Thursday, January 26, 2012

Track Checker, Kreayshawn "Gucci Gucci"

Kreayshawn — "Gucci Gucci"

Good freaking grief. I have no idea who Kreayshawn is, and since I'm writing this introduction before I've learned anything about this rapper I can honestly give a fresh perspective. You'll know my first reaction to whatever this is. I've never seen any video, heard any song, or even seen a picture of Kreayshawn. More specifically, I've never heard this song, so Gucci Gucci will be an entirely new experience for me. Why am I doing this? Becuase the name Kreayshawn is stupid and the song title Gucci Gucci is even worse. I strongly suspect that I've basically heard this song before a thousand times. It'll be some empty krunk trap bullshit. Right? Definitely.

So before we begin: is Kreayshawn a man or woman*? Based on the name I would have to say that I don't know. Who knows? I'm guessing a guy in the vein of Fashawn. So my official guess is that Kreayshawn is like Fashawn's older brother. His crazy older brother who drinks out of a gas can and wears Atlanta hats upside down or some shit. Oh and he likes designer lablels or whatever. Let's find a photo:

( O_o)!!!!! WHOA AND WHAT? WHAT! That is NOT what I expected at all in any way. Is that your aunt? My mind is blown. Okay, so now I'm wondering if this is even a hip hop song. I just assumed that it was a southern crunk hit, but now I'm not so sure. In fact, based on that picture I'm going to switch gears and just guess that Gucci Gucci is some kind of crappy pop hit. Like Ke$ha, and I don't even know what she sings. Oh, boy. I'm a bit nervous....

This isn't going the way I wanted it to go. I was hoping to learn about terrible ATL rap song or somthing, and then mock it. But now I'm faced with this. A regular pop hit. Maybe? I guess it could still be a rap song....I doubt it though. Now I think it'll be singing. Edgy, youthful, crappy singing. I'm going to post the video...and if it's not hip hop then this review is OVER.

Let's see....

Okay friends, see you later. Review over. That "song" sucked. It was kind of like rap, I guess. But I won't accept it. This is not welcome at this blog. What a disaster. It can go the way of LMFAO and pander to all the dimwit kids with no taste. I'm sure the toady posers at MTV are involved somehow (that's how I came across the name Kreayshawn to begin with).

So what did we learn? Kreayshawn sounds like a rapper name. Gucci Gucci sounds like a rap song title. People are terrible. Kreayshawn is worse. Sure she is apparently opposed to wearing something about don't conform, yet she looks like 75% of the teenage girls out there. Cool. This is just cool stuff. Yeah, don't wear labels but make sure to bite like a snapping turtle with your shit lyrics. If you're an aspiring rapper you should definitely check this out so that you know how to not turn out.

Gucci Gucci Score NOT REVIEWED

*[Editor's Note: When we first posed the question regarding whether K$ was a man or a woman we honestly didn't know as none of us had heard anything involved with this before. I want to make it clear that there are TONS of DOPE female MCs...they just don't usually have names like Kreayshawn. That name is the worst.] 

Time for me to RETIRE.

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