YO! CANADA RAPS!
So this is Christmas. It is what it is. Our gift to you is a combination of several of our least favorite things:
1. RICH PEOPLE RAPPING
2. CANADA
3. BAD ACTING
4. CLEVER PEOPLE BEING MUCHO WITTY
This is "Mother Nature Holiday Rap" by some people on YouTube...enjoy:
Pop quiz, hotshot: why would someone make this? Bordem? Mental illness? I can't imagine the conversation:
"Let's make a funny holiday rap video."
"That sounds SO FUN, Kyle."
"But we have to make it extra funny and add in a bit of adult humor."
"HAHAAH! No bad words though, and don't forget some extra pizazz."
"Yeah! And we can send it to all our friends and fellow Canadians and then we can discuss all the jokes we made and hard work we did!"
"And maybe quote the video in our day to day life for a little laugh...it will be great"
"Our friends will love how quirky we are! They'll be like 'Oh, those two are doing their thing again! Rap is their thing and they're so good at it. So funny, like SNL Lazy Sunday'!"
"Yeah. This is how we set ourselves apart from the rest of the zombies that we associate with. They watch TV or whatever, and we actually do something artistic...creative. I was born to act. And rap. This is how we live life to the fullest! Plus, we have plenty of money!"
This is the end point of hip hop. The bottom.
Question. Why is the girl surprised that the flight was cancelled when they have "12 Feet of Snow"? Also, who can afford a vacation? You're "sick of all these flight delays"? A lot of people have never even set foot on a plane. How about "I'm sick of this horrible part of town that I live in because I can't move because I don't have money or the skills to get a good job and important people in my life have a way of abandoning me because of deep psychological issues stemming from generations of terrible economic conditions"?
Making fucking videos in front of a fireplace. Nice and warm, are we? What about heating your shit apartment by leaving your oven on and the door open because you don't have to pay for the gas...AND YOU HAVE LITTLE KIDS AROUND WHO COULD GET BURNED ON THAT SHIT?
"I want to take you on vacation, but the weather got bad without explanation."
Nice rhyme. You know, the weather is ALWAYS doing things without explanation. Partly Cloudy! Explain yourself, asshole clouds.
Let's check the chorus:
"Mother Nature is a m-----f------ cold hearted b----"
A Christmas rap about weather? Edited? With singing and other hijinks? FUCK ME AND FUCK CANADA. FOREVER. Chew on that candy cane.
Here is another one from Canada...
What is gong on up there? You can't blame the snow, because we have that here in Philly and it doesn't kill the power to people's brains here. So what is it? Water?
So what is Christmas to Canadians?
1. "So Many" Wrapped presents under the tree. Fine.
2. People riding moose.
3. People in the cold and their faces are turning red.
4. Speaking French?
5. Pet Beavers?
6. Going down stairs?
7. Hockey?
8. Making a "tally" something something loot.
9. The death of the elderly.
10. Someting about tires?
11. Eating moose and goose.
KIDS! RIGHT? They do the darndest things. Except for that death thing this Christmas sounds super boring. So boring that the kids might go out in the snow and make a rap video. Can you imagine being a kid in Canada. There is clearly nothing to do up there, and you have to stay inside or your face will turn red.
Why is everyone you mention "crazy"?
It's just a fun time. Lighten up.
SPEAKING OF FUN TIMES: THIS IS NOT FUN TIMES. THIS IS THE WORST.
I don't even know where this one is from, but I bet it's fucking Canada too. I could see Washington State as well.
Call it a hunch, but I bet these boys are wealthy. Money money money + rap = perfect music that everybody wants to hear. HUNCH.
IN CONCLUSION: That's Christmas. Sip some more Wwindex.
MOTHER NATURE HOLIDAY RAP SCORE 0/10
CANADIAN CHRISTMAS RAP SCORE 0/10
THAT'S CHRISTMAS RAP SCORE 0/10
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