Thursday, January 10, 2013
Leatha Fase vs. Leatha Face UK
Ladies and gentlemen! I'm sure there are no ladies reading this...and probably no gentlemen. just a couple lost souls who were searcing for images of Puffy and ended up here. Welcome! Don't leave yet, we have a treat for you in classic hip hop form: a BATTLE! Truth.
Today it's another same-name face off. This time it's between Leatha Fase and Leatha Face! Two people named after a stupid movie that nobody has seen since 1994. Great name! But so confusing to those of us doing internet searches for Leatha Face. Let's get this sorted out. WHO IS THE BEST LEATHA FASE? DESERVING OF THE NAME? KEEPER OF THE LETTERS THAT FORM THE NAME FROM THIS TIME FORWARD?
Let's meet the contenders...
In this corner, hailing from Puerto Rico, Brooklyn, Queens, and Staten Island:
Known for being U-God's bestie and for producing and rapping for the Hillside Scramblers! He's got the weight of all the Sramblers behind him...
And in the other corner, hailing from ENGLAND (hahahah, this one is already over)
Not known for anything in the US! Also, WTF is all that tanning talk, is this guy a beach bum?
I guess we should start with that England lad. At first I thought we might have a real battle here, but nobody from the UK has a chance in hell against an American rapper...even one from the Hillside Scrablers.
OH. Is this comedy? Jokez. NO NOT JOKES: A message about health. Ohhhhhh shiiiiiiiiit. This is the worst. Leatha Face is a tool used for public service announcements about skin cancer. Most of this video he's getting "schooled" by this guy:
"Using these sun beds to me it don't make sense,
use 'em once or more a month and the chance of skin cancer increas more
than fifty percent"
"I'm not dissing you my friend, I'm trying to save your life."
Well, that was the worst. More flipping doctors trying to reach the youth with an important message a language "they" can understand. What a bunch of assholes. Hey, if someone wants to get a tan LET THEM, don't rap at us like we're a bunch of morons. Like you're so much better and smarter than us. Tanning beds give you cancer? Fake raps cause lead poisioning.
I can't believe this but I think the Hilliside scrambler might have a good chance of winning this one. AND I'm rooting for him. GO LEATHA FASE! Body that corporate sun cancer kid.
Also, nobody I know hits the tanning beds. They either don't need it, or they're too poor. So good message focused on rich people.
SO. Leatha Face doesn't have any solo tracks that I could find, so we'll have to go with one where he teams up with his bestie U-God. Enjoy. Yo! Leatha, knock that sun tan fuck out position.
EH. That sucked. I've heard that one before and it still sucks. But was it better than the sun tan guy? I don't know. I HATE BOTH SONGS. The beat is so distracting. Deck, you stink at production. However, Leatha Face does okay! Way better than the sun burn kid. So...
LEATHA FACE (THE SCRAMBLER) is the winner!
Congratulations. You get to keep your name. But don't think that your song is any good, it's just not trying to teach me about skin cancer so it won. I'll never listen to either track again. Ever.
SUN TAN SCORE 0/10
GLIDE SCORE 0/10
IN ADDITION: I should also point out that someone in BONE (Krayzie) is nicknamed Leatha Face too...and there are a few more out there. So this isn't over.