Wednesday, December 5, 2012

U-God's Resume #71, "Spit Game"

--Official Stats--
Artists: The Hillside Scramblers
Song: "Spit Game"
Producer: Leatha Face
Album: UGODZ-ILLA Presents The Hillside Scramblers
Release Date: March 16, 2004

This is a military instillation you disgusting little puke. I am the general, and I expect to be treated with respect. HAHAH! Joking! Nobody respects anything on this crappy blog. Especially when some coattail riding slackers phone in a crappy hip hop album with a cheap looking cover and end a word with "Z-ILLA" (does the hypen have anything to do with copyright infringement? DOES IT? Becasue why not just say 'U-Godzilla presents'? Also, since U-God's name is hyphenated to begin with, wouldn't the actual title be U-GODZ-ILLA? Stu-pi-d)

Fuck. This song has U-Godz-illa, INF-Blackz-illa, Leatha-Facez-illa, and Autumn-Ruez-illa. How can it bad with so many smart and talented people working on it?

 Let us partake:

"Spit Game"

DAMN IT! SERIOUSLY? I'm 20 seconds in and it's wack as hell. Wacker than hell. What is wacker than hell? That's a philosophical question. Could U-God create a stone that was too heavy for him to lift? Think about it.

Whatever...wholly shit:

"Spit game...spit"

With a hook that hot how could anyone not spit game? Plus a beat from the Fisher Price Let's Make Music Keyboard (ages infant - 2 years)...

In all seriousness, the melody sounds almost the same as the melody in "Milk the Cow" by Cappadonna, but WAY WAY WAY more garbage.

Crap. Nobody has even rapped yet and I hate this song. The only one who could save this beat with an ill verse is Big Boi, but I'm sure he's too busy RAPPING LIKE A BOSS to appear on this rookie shit.

Ah, U-God is up first. And he sounds okay. Not bad at all. What? Well, he flows right on the beat. I think he mentions that he is "capsized in the game"...which means he is overturned and immobile. That's about right. He also says he'll "bang you out", so watch out for that. Whoever follows this is going to have a tough job, not only are they following a decent verse from the only recognizible name, they are also rapping on a gutter clog beat.

After another pitiful chorus we have someone else rapping! And it's a pretty normal verse. Nothing Special at all!

Third up is, uh, someone else! Who "talks" their way "out of beef" so that they have time to "get the heat". That's lame-o. You should be packin' all day, sucka. Fuck your time-buying tactics, I stay ready. Plus, he says that he doesn't care that I don't like him, because I "don't excite [him]". Fuck exciting you. That's silly shit. What? Are you going to "bang" me now? Like how you threaten to "bang" some "little lames"? HAHAH! Go ahead and "bang" them. It sounds like you want to do something else that doesn't involve guns. Hhaha. Next!

We end with a singing verse and it's worse than you could imagine!

  IN CONCLUSION: WEAK AND EMBARASSING. If you were rolling with your "trues" and you turned on this shit, you'd probably get "banged".

Track Score: 0/10
U-God’s Score: 5/10
Impact on Rep (+,-,=): None (nobody heard this)

Next Week: Who cares? More Scramblers trash.
About this series: “U-God’s Resume" is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.

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