Artist(s): Young Don, Big Suave, and DJ Chubb
Album: "School 4 Skoundrelz" Album Sampler
Uploaded to Dat Piff: 12/17/2007
School! We’ve all been there, right? You were in school. I was in school. Young Don and Big Suave are currently in school, as is Fat Bastard, Tum Tum, Buzhe Franklin, Demented, Lil’ Soc, Chase Pat, Supa Dupa, and more… So everyone has a shared school experience. Community spirit! Rappers Young Don and Big Suave had such a deep connection with school that they decided to name an album after a school they founded called the “School 4 Skoundrelz”. Now, as is my tradition, I have not, and will not, listen to this album, I will just judge the cover art because it’s a lot easier.
Alright, so I named everyone who's name appears on the cover of this album with the exception of the host, DJ Chubb “Da Record Breaker”. His nickname naturally brings me to this question: why is the DJ breaking records? Sure, maybe it means he's breaking the pull-up record at the gym or something, but I think it means he's breaking the physical mecdium which music is recorded on. You know: RECORDS. He should be protecting them. Weird religious people tend to be the ones I hear about breaking records, and they usually break them by running them over with a steamroller. DJ Chubb should be standing between the steamroller and the record pile; he is the last line of defense. We need you DJ Chubb (“Da Record Protector” maybe?)! Will his son will be DJ Chubb Jr. "The MP3 deleter"? Yes.
All of the other names are fine (the teacher gave them an ‘A+’) so we’ll move on. Actually the name Lil’ Soc is really weird, what is that name all about? I can’t tell. Little socks? A little punch, like “I got socked a lil' in the mouth”? Your guess is as good as mine.
So here’s a question: are Young Don and Big Suave enrolled in the School 4 Skoundrelz, or are they some sort of school administrators? Are they teachers? Well? The cover leads me to believe that they are students as they are clearly facing the teacher’s desk and turning in assignments. It appears that they had an easy assignment (list your album name and then some of your friends), but they don’t look too happy about those high grades ('A+'). One guy is looking at his watch like “the bell is about to ring (kiss face)” and the other guy looks like he is carrying a heavy backpack filled with text books on skoundreling. Heavy! Drop some of that off at your locker dude and meet me at the candy machine.
Maybe they just did a presentation on their paper where they had to go up to the front of the class, write their names on the board, give a presentation that is between five and ten minutes long, and then turn in their paper. That one guy is checking their time (“five minutes and ten seconds, we just made it!”). Fun! Educational! School is a good opportunity to learn presentation skills, and clearly these guys get it. Thank a teacher! On the other hand, these guys look way to old to be students, so they might just be there for their own kids, like “I think my son, Lil’ Young Don Jr., did a great job and deserves an ‘A+’ don’t you, teacher?” and the other guy is like “(checks watch) I don’t have time for your shit, teacher, that kid gets an ‘A+’.” And the teacher is like “‘A+’s’ for everybody”!
Finally, why are Young Don and Big Suave making an album about the School 4 Skoundrelz if they are students? School spirit? I mean, if I'm going to listen to an album about the School 4 Skoundrelz, I want to hear the material from the people who teach not the students since I'm basically a student since I don't know anything about skoundreling.
Okay, so one other final thing. For the back cover the teacher looks over his notebook and sees that a bunch of “students” have shown up. The next generation of Skoundrelz? Probably. These guys are there to learn skoundreling. If you can read this thank a teacher, or whatever. Get to work, teacher! These guys really don’t look happy and I think that one guy is an undercover cop because he’s showing his badge (like “Kindergarten Cop” and “21 Jump Street”), plus he’s looking mad like “don’t blow my cover you lousy teacher”. Don't blow my cover! Get it! Puns! The other guys’ emotions seem to range from confusion, to sleepy, to contempt, so you can bet this teacher is having a weird day. “Just settle down fellas, I’ve got the track list right here, you all made the team. You’re all winners…did you have a nice Spring Break?”
I guarantee these guys had the best spring break ever.
Okay, in summary: this is my worst review ever, this album cover is all-around weird and a lot of these guys t-shirts would violate the dress code of any school, but at the School 4 Skoundrelz, you violate the dress code if your shirt ain’t offensive, sucka.
Art Score: 0/10