Thursday, September 20, 2012

Track Checker: LCC "Tobacco Free Campus"

You Down With LCC?
We've covered college raps before, and, boy do they make my blood boil. I mean like that one guy from the Bugs Bunny cartoons who gets so mad and steam comes out of his ears. That's me. Angry. Stop rapping, people who go to college.

Well, we've got another installment of college people rapping. Only this time it's about how you should stop smoking, which is exactly the foundation that hip hop was founded on.  #FIGHTthePOWER

Let's just check it out.


"Yeah you know me." - LCC

Actually, I don't know you. WTFuck is LCC? Lane Community College! Where is that? Hell? I'm going to look it up, but first I'm going to take a wild guess that it's in Washington State - the worst state in America at rap. Let's check...

HAHAHAHAHHA! Eugene, OR! That's close enough! Oregon and Washington are basically the same cesspool of rap. And our last college rap was from Oregon too. HEY Pacific Northwest! Why do you think you can answer any question with a rap? You're so bad a rapping. STOP THAT RAPPING!

The mastermind?

Now, let's get down to the nitty gritty and examine the song point by point.

1. The first thing any trained ear would notice is the Naughty by Nature beat lifted from "O.P.P.", which is a softball beat if I've ever hear one. I'm not saying it's bad, I'm saying it's a classic beat which everyone should be able to rock on. But it's very, "We gotta appeal to these kids in a cool way." kind of safe. "That old beat can't miss" - LCC. WRONG.

"There's no room for relationships, there's just room to hit it!"
2. The rapping is appaling to everyone. I'm talking every aspect. The rhymes are so basic and so dumb. The flow is unprofessional and so dumb. It's like sometimes your just talking and sometimes your putting it on a little bit in a bad way. No fun. Let's dig in...

    2a. So they're going smoke free, but they're still allowing smoking on the "far side" of the parking lot. Is that really smoke free? Or mostly smoke free? Think about it, LCC.

     2b. THIS:

"No more smokin', so no more chokin', and I'm not jokin'
So give it a thought...and head to...the far side of the parking lot.
Even if you're addicted, don't be conflicted."

     2c.They bring in that Northwest nature shit that nobody likes (presented in this way).

Neat shirt.

No thanks.

3. There are plenty of reasons to be "down" with a college, but being "smoke free" isn't a common one. Let's say that your state banned smoking at restaurants. Would you then be "down" with Red Lobster because they are smoke free, or because they serve bangin' biscuits? Answer: the biscuits. Nobody should be down with a place for taking away your freedom. LCC should allow smoking in every classroom during every lecture. Stop telling everyone what to do. What are you going to ban next? Soda? Texting? Laughing?
Time to celebrate, we're taking away a privilege.
4. What is going on with the outfits? Sunglasses and a hat to the side is not enough anymore. You gotta come real with it, LCC.

GET DOWN (off of whatever you're standing on)

5. Are they rapping in a doctor's office? Do you want your medical professional to come from a Community College that makes unprofessional raps like this? No.

IN CONCLUSION: The people in this video are hardly oppressed, in fact they are future (or current) oppressors. This is what we must fight. They try to use our weapons against us but they fail. So fight the power. Smoke on campus at LCC. Run away from that Segway Scooter. Ash in the flower garden. Do whatever it takes to stay up, son. Don't take shit from anyone.


He seems like a nice guy unitl he runs you down in one of these:

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