Thursday, February 9, 2012

Track Checker, V-Nasty "We Swobbin'"

These last couple of weeks have been quite a journey for the Tort Team. We discovered a rapper named Kreayshawn (or K$), then we had our expectations shattered as we found out that she was a she (which is rare in rap), then we discovered that she was from Oakland (not Atlanta as we expected), and then we found out she was one of the worst rappers in the history of the planet. Seriously, you'd think she was from Europe with the nonsense she rhymes. I mean, if you just read her lyrics as they are written out one has to wonder if she is intentionally rapping poorly as some kind of gimmick, like she's evolved so far beyond her rap-industry colleagues that she can make a mockery of the artform. She is the worst. It turns out she is part of a collective of Oakland based rappers called the White Girl Mob (OH BROTHER) with our subject today, Vanessa "V-Nasty" Reece, who released this song at some point. If your wondering: Swobbin' is performing the acts of swagin' and mobbin' simultaneously. We have a name for that too: moronic.

To be fair, this group has earned some position in the industry. They work with OFWGKTA members, Snoop Dogg (of course), Lil Wayne, and other major names. Not to mention there have been legitimate fudes with Rick Ro$$ and Game. And all I can say about that is THANK GOD FOR THE GAME. Hip hop is lucky to have him. These girls are going places?

So, with that being said I bet you are expecting a bad review of this song, right? Well, we'll see. Who knows, we might like it. Let's give it a chance...

"We Swobbin'"

You know, I thought that I could come at this song with a clear head and good intent and churn out a positive review. But I can't. Not only is this song technically appalling, it's aesthetically appalling as well. V-Nasty is a terrible rapper. Her flow is amateurish, her rhymes are childish, and her mic presence is ridiculous. She sounds exactly the same as K$, which is one of the worst insults I could hang on someone. But poorly rapping isn't enough for V-Nasty, she found production that sounds like it came out of a brain-injury ward. Keep on that road to recovery brain injury victims, your beats are almost at the brain-activity level of learning-challenged toddlers. And everyone knows that toddlers swob almost all the time.

V-Nasty also mentions that she's "got 'em hatin', but they watchin". Fair enough, we are hatin', but PLEASE BELIEVE that we will not be watching out for any of this trash anytime soon. Keep your crew swobbin' V-Nasty, that way we probably won't run into each other.
What else can I say? Oh yeah, thank GOD for the Game, I think it's time for him to start cleaning this mess up.

We Swobbin' Score 0/10

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