Monday, October 8, 2012

Vote Cappa 2012: "Milk The Cow"

This blog officially endorses Cappadonna in the 2012 Presidential Election of the United States. Vote Cappa, stupid.

In the run-up to the big election* we've decided to make a mockery of everything and endorse one of our favorite rappers: Cappadonna. We know that he isn't even running for office, but we like him so much that it doesn't matter. So, to help support his platform of Cow Milking and Slang Prostitution, we're going to feature one of his songs every week from now until the election. We're just trying to get out the vote.
*Elections are wack, if you think that you're going to change anything by voting for any of the official wealthy nominees, then you're out of your mind.

Our track today establishes our candidate's early work. "Milk the Cow" was featured on his first (lackluster) solo album "The Pillage". It's a dope song and it demonstrates our candidate's commitment to the American farmer, the heartland, Park Hill, etc..

Artist: Cappadonna featuring Method Man
Song: "Milk The Cow"
Album: The Pillage

Release Date: March 24, 1998

Now, in the official roll call of the tracks, we call the representatives from cow milking:

Yo, new Cappadonna is about to exhale kid
Hold all the phone calls, stop all the mail

HEAR YE, HEAR YE! That just comes to the earpiece right. Salute to True Master for the devastating beat. And Cappadonna himself for having the courage to stand up and doing it milky, just like his mother told him to do. Respect.

Also, this is a fantastic video. One of the best. Classic. This comes from the same era as all the terrible Wu Tang Clan videos. How does Cappa come in and make a good video while the Clan was fucking with magic marker name plates in their videos? The answer: he's mad professional, and he'll bring that level of professionalism to the oval office.

I do have one thing to point out on a bit of a side note: Method Man is not his running mate. Donna runs alone. Method Man is barely on this song. He has like two lines and an outro. Was he paid for that? Check his tax returns or some shit! Was he promoted on the album cover as a guest? Because that wasn't really a guest, it was more of a pop-in. Let's check the rear cover...

Nope. No mention of Method Man. Good. See, our candidate established himself as the honest contender early on. If that doesn't earn your vote then I don't know what will.

So, VOTE CAPPA 2012 - He'll honestly represent who is guest starring on his songs.

IN CONCLUSION: In 2016, we're going to be chanting "4 More Years" as Cappa completes his first term. Ka-Plow!


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