Thursday, June 14, 2012

Check the Bio, Son: Webbie


Welcome to the Tortoise General Blog and our latest review of a rapper's biography. Today we are looking at the official Webbie biography from Trill Entertainment! Who in the heck is Webbie? I have no idea. That's what biographies are for ya meathead. So, what do they have to say about some people's favorite rapper? Let's find out together, but I bet you already know all of this stuff from reading Tiger Beat! You're so smart and well read.

Thankfully, this bio is short and focused. Trill isn't trying to paint a picture of Webbie like some other idiotic record companies, they're just getting down to business. Who? What? Where? When? Why? And some fun trivia! Let's dig in! Thanksgiving!

Who?
Webster Gradney (born September 6, 1985) better known by his stage name Webbie...

What?
...is a rapper...

Where?
...from Baton Rouge, Louisiana

See. Straightforward. Just the facts. I even learned something: I thought the guy's name was Lil' Webbie! But it isn't, that's a fact. You learn something new every day. Good to know. Keep going...

When?
He came into the hip-hop scene in 2005 with "Give Me That Pussy" which featured U.G.K. rapper Bun B and the songs "Bad Bitch" & "Swerve" (Lil' Boosie Feat. Webbie) were featured in the 2005 movie Hustle & Flow. Both singles are on Gangsta Musik, his group album with Lil' Boosie, the album was released in December 2003, both songs are on Webbie's debut album Savage Life which was released on July 5, 2005.

Perfect. Specific dates and very inappropriate song titles. At least everyone knows what Webbie wants in life. But wait. Do I see an error? He came on the "hip-hop" scene in 2005, but released an album called "Gangsta Musik" in December 2003 with Lil' Boosie? Which happened first? Let's check the internet for a verdict. The official bio is wrong, I think. Gangsta Musik came out in 2005, not 2003. But an album was released in 2003 called Ghetto Stories. Since I am pretty clost to being the boss here, I'll just say that we won't count this as an error becasue if Webbie doesn't even care about accuracy, why should we. Let us continue.

Before we get to the "why" questions (Why is Webbie a rapper? Why did Webbie become a rapper? Etc.), We need to go back to the "who" question and get a little history. Why not?

Gradney was raised in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, in the Sherwood Forest section of the city. Webbie's upbringing was anything but stable his mother, Jocelyn, died of cancer when he was eight years old . He spent his early teen years shuttling back and forth between the care of his father and grandmother.

That's rough. Terrible. It might be part of "why" questions...

Ever since he was five years old, writing rhymes had been his release. "My big cousin from California taught me how to rap," Webbie recalls, adding that his mother was a music lover who often danced to her favorite songs.

Ah! See. This is a great bio! It might even be too personal. I'm not going to knock it though. We should all be so lucky to have a cousin from California to teach us something great.

Intrigued by music that reflected his rough upbringing, he started listening to "all the gangsta rappers, all that shit that hits hard," including the Geto Boys, 2Pac, Eazy E, Snoop Dogg, 8Ball & MJG, UGK, and Scarface.

Oh shit! Me and Webbie are on the same page here!!! Look at all of those explanation points I used! I listened to the same stuff (but I also listened to a lot more non gangsta songs). I wonder if Webbie ever sunck off and spun a little Rakim or KRS? Like me? What else was going on with the young Webbie?

"It's HEAAAAVY!!!!" - Webbie

Webbie struggled throughout school, often getting suspended for fights. He attended Broadmoor Middle School, where former math teacher Sean Fluharty described him as "a quiet, respectful student who liked to write lyrics and rap quietly to himself... he never caused me any problems; he did his work and was actually pretty decent at math."

OH SHIT! I ATTENDED BROADMOOR MIDDLE SCHOOL TOO! No I didn't! I didn't even grow up anywhere near Louisiana. Back to this bio, this is kind of a confusing section. First we learn that Webbie "struggled" and was "often" "suspended" for "fights". Okay. That happens to a lot of people. No problem! But then it quotes a teacher who says that Webbie was "quiet" and "respectful". WHAT? Which is it? And what is all of this about math? What does "pretty decent" mean. Trust me, around here NOBODY is decent at math (we went to public school). But this whole math thing is odd to throw in there. You could say that about anything...Webbie was good in school and was also pretty decent at _________.

     a> Tetris
     b> Making Tacos
     c> Woodworking
     d> Slight of Hand
     e> Remaining calm during weather emergencies
     f> math
     g> all of the above

Weird. (the answer is <g>). Let's rap this up...

He played fullback on his middle school football team, but was seen in a bad light by his coach, which sometimes chased Webbie's older brother (known for selling drugs). He went on to attend Woodlawn High School and later Belaire High School but was prevented from playing his favorite sports, football and basketball, due to his poor grades and discipline problems.

Once again, I'm having trouble seeing the connection! He played sports. Cool and normal. His coach didn't like him because of his older brothers reputation. Okay (I guess), and irrelevant. Then he went to high school and wasn't allowed to play sports due to poor grades and discipline problems! Why is that in the bio? Who cares if he played sports or not. Who cares about high school grades and discipline problems? Webbie, what happened to that "quiet" and "respectful" boy from Broadmoor? Oh yeah, all the suspensions from fighting apparently made it up to high school.

IN CONCLUSION: Great Bio? I think not. What is with all the high school stuff? Way too much school stuff. I like the lack of name dropping (except for listing inspirations) and I like how short everything is. I also think I might like Webbie's music based on this bio. Let's find out!



OH NO! I don't like that at all! Does he call Lil' Boosie "Boo"? Good Gravel, people are weird.

BIO SCORE 6/10
I BEEN HERE SCORE 0/10



Full Text of Bio:

Lil' Webbie - Official Bio
http://www.trillent.com/webbie.html

Webster Gradney (born September 6, 1985) better known by his stage name Webbie, is a rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He came into the hip-hop scene in 2005 with "Give Me That Pussy" which featured U.G.K. rapper Bun B and the songs "Bad Bitch" & "Swerve" (Lil' Boosie Feat. Webbie) were featured in the 2005 movie Hustle & Flow. Both singles are on Gangsta Musik, his group album with Lil' Boosie, the album was released in December 2003, both songs are on Webbie's debut album Savage Life which was released on July 5, 2005.

Gradney was raised in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, in the Sherwood Forest section of the city. Webbie's upbringing was anything but stable his mother, Jocelyn, died of cancer when he was eight years old . He spent his early teen years shuttling back and forth between the care of his father and grandmother. Ever since he was five years old, writing rhymes had been his release. "My big cousin from California taught me how to rap," Webbie recalls, adding that his mother was a music lover who often danced to her favorite songs. Intrigued by music that reflected his rough upbringing, he started listening to "all the gangsta rappers, all that shit that hits hard," including the Geto Boys, 2Pac, Eazy E, Snoop Dogg, 8Ball & MJG, UGK, and Scarface. Webbie struggled throughout school, often getting suspended for fights. He attended Broadmoor Middle School, where former math teacher Sean Fluharty described him as "a quiet, respectful student who liked to write lyrics and rap quietly to himself... he never caused me any problems; he did his work and was actually pretty decent at math." He played fullback on his middle school football team, but was seen in a bad light by his coach, which sometimes chased Webbie's older brother (known for selling drugs). He went on to attend Woodlawn High School and later Belaire High School but was prevented from playing his favorite sports, football and basketball, due to his poor grades and discipline problems.

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