Thursday, August 11, 2011


Odd Future Mysteries: The Attack Of The Prophet, Jeru The Damaja

It was the end of summer and the Odd Future crew was preparing to perform a ‘Thank You’ concert for their fans on a beautiful afternoon in a New York City park. Families had gathered with strollers and picnic lunches. Blankets and lawn chairs were spread all around the sprawling green surrounding the stage. Everything was perfect, yet in the midst of the setup Syd the Kyd noticed that Frank Ocean was not acting like himself and she asked him what was wrong.

Frank Ocean looked a little embarrassed, "You ever heard of the Prophet?" he asked.

"No," she replied.
Frank Ocean

But before she could say anything more Tyler, the Creator interrupted, "Ah, it’s an old legend of a defender of hip hop who lives around here..." 

Frank Ocean spoke up, "Yeah, we're playing in East New York. That's where he's from! They call him the Damaja." 

Tyler, the Creator smirked,”Ha! Jeru? You believe that nonsense? Nobody’s seen him since Pac was killed."

"I'm just saying that we should be careful here," Frank Ocean said while he finished adjusting his microphone.

The time came to start the show. Once Odd Future finished their introductions and started playing their world famous song Sandwitches Frank Ocean noticed a lone, unmoving figure standing at the edge if the crowd. Apparently Syd the Kyd had seen him too because when Frank Ocean looked toward her to point him out she was already signaling to him. She looked scared.

The figure stepped out of the shadows and all doubts of the stranger’s identity vanished. The description matched perfectly. It was the prophet: Jeru the Damaja. His military hat, nappy hair and thick beard, his tempered steel mic, and his East New York swag were undeniable. He looked angry.
The Prophet
Tyler, the Creator must have seen him as well because he gave the signal to stop the show. The music stopped, there was silence. 
"Who are you?" Tyler, the Creator shouted across the crowd pointing at the prophet.

Unmoving, the dark figure said nothing. 

“Answer me!” Tyler, the Creator yelled. There was no response. Tyler, the Creator was not one to believe in legends or the supernatural, so he picked up the Microphone and said with a distorted voice, “Well, prophet, we’ve come to your hood, this is your block, and we’ve taken hip hop as our own. What are yooouuu going to do about it?”

The prophet stirred slightly, he must have known that hip hop was now rolling with Odd Future. Tyler, the Creator and Taco jumped off the stage and aggressively made their way through the crowd toward the Prophet, but as they approached he disappeared into a black hole (or a supernova). As Taco called him a coward they saw that he had not disappeared after all, he had created a shadow to hide behind and then dipped and did a back flip, which he landed on the stage. He grabbed Domo Genesis and broke with the swiftness. He was gone.

Domo Genesis
Stunned, the Odd Future team assembled near the stage to work out a plan. Jasper Dolphin appeared especially angry and pointed out that Domo Genesis was in great danger. This same situation had happened before, a long time ago, and Jeru stopped at nothing to retrieve hip hop from Puff Daddy and Suge Knight. The scary thing was that those two industry heavyweights didn't even put up a fight against Jeru, they just handed hip hop back over as soon as Jeru showed up. Odd Future would be different. Odd Future doesn't play or back down. Jeru was in for a fight.

Jasper Dolphin wondered aloud where the Prophet might have taken Domo Genesis. Left Brain thought he knew the answer as he had heard of Jeru’s adventures as a small child. “I suspect that he will be at a place called D&D", a quick check online confirmed that D&D Studios, in downtown Manhattan, was now called the HeadQCourterz and might be some kind of lair or refuge for hip hop traditionalists.

“Let’s Roll” yelled Left Brain, “It’s time to settle this once and for all.”

And they were off to Manhattan.

As the team approached Jeru's evil HeadQCourterz Frank Ocean stopped them. "Listen guys," he said nervously, "Jeru is very powerful...they say he was born in an inferno. He's super scientifical and he can alter his physical chemistry. Yo, he's got so many bodies on his microphone, they say that it's haunted. If we face him and he grabs his mic, the whole place will catch fire."

Tyler, the Creator looked doubtful, he was frustrated that some of his own crew had bought into the lies of the traditionalists. "All superstition," he said, "If we actually stand up to Jeru, he'll crumble. He's just a rusty old man using outdated tricks that don't matter anymore."

"All Superstition"

With that the team pushed ahead toward Jeru's evil HeadQCourterz. Jeru was out in the street in front of the building holding Domo Genesis with some sort of blade (it looked like a sharpened steel bookmark).

Jeru spoke, "Where is hip hop?"

"Ha ha ha ha ha!," Tyler, the Creator responded, "We've got him, and he's staying with us."

As Tyler, the Creator was speaking he noticed a second figure joining Jeru, but it didn't matter, Odd Future was here to finish this and end the terror (Tyler later discovered that the second figure was Afu-Ra, another traditionalist). Jeru spoke again, "Return hip hop to us and nobody gets hurt."

As Tyler, the Creator started to speak he was interrupted by Syd the Kyd yelling, "Do your best!"

Jeru crouched down and grabbed his microphone, as he started spitting the whole block went dark and started blurring out. Fire appeared everywhere.

Jeru is stronger than they thought.
The scene was intense. Tyler, the Creator could feel the pressure building in his head. Jeru was powerful. But Tyler, the Creator managed to grab his own mic, as did Hodgy Beats, Left Brain, and Mike G. They started spitting their own raps, even Domo Genesis started rapping as a hostage. But it was quickly apparent that Jeru was too powerful for them. Tyler, the Creator found it hard to coordinate his raps with his team, Jeru must have been scrambling their abilities, there was a new pressure on his neck, he was somehow being choked, and he was feeling like he was getting electrocuted. It was hopeless.

As he started to fall he noticed a gathering behind him: Odd Future fans. Not only that, Jeru's old enemies were gathering as well (ignorance, hatred, jealousy, envy, despair, animosity, deceit, tricknology, and Greedy Lou's more powerful brother Amos Greed). Plus the pork chop patrol was rolling up on the scene. It was time for Jeru to pay the piper.

At first Jeru stood strong, but he didn't realize the power and number of the new Odd Future fans. They were able to easily surround Jeru, then they cheered for the Odd Future crew. Jeru wasn't able to do his tricks, he tried to dip, but was blocked, he tried to dive but was stuck. The mob closed in around him and forced the release of Domo Genesis. The masses were strong but not able to kill the Prophet, so they finally managed to force him into his evil HeadQCourterz  and  they sealed the entrance. Peace was restored.

The Odd Future Team performed their 'Thank You' concert right there in front of Jeru's evil HeadQCourterz with Jeru inside. Domo Genesis was unharmed and hip hop stayed where it was popular. The city cheered. The world cheered.

Odd Future saved the day and Jeru was vanquished.

Thank God for Odd Future!
Mystery Score: 10/10

The crowd rallies for Odd Future!

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