Thursday, February 23, 2012

Yo! That's a Mixtape: Daniel Joseph Miller, Comedy Collection

The Weird Al of Hip Hop

It's time to take a break from all the hatin' we do around here and just have a laugh. Hip hop is usually very serious and it's about time that someone decided to have a little fun and lighten up. That someone is Daniel Joseph Miller*, a native of Missouri who decided to record a few fun tracks just so that we can have a laugh and then get back to our terrible lives reviewing real music.
*Not to be confused with the legitimate (and dope) Newark MC Daniel Joseph

So who is Daniel Joseph Miller (who I will now call DJM)? Who knows? He doesn't have a bio, so all we have is the photo posted above and his hilarious Weird Al rap parody music, which I will review here. He didn't even post it in a mixtape, he just uploaded song by song on SoundCloud. So this post shouldn't really be titled "Yo! That's a Mixtape", it should be called "Yo! I found a bunch of your songs". Same difference incorporated.

So kick off your shoes, turn up your headphones, and don't drink any milk because it will spray out of your nose from laughing!

Let's go! DJM in the PLACE:

1. "Peso5"
Hahahahahahhahah! See what I mean? Right away you can tell that DJM has a natural comedic sense. The long pauses over the stolen beat are too funny. The vocal production and the crappy beat are almost too much. DJM, just sign up for Def Comedy Jam now. You're a shoe in!

"I come from the 'burbs / ain't nothin' wrong with that
big house, nice cars / my pockets still fat, bitch"

Hahaha! If you have a "big house" and "nice cars" then I think it's safe to say that your pockets are, in fact, fat. That's like normal people saying that they "barely make it check to check" and that they "have trouble feeding their kids".  Classic LOL.

Peso5 by Daniel Joseph Miller

2. "MGDM"
"OKAY! Oh shit." - DJM. I don't think a voice could sound worse over a beat then what we have here, but I think that's part of the joke: "How bad can we get?". Very bad! The voice control is very funny and very bad, the lyrics are funnier, but the joke is taken to the next level when the song just kind of cuts out mid-line. It's like a dramatic pause, but its played perfectly for laughs.

"Got the city on my hat, wear it 'til I die.
If you don't know, you won't know
steady ridin' always on the look-out
reside in the G / hope in the G
bitch you know me
Getin' buckets / just say fuck it"


MGDM by Daniel Joseph Miller

3. "Tired"
"They're always talkin' shit" - DJM. I KNOW right! This song is full of double-time rapping and long stretches of no rapping. Plus lots of talk about freestyling and throwing up. Hahaha! DJM you nasty!

Tired by Daniel Joseph Miller

 4. "Freesty"
Well, just when I thought that the jokes could go no further I see that our friend has taken the beat from K$ Kreayshawn's "Gucci Gucci" and decided to show her how we all feel about her: her work is a giant joke. Yo! Let's kick that freesty. I'll give it to DJM, this makes K$ sound like KRS-ONE.

"Dude thought he was a beast
but it's misspelled, but I correct him
before I called him bitch"

That might be good, but this is better (it's the chorus, and it's the funniest thing ever in the history of this blog (also, I may not be quoting all of the lyrics quite right - the production makes it hard to hear)):

"DJ Mitch is in the building and we're throwing up
Got that STL tattoo and I'm throwing up
bitches all over me like I'm ratted up
bitch I'm tatted up...are you tatted up?
Tat, tat, tat me up
every day I'm tatted up
every day I'm getting new shit
will you hit me up?"

Wow. It's just great, and it just goes on and on with the jokes. MDJ is terrible at using profanity, plus he blatantly takes Odd Future lines just to show us how stupid this whole system is.

Our hats are off to you MJD - this is too funny.

Freesty by Daniel Joseph Miller

5. "Free"
I honestly need a bit of a break from the laughing, but MDJ would never allow that: "Party, party, we came to party - you got the guap, I got the hotty". That's good, this is better: after one of his trademark silences he slams us with this:

"So you scared, huh? Don't be a bitch.
I heard you snitch, now don't twitch, unless your brain's out"

Conclusion: this is great. It's like Ali G is in da house.

Free by Daniel Joseph Miller

 6. "Hope"
This is the same song as the previous track, maybe some of the lyrics are updated, and the title is different. But I don't know. I guess the joke is that it's the same song a second time. Not that funny. KEEP YOUR JOKE GAME UP DJM and quit being abstract. I do like that the song ends with DJM asking "Yo! Who's that?" Then answering himself "DJ Mills..........DJ Mills". Okay! I'll take your word for it (is DJ Mills sneaking in your house?).

Hope by Daniel Joseph Miller

7. "Sick Rap"
I would guess that DJM is using this song to make fun of people who have a bad break up and then make a song about their ex out of anger and the song sounds terrible. Nice observation DJM! A lot of mixtapers have really bad songs about ex girlfriends and how they'll be back. It's a classic rookie mistake and perfect to parody. Good joke DJM? I don't know.

Sick Rap by Daniel Joseph Miller

8. "Pause1"
Well, DJM is back at his old tricks: once again, this is the same track as the previous one, but this time the beat sounds unfinished. That's exactly how all the terrible mixtapes are: bad at beats. You've nailed it again my friend. Also, DJM is again confused at who his DJ is, but he clarifies it for himself just like last time.

Pause1 by Daniel Joseph Miller

9. "Tyrell"
Now we make fun of sex raps. Most of them are pretty bad (unless your name is Ghostface) but this song takes it to a whole new level of awful. Pretty funny dude.

Tyrell by Daniel Joseph Miller

10. "Ain't messing with me"
Between the last track and this one I took a bit of a break and wondered what DJM could make fun of next. That Bone Thugs flow? Maybe? European rap? I wish. I didn't even consider that he might take confusion to the next level. This is ugly funny:

"Call me Pac Man...DJ Enuff
You ain't fuckin' a real dude, you fuckin me.
What the fuck? I'm extra-ordinar-E.
You ain't fuckin' with a real dude like me
bitch come and get it, I'ma let you get it"

Is he real or not. Hahaha. I guess not.

"I'm an OG. Roger That!
Fuck you mean? FUCK YOU MEAN?"

Good questions? No, great questions. Great song.

Aint messing with me by Daniel Joseph Miller

 11. "NIKE"
I'm sure that both Nike and myself are interested to hear what DJM has in store with this song. Will it make a mockery of songs about shoes? Probably. Let's find out. Well, we start with a sample of Nas' "Nikes on my feet keep my cipher complete", and it's pretty dope - Whoa - stay focused, DJM.  Try to keep it wack. I hope this song brings the funny like a NBC sitcom and the rest of this collection. Whew, this is a dumb song after all. Some braggin' about shoes or something, it's upper-level comedy. I agree with DJM: people who make songs about shoes are the worst; we should all make fun of them. As usual, the jokes are taken to the next level with DJM spitting the most bland chorus in his most unenthusiastic voice:

"yo. watch Nikes man.
yo. watch the, watch the Nike's man.
yeh. watch Nikes man.
watch the, watch the Nike's on my feet.
watch the Nike's on my feet."

So dumb. Also, so nailed it, comedy club.

NIKE by Daniel Joseph Miller

12. "I Do It Remix"
DJM makes fun of another classic rookie mistake, the remix of a song that nobody has heard. Great. And as usual, very funny lyrics:

"If you coming, come and get it / too legit to quit"

It's line after line of comedy gold, here are some examples:

"They say I'm a wigger, but ain't scared of a trigger"


"I'm about to go off, spreading like a cough, better yet a yawn.
Keep listening gonna be drunk cuz I am artist
yeh me the smartest" 

Plus, our friend claims to be repping both STL and CHI! HAHA! Great. It just doesn't stop:

"Fuck it. Come and get it,
If you want it, I'ma split it. Yeh that wig.
Find that, el-ick, uh...oil rig"

What more can I say?

I do it remix by Daniel Joseph Miller

13. "Racks 1"
More of the same and DJM ends big. Actually, I think that this is another version of another song in the collection, but who knows? It's just a joke song and not that important (or good). I guess we gotta publish some quotes:

"What is up? You ain't never seein' me
You got the money man..........
You ain't seein' me, and I'm a get that STL-la up
Yeh, you know I got that fitted,
Yeh you know I snap that too."


"You know how I do it, this ain't Wendy's
I ain't rollin' them stacks, cash stacks"

We'll wind this up with a classic quote: "Eat that shit like cat food" - DJM.

Racks 1 by Daniel Joseph Miller

In Conclusion:
Wow! What a breath of fresh air. Very funny fresh air. If you don't know how to rap and can't make beats or even make your voice sound okay in a recording then you might want to go full funny and just make a comedy album like our boy DJM. You'd have also have to force yourself to be really bad a using profanity, and it would be tough to write rhymes this bad, but if you really put your mind to it and dumbed it WAY down, you might be able to go the DJM route, but let me warn you - it would take a lot of effort to make hip hop this intentionally bad. On the other hand...

If I ever find out that this album wasn't supposed to be a rap comedy parody album I will be very upset. Daniel Joseph Miller will jump to the top of our list of fake ass posers who should never be taken seriously and who should never rap. I would also have to say that this is one of the worst collections of songs that I have ever heard in my life and I've heard a lot of bad songs. If these songs are supposed to be taken even a tiny bit seriously then Daniel Joseph Miller will solidify St. Louis as the worst city ON EARTH for hip hop, shit, it might even allow Missouri to replace Washington State as the worst state for hip hop. It might also make STL the best place for frontin'. So on that note: keep is silly Daniel Joseph Miller, keep up the joke music - we're all laughing here.

Daniel Joseph Miller Comedy Rap Songs Collection Score 4/10

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