Monday, October 3, 2011

Yo! That's a Mixtape: AMP7 "Remember Me"

Curtain Background! An MC and a Photoshop Pro!
AMP7 is a New York City rapper who has dropped four mixtapes since July of 2010. But wait! Before you get excited about the next East Coast unsigned hype you should know that AMP7 is like a preteen version of someone reading a boring book at the autotune. So this is ANOTHER review of a KID POORLY RAPPING, which is exactly what nobody wants to read. So enjoy?

But before we start, is the title of this album a question like "Remember me?". To which I would answer no. Or is it a statement, like a demand (or a threat): REMEMBER ME! Or maybe it's artistically ambiguous. Yeah, it's gotta be that last one considering that AMP7 is in middle school.

1. Remeber Me (Intro)
We start things out with a stolen beat (of course). AMP7 comes in with the least confident voice that I've heard in a long time. He sounds scared on the mic, or maybe OF the mic. He's definitely trying to sound official though, he's got his own DJ tags (which are both disruptive and unintelligible). But who cares? Who wants to hear a timid rapper? Nobody. So let's take a look at the opening lines of the album:

"I'ma East Sidah Ridah, Video Guide-a
If you never need it then I'ma a come and get iiiit!"
That's dumb! And it doesn't make sense! A few lines later AMP7 introduces a major theme of this album: AMP7 DOESN'T CARE. Now I'll continue to transcribe his lyrics, but I'll warn you I can't understand half his lines but I'll do my best. I'll even note where I'm guessing at his lines with [brackets]. 

"You can't find me, I'll be [hear a CD],
If you want it [punted] I'll be [on your CD].
Scratch that. I'll be up here in [the ax].
I don't care about you, I don't care about that.
Uhh! Don't even care about [juice stain]
[and all new stangs]!
Huh! You're [news staaaaaangs]!
[and I'm] never really care"
AMP7 also doesn't care about making music you can understand. So what's the problem? AMP7 is using a fake accent! I can't understand him because he's trying to act like something he's not. No wonder he's not confident. I don't like this...and AMP7 doesn't care. This song is awful. Oh, the song ends with AMP7 making really loud monkey sounds or something. So professional, the next "OTIS"!

2. The Winner
Guess what. Half this song is about how AMP7 doesn't care. ALSO, WHO GAVE THESE KIDS AUTOTUNE? AND HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SING IN AUTOTUNE OFF KEY? I didn't even think that was possible, but AMP7 proves me wrong. Apparently there is a big difference between a professional using autotune and a lazy kid because this is what it would be like if Autotune had the ability to physically assault you and injure you. This song is A LOT OF AUTOTUNE. It's like torture. And what the fuck are you a winner at AMP7? Not singing. OR making mixtapes, or rapping, fake accents, production, making album covers, or writing lyrics, using Autotune or anything. AMP7, why aren't you in school? If you can't sing with autotune then you should give up. Give up on your dreams.

3. Ransom FreeStyle (Feat. G.I.G)
Okay, this is really a taxing review (for you as well, I'm sure), but we're almost done. AMP7 starts things off by calling his guest G.I.G. "Pretty Good" (what an endorsement). I would call him "Most Awful". For the record, AMP7 is much better than GIG. AMP7 may be a cowardly rapper but at least he doesn't fall back on the gimmick of slowing down his voice like GIG does. Oh, wait AMP7 autotunes the shit out of his voice so I guess they're kind of at the same level of wackness. But saying one of these guys is worse than the other is like saying a head wound is worse than a neck wound. They're both nothing that you want.

So AMP7 starts things off with more raps about not caring, and he introduces his second favorite subject: never going out:

"Well, I'll never get it in because I'm never going out.
Don't really care about your [ween], but I don't care about the [snout].
I don't really care about the things, the things you wanna do...
but I'm never going in, I'm never going out."
So I gotta ask: Why are you never going out? I like to go out. I do it all the time. I'm brave! We might have a clue later in his lyrics: "I ain't coming out, everything you want to do. But I ain't coming out, I never want to do. What I see, I've seen things that I don't want to see". OH! So you're just going to retreat into your little shell and rap into your computer in your nice room. Cool. For the record, here is the actual lyric (I trimmed it earlier for clarity):
"I ain't comming out, everything you want to do.
But I-I-I ain't comming out, I ne-ah-never want to do.
What I see, come-on, come-on I sees, see.
See things that I da-da-don't wanted to see".

Here's more of that!
"Back down. I a-in't never gon back down.
You could, you could back down.
You, you, you, you could back down.
You, you, you. You, you, you should back down.
Ca-cuz I I I I I a-ain't backin' down.
I a-ain't backin' da-I a-ain't backin' down.
Sa-sa-ssso so you could, you could back it down.
Hey, when you see them hatin', ha-a-hatin', a-ha-a-hatin', in-a eyes.
Ah-ah-eyes. You could, you, you, you could see it.
I-I-I ain't never believe it. Cu-Cu I ain't, A-I ain't.
A-I ain't know the difference, I-I ain't no see it.
You could get it. Ah-ah-I ain't no get it. You could. I ain't no heroah.
I ain't no heroah. And you ain't no mmm. You can go hrmmmmmm.
Eh! You never really cared.
I'm a go get it like I never really should've cared.
But I just did care. And you could see me care.
But I ain't gonna care. You, you, you could get it Karen.
Ay! You could get it Kaaarrrreeeennn.
Ay! You could get it Caaarrrrinnng.
Caaarrrrinnng about the things that you want to get-it ah!"
One other point about AMP7, and this is very painful for any listener, he is really trying to flow like Lil Wayne. It's really obvious. Listen, AMP7, rap in your own voice with your own flow and inflections. Nobody wants to hear your terrible Wayne impression. A lot of us don't even want to hear the real Lil Wayne. Holla! Okay, now that that's out of the way we can move on to GIG...Is he in the witness protection program? His voice is so distorted and slow that I'm just assuming that his face is blurred on the news. Whatever. This song sucks. Especially GIG, the worst of the worst.

 4. Fed Up (Feat. 360, G.I.G., Clean)
Check the roster. AMP7 is rollin' deep, son! G.I.G. is back and he sounds like he's rapping from the bottom of a well! Like with his mouth on a small tube and his voice is being recorded from the safety of the surface. That's a good place for him. There's a lot more "I don't care" and "I'm never coming out" talk. Why this time? Hate, discreimination, and the "streets look like hell". Now in my opinion people who are poor or live in bad neighbor hoods aren't as concened with hate and discrimination as they are with food, heat, and safety. Rich people talk about hate and descrimination like this, ESPECIALLY PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT. I would guess that AMP7 fits into the "My mom hates my rap music. Stop the hate. She descrimates against me, especially at Perkins" category of hate victims. I guarntee that these kids are from a nice comfortable neightborhood in the suburbs. AMP7, your lines about "gangs" being "all over" you ring pretty hollow, sucka.

Okay, so GIG is on here too! He doesn't care either and he is also never coming out. Rapping shut-ins! GIG points out that we cannot understand the things he has to say or the things comming out of his mind. You're right! I can't understand becasue your voice is distorted like an Iron Man acton figure that "really talks".

Okay the end of this song goes into big time singing. AMP7 or whoever sings it up like Rihanna! It is just the worst. I cannot wait for this song to end so I never have to listen to it again.

5. Im' Still Fly (feat. Drake)
This song marks the return of AMP7's DJ tag and it sounds like it says "You are listening to the sounds of DJ pea-putter". Nice? So this is basically the Drake song with AMP7 singing in autotune over the top. It also has some awful autotune raps. Luckially it's short. Man, the autotune is unbelieveable. This song is terrible. This mixtape is terrible. AMP7 is terrible. STOP THE RAPPING.


I've been through a lot of bad mixtapes and "Remember Me - EP" is one of the worst. Really, it's the inclusion of the autotune pitch "singing" and G.I.G.'s appalling work behind the mic that pushes this garbage over the edge of the landfill. And when you remove those elements you're basically left with AMP7's nonsensical raps which are so poorly produced that you can't understand them. Yet AMP7 makes one thing clear: he's "never coming out" of his house (or whatever) because he's afraid of the dangerous world that we all live in. That's his stance: being a coward. This all leads us to the larger problem: kids making terrible raps and being so
arrogant that thet think that they're the next Justin Beiber of rap. Yooooouuuuuu'rrrrree nooottttt goooooooood.

Score: 0/10