Monday, December 17, 2012

Yo! Check Out My Cover: French Montana "THE ‘MAC & CHEESE 2’ APPETIZER"

This is the series of posts where I evaluate some cover art without hearing an album, and then I pass judgment on entire states. Well, we’re changing things up this time. I’ve actually heard one of the tracks off of this album (and it was awful), and when I went to pull the art I was amazed at how bad it was. This is from French Montana. A big name guy (I guess)! Why is it so bad? Let’s try to figure this stinky bastard out:

Wholly Cow! You might guess that this album is called “Black Friday” right? That was my first guess. But nope. It’s called “THE ‘MAC & CHEESE 2’ APPETIZER”. What?

Let’s start with the legend, the man himself, French Montana. Who has apparently decided to go to the worst store on earth: Best Buy. We all know that Best Buy is a nightmare to visit any time of year, but on Black Friday it’s even worse: it’s a horrible store packed to the gills with pushy cheapskates.

Actually, this sign makes me think that he’s at a Walmart…which is way better than Best Buy, but still awful.

So what is our hero doing at Walmart on Black Friday? Shopping, doy. It looks like he’s purchased a grocery bag full of Mary Jane. Wait, that doesn’t make sense. He’s in a Walmart, in the crowd, on Black Friday, at the deli

So he’s probably buying seasoning or some shit. It’s got to be a great deal because the crowd is intense. Doorbuster shit:


It looks like he got a few bags, but he didn’t really need to rush because there are like two pallets full right behind him.

Now, I’m sure he’s somewhere cold since he’s dressed so warm. But he’s also dressed like an idiot. Dude, you’re inside a crowd. It’s hot and sweaty. Take the nerd hat off. I’m sure it was a rush to get to the deli but still, I don’t want you to have a heat stroke or something.

Now, how classy is it to get to the Black Friday Deal, get a load of discounts, and then turn around and flip off the crowd? That’s a jerk move.

Also, I see you’re at the register, but please, put your giant wad of money away and just pay with your ducking debit card. You’re holding up the line. No wonder the crowd is looking upset; some jackass is paying with cash. They’re probably yelling at him to hurry up, so he flips them the bird.


Finally, why are the names on the sale signs in Walmart? Do they have CD’s on sale? I think not. It’s just a stupid cover. The worst.


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