Thursday, January 31, 2013
J Melon "Call Me Melon"
And another one. It's J Melon Bitch. Coming for you 2012.
First of all, who? J Melon Bitch? Never heard of you.
Second of all, HAHAHHA HA did you see that cover? Wow! Album cover of the year. It has bullet cylinders on cantaloupes. Let me repeat that:
Bullet cylinders on cantaloupes.
Melon! Then the triple picture! Three J Melons! And they're looking at the gunaloupes like "that's captivating". HAHAH! Then it says this:
MELON ON THE RISE
What? That is so weird. I know it's his name or something, but still, it's odd.
Can life get any better? No. Well, I see that he has a song on here called "Call Me Melon", it's track 5, let's check that out. I wonder if he is making a request like "My preference is to be called Melon" or if it's a demand like "CALL ME MELON OR ELSE". I would have a hard time calling anyone Melon. It's silly.
Ah, this is a song where J Melon "tells em who [he is]". Dude, we can read your fucking stupid name. Plus, the song is just normal. Like he said I want to make a song like every mixtape rap song ever.
"I'll mention how good I am at fighting! And I Can't forget the ladies! I'll rap about them too! Hmmmm. What else? Ah, drugs! Everyone like that. And getting signed. How smart I am. How much I shoot. How good I rap. How much money I have. How little money everyone else has. Uh, how I drive around town...I won't mention my lack of photoshop skills....or naming myself skills."
So normal. I will call you Melon Bitch, since that's what you want to be called. I'll also call you wack (behind your back).
IN CONCLUSION: Get more creative. A lot more creative.
CALL ME MELON SCORE 0/10