Thursday, December 13, 2012

Track Checker: Lazy Four "Queen City Anthem"

Boom. Bap. Who's reppin' Canada?
Boom Bap. No not me.
Boom Bap. Who's reppin' Regina?

We've already estalished that Australia is the worst in the world at rapping. Second place is Canada. What a bunch of wankers, right? Fuck! But can we really make that judgement? YES! I mean I'm sure there is a shit load of garbage Canadian rap that we haven't heard, but still. It's fucking Canada. What comes out of there thats good? NADA. Assholes. Should we give the boys up north a chance? Sure. We might find something dope (HAHAHA - I don't think so, the whole country has like a million people in it). Anyway, who should we choose to represent the whole fucking country? The LAZYFOUR. From Regina, Canada. You know...right here:

Hahah! There it is! Right next to Moose Jaw and Saskatchewan. Holy shit. I still have no idea where that is.

Fuck me and fuck that place.

Well. I guess the city as a whole as about 200,000 people in it. So that's kind of big. Philly has about 6 million, so Regina is getting up there. And they have some hip hop. I guess Regina is called Queen City, which is kind of like Queens, NY. So if this song is their anthem, I guess it's representative of their hip hop. Let's check it out...REGINA SHIT!

TRON LEGACY BEAT! But whaaa?? Singing kicks this shit off, so I'm automatically calling this song trash...

"We're from Queen City where we get that dough,
where we rock that show, where we lose control,
where the shortys nahflow-oh-oh*
where the shortys naghlow-oh-oh* Queen City"

*could not understand

Whoa! That sounds like a good City! I want to move there! HAHAHA. JUST KIDDING. That sounds like a shit city. Where the autotune is used poorly, and the shortys do something that nobody understands. What do the shorties do at the Arctic Circle? Got flow? Girl, that's nasty? Who knows.

Then we get some rapping! And it's not that bad. I mean it terrible, but it sounds about the same as shit out of our American south, which is also hollow garbage. Party in the city shit. Who cares? The second guy is shit:

"Lazy Four gotta get it poppin' good
Take it to the city up in your hood
'G' - double 'O' - 'D', for sure
we got this, baby, Lazy Four
Four from the city's still not good, I get my dough...
My heart is in the city
...I do my thing until I go"

I didn't want to say this, but that's just a lazy rap. Lazy like their name. Dumb. Lazy. Dumb and lazy. Like no thought at all went into it's creation. Whatever sewage is filling up the rappers thoughts at the moment spilled out of the mouth and on to the track. "Spilled" might not be the right word, more like "dumped". The rapper dumped his mind sewage into our ears. Sewage is urine and feces mixed together. THIS WHOLE SONG IS SEWAGE AND SO IS CANADA.



Ka-PLOW. You got delphed, son.

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