Beats jumped down through the trapdoor. At the same time Frank Ocean threw the flour up through the trap door. The crowd thought that Hodgy Beats had disappeared in a cloud of smoke! They screamed and dispersed. Frank Ocean untied Hodgy Beats and they both shed their presidential costumes. They escaped in the panicked crowd.

The Trap Door

A short while later the Odd Future crew met back up at the grave yard and was joined by Alma!  Syd the Kyd immediately asked her why the witch only showed up when she was gone. She didn’t know, but assured them that she was not the witch. Taco believed his friend, but the team wasn’t convinced, at least until Left Brain spotted the real witch running right for them!  Syd the Kyd quickly covered the hole and they moved back so the witch would fall in. Unfortunately, Hodgy Beats, who was still shook from his experience with the mob, lost his balance and fell into the trap! The witch would get them for sure. But as the witch approached she stepped on the shovel that Syd the Kyd had used to dig the hole, it sprung up and hit her in the head, knocking her out.

After helping Hodgy Beats out of the hole the team moved in for a closer look. The witch did look exactly like Alma. Maybe it really was a ghost! But once the witch woke up and realized that she had been captured by the Odd Future crew she told the truth.  She was Alma’s twin sister and had been acting like a witch to frighten the town into getting rid of Alma in order to inherit the club herself and turn it into a coffee shop. The chief of police, who was tired of all the problems from the rap club helped her with her plan and had his officers post signs and warn people about Alma to increase the pressure on her. Syd the Kyd realized that the word “Gemini” from the family tree meant “twins”, but she couldn’t figure out how the twin sister accomplished the glowing.  The sister revealed that she had constructed a battery powered LED vest, but it was damaged: the battery had started leaking (and probably burned the carpet) and a wire had also fallen off during the chase earlier that night. The mystery was solved! As the mayor saw to it that the twin sister and the chief of police were arrested, Hodgy Beats and Tyler, the Creator resumed their trick-or-treating, only this time they were dressed as RUN and DMC. Alma inherited her club and Odd Future saved the day!

Thank God for Odd Future!

Mystery Solving Ability Score: 10/10