This is where we review an album cover without listening to the album. So Fun!
Artist: Ill Boyz
Album: We Want In Volume 1
Uploaded: September 29, 2010
"DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR, MOM!"
"Why not? It might be your Auntie Frita."
"NOOOOOO! IT'S THE ILL BOYZ, FIVE DRUG ADDICTS WHO ALSO RAP*!"
"Why are they here? Do they want to play baseball with you?"
"OH! Maybe. I'll just open the door and ask... ... ...YEP, they do! C-YA later mom!"
"Bye, Love you. Have fun."
"I love you too!"
"Make sure you invite the Ill Boyz back here after the game for some snacks!"
*jk, addictions and rapping are editorial assumptions
Once you're done sighing so loudly, we can get on with this review. I understand that this cover is supposed to look like the view through the peephole of your front door, but I would like some clarification. First of all, why is that guy in the front holding up his fist? Is he supposed to be mid-knock? If so, he's standing way too far back from the door and looks completely unnatural. Imagine you are that guy, you are at the photo shoot for the album cover and the photographer tells you to “look like you’re knocking”. HAhhaha. Pose for the picture. Show your talent! DUMB. Then the photographer tells your crew to “stand in close” and “look bored.” HAhaha! Mission accomplished.
Second, the guy in the back with the gang sign. Stop it. You look silly. Just put your hand down and act natural. You’ve already got a prop (the bat), and interesting costuming (the hat down over your eyeglasses), you don’t need a third thing to draw attention to yourself. Some of the other guys are doing just fine without trying to draw extra attention to themselves. Just chillllll.
Third, is that guy in gray (on the far left) supposed to be in the picture? He looks lost.
Fourth, what is that background? Clipart?
Uh, fifth, and MOST IMPORTANTLY: the Ill Boyz are clearly there to commit an act of violence, hence the baseball bats and the scowls. So, if they want in, as the mixtape title suggests, why are they all standing there looking menacing? Nobody is going to open the door to that. Even without the bats you would look like a bunch of crooks. Yo! Guys! Just kick the door in. OR, have one guy knock (and look unthreatening at the peephole) while the other guys hide. Then, when the door opens, everyone shove in, and ta-da, you wanted in, you got in. Now, go crazy with the baseball bats or rap or whatever you were planning on doing.
Otherwise, good luck with your rap careers and being ill, boys, we hope you make it to the TOP OF ILL (Illinois)! Go Ill Boyz! Get some people to listen to your work!
COVER ART SCORE 0/10