U-God's Resume: Album Review "Golden Arms Redemption"

HOLY CROW! We just spent like three months reviewing U-God's first solo album "Golden Arms Redemption". That's a LOT OF TIME. Too much time. Way too much time. In the end, this exercise only hurt our opinion of U-God. Let's be honest, Golden Arms Redemption SUCKS. But I don't know if it's fair for me to just say that - we're just one small, stupid, insignificant blog that wastes a lot of time being really dumb. Maybe we should check ourselves.

"Good idea" - Ice Cube.

Let's start by taking a look at the score we gave each song of this album, track by track, to see what our average score is:

1. "Enter U-God" 0/10
2. "Turbulence" 0/10
3. "Glide" 0/10
4. "Dat's Gangsta" 0/10
5. "Soul Dazzle" 4/10
6. "Bizarre" 3/10
7. "Rumble" 6/10
8. "Pleasure or Pain" 7/10
9. "Stay in Your Lane" 3/10
10. "Shell Shock" 3/10
11. "Lay Down"1/10
12. "Hungry" 0/10
13. "Turbo Charge" 0/10
14. "Knockin' At Your Door" 0/10
15. "Night the City Cried" 5/10

Golden Arms Redemption Score 2/10

(an average of all track scores)

That's not a surprise. In fact I think that's exactly accurate. The production on this shit ranged from bad to worse for the entire album, even tracks that the RZA produced stunk it up. No beat was particularly banging, and while the rawness was there, it wasn't good raw...it was boring raw or at best mediocre raw. Plus, I think U's style overwhelms anything he spends a lot of time spitting on, that's not necessarily a bad thing, but when there are no change ups, and U is just stringing together random thoughts, it gets a little hard to listen to.

I remember seeing a RZA quote that said something like after Wu Tang Forever, solo projects would be more like solo projects, and not feature everyone from the Clan. He thought that each solo album gave away the whole team, so he reduced the Wu guest lists on all followoing albums, including this one. That was probably the dumbest move in Wu history. Why? Before Forever, each solo album was like a Wu Tang project. That was a good thing. With the exception of Tical no album got weighed down by any one MC, that's part of what made them so good. Then we have this change of philosophy, and the number of classic solo albums dropped from "common" to "rare". Golden Arms and Deck's solos were the first casualities of the "go it alone" attitude. Pretty much everyone else in the Clan after this suffered thanks to this boneheaded idea (except for Ghostface and RZA).


Let's also not forget the large scale incorporation of the Wu Tang production team, which is good at what they do, no doubt, but in the end they're just making beats to sound like the RZA. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. A producer should have their own distinct sound. I can identify a RZA beat almost instantly. I can also pick out Wu-Tang production staff beats instantly, but I usually have no idea who does what. It's Jell-o of from the same packet. Let me be clear, the Wu production team has made some of the best beats in hip hop, but I would have much preferred that RZA hire a team with distinct sounds and innovative ideas rather than clones*. That didn't happen.
*don't kill me

Anyway, this album was really hurt by U doing all of the heavy lifting by himself, and the producers doing very little lifting. This was the first bad Wu Tang album, along with Uncontrolled Substance, and Immobilarity which all came out at the same time. Oh, wait, Tical 2000: Judgement Day was the first bad Wu Tang album, this one was second.

So that's that.

But how did other people review this album? What does our competition say?

The People Have Spoken with their $$$

THE PUBLIC
Well, first of all, this album sold gold, so half a million people bought this album (including me). That's a lot. That says something about the respect for the name. The album hit #58 on the billboard top 200, and #15 on the hip hop and R&B charts, if you care about that, and you do.

I would say that the public liked it!

THE RECORD COMPANY
According to the RZA's book, U-God got a million dollars to sign with Razor Sharp records. That's a ton of money, they must have been expecting big things, and thought pretty highly of our boy. (For the record, the entire clan only got $200k when they were first signed to Loud). So the record company liked this (or at least the marketability of it). P.S. I didn't read RZA's book because that is so booooring, I just saw that fact on the internet which is so interesting. 


Fat Cat record company people liked it!

ALLMUSIC

allmusic, which is some kind of online music review warehouse, gave it a 3/5 (or a 6/10), way higher than us and way out of line. What album were they listening to? Where is this warehouse?



Boy I'm having trouble finding other reviews...



AMAZON
Uh, Let's look at the public reviews on Amazon:

49 People gave the album an average of 3.5 / 5 (or a 7/10). WTTFFFF? Let's get into the details from the reviewers comments:

"This CD has to be one of the best to come out of the clan lately"

"This CD is tight. The beats are tight, and U-God's rhymes are sharp. This sounds like a classic wu album...You better recognized."

"...this album is Wu classic. Raw hip-hop, classic. So far it's one of the best Wu-Tang solo, don't sleep on this LP please, it's magnetic."

Magnetic! WHAT? Well, I guess the fans disagree with us too. Except this guy:

"Yall going to Hell for lying....The Whole CD is Whack"

Thank you, guy.

HIP HOP ISN'T DEAD BLOG

Okay! Let's move on to everyone's favorite hip hop blog: Hip Hop Isn't Dead for Max's review:

"BUY OR BURN? Neither. Don't even bother; nothing on here is that good anyway. "

Ah, that one makes sense. At least another blogger agrees with us.

NME
Okay,we'll finish strong with NME, whatever the hell that is.

I guess NME is some UK shit. What do they know? Nada. Proof: they gave it a 7/10 too! WHY?

"...his debut solo album, coming out as raw as anything from The RZA's stable since 'Protect Ya Neck'."


Good GRIEF. Go back to worshiping your royal family and being generally snooty...and stop reviewing hip hop ya plonkerz.




IN CONCLUSION: I QUIT! We apparently don't know what we're doing. We give this album a 2 out of 10, everyone else (mostly) calls it their generation's "Protect Ya Neck". We're out of touch. We're too old for this. We don't know what we're doing.


OVERALL TORT TEAM SCORING ABILITY SCORE 0/10

U-God's Resume #44, "Night the City Cried"

--Official Stats--
Artist: U-God
Song: 15. "Night the City Cried"
Producer: The RZA
Album: Golden Arms Redemption
Release Date: October 5, 1999

I'm doing this review a little differently. I'm so excited to be done with this album and never listen to it again that I am reviewing this song at the same time as the previous track Knockin' at Your Door, and I'm running the posts back to back. The last song was so bad that I can't wait to be done with this whole shit. I want to wash my hands of it, let's just get it over with. I can imagine myself in 1999 driving down the New Jersey Turnpike listening to this shit for the first time, looking over at the CD player and realizing that I was moving into the last song of the album and having the same feeling: I want to get this last song out of the way so that I can move on with my life and listen to some Ironman. So let's finish this and then listen to some Ironman...

My thoughts before starting? I bet U is going for the nostalgic yet heavy feel of I Can't go to Sleep from "The W", which is str8 dope. Ghostface Killah starts that shit out: "The Technique is ill son, watch how I spill one...." and it just blows up from there.  RZA takes a verse as well. So we have two incredible MCs tearing the shit out of that track. It's a slow beat, paced propery, with deep lyrics, and it draws you right in. It's powerful. In fact, RZA's verse is so good I gotta print a few of the lines:

RZA from "I Can't Go To Sleep":

I can't go to sleep, I can't shut my eyes
They shot The Father at his moms building seven times
They shot Malcolm in the chest, front of his little seeds
Jesse watched as they shot King on the balcony
Exported Marcus / Garvey cause he tried to spark us
with the knowledge of ourselves, and our forefathers
Ohh, Jacqueline you heard the rifle shots cracklin
Her husband head in her hand, you tried to put it back in
AMERICA'S WATCHIN, BLOOD STAINED INK BLOTCHES
MEDGAR TOOK ONE IN THE SKULL FOR INTERGRATING COLLEGE
WHAT'S THE SCIENCE? SOMEBODY? THIS IS TRICK KNOWLEDGE
THEY TRY TO KEEP US ENSLAVED AND STILL SCRAPE FOR DOLLARS

Well, this review is over. That verse is amazing and IT'S NOT EVEN ON THIS TRACK. My mind has gone to better places to protect me from what is about to come. So now that I've set the bar impossibly high, let's check out U-God's Night the City Cried...

15. "Night the City Cried"



I was right! U was going for a deeper cut, and it works*. It's not quite as impactful as that other song I mentioned earlier (you know, the one about not sleeping), but I can still see where U wanted to take this track. You should know that he didn't make it, and the failure is mostly on him. The beat is good, it has that tried and true Wu sound (including bass line) - which works, the sound effects kill it, and it flows well. So, it's not bad on the production side of things. Competent. So let's move on to U's work.
*Works in relation to the rest of this album, but in the grand scheme of music, this is a flop.

Problem time: we have too many lyrics. Way too many lyrics. U-God, a/k/a the 4-bar Killer, goes on for like 400 bars with no breaks. It just goes on and on. Typically, I'm a big fan of this type of MC endurance test. Cappadonna earned me as a fan with his extra-long verse on "Winter Warz", and Black Thought solidified his position as one of the best of the best with his long verse on "Web". Long form rap is the best. U-God's attempt this time is a failure. Why? I never got interested in what he was saying, and that's really important. If you lose me in the first few bars, chances are good that I'm not coming back, and I didn't. I tried. I wanted to like this shit. I wanted this to be U-God's Winter Warz long verse, but it wasn't. The components fit together too loosely, U is too monotone, and nothing pulls me in. It just sounds like someone rambling over a regular beat. U's lack of of engagement is unfortunate, as is this song as a whole. I don't like it. It's one of the better tracks of the album, but it's still not cutting the mustard (grandpa). 

In the end I don't think that a chorus would have helped either. Sure, a stellar producer could have done something, I'm sure, but it would have been a lot of work. I think the solution has to do with adding MCs to break things up....and that's not the way to do a solo track. U-God, this verse is just way too much.

At least it ends on a very high note: the Kung Fu sample at the end of the track is perfect. Nailed it.

Golden Arm is as good as his reputation says...with his bare hands...he stood all of us off. And if he had weapons......

Golden Arm never uses weapons...says he doesn't need 'em. He says using his bare arms is the best...and he's probably right. Nobody's beaten him yet. Just using his arms

Oh, and the lyrics are REALLY LONG and there is no way in hell that I am proofing them. You're on your own with that kid.

Track Score: 5/10
U-God’s Score: 5/10
Impact on Rep (+,-,=): None

I Can't Go To Sleep Score: 10/10

Next Week Tomorrow: Our overall review of Golden Arms Redemption (don't worry, it won't be boring or long). Then: we see what U-God was doing with Blondie on "No Exit". Yep, Blondie.

LYRICS

Night falling, red dawn, without warning or beef
Late night city life, in the dark Manhattan fog, creep
wit' cats and dogs become meat
All that is sacred
My body lay naked
Aching for some weeks, maybe it was a hostage taken
Some money making Jamaican
High for thuggery disgrace on did him ugly, kicked his bloody face in
Maybe he was mistaken for some great man
In a dirty place he lay in a gray basement
Shaking his scabs, crack bag, stabbed up four times, strong!
With a long rusty Jason
Dumped the smoldering corpse in a dumpster truck of garbage
In this mad man hell he laid in
Logical was hatred
Some replacement killer came through, left small traces
Engraved his chest
Left him for death
Left him on his last breath
Crawling, just to make a statement (hu hu huh)
In this matrix
Subconsciously gazing the soft shell of a man
Somehow found, amazing!
By the department of sanitation
Under city lights to the hospital
Hit him with the chest rockers, shockers
Pop him open just to keep his heart racing (Clear)

(Chorus)
Will he make it?
Will he survive?
Terror in his eyes
Night the city cries
Payback is crime
He damn near died
Banished my wounds not mine
The city cries, drama ride
Guns out the window, slide
Before me now the city cries

(U-God)

Unconscious for months (beep beep)
Deep in coma shock
When you awoke, it was hope
Dry throat
Choking off tools, being fed ice cubes
Pain in you head
Change of the bed
Doped up and soaking while police on top
Doctors monitor your heart (heart beating)
Sergeant Bilko came in with some zombie ass cops
What we have here the chief embraces
In his hands he pulls out two briefcases
A picture popped up on computer
One woman, one man, sharpshooter
He asked you do you remember these two faces?
'Mind you you're blind, completely hung out to dry, victimized
Violated as if you was raped
What the hell
You escape well
Police investigated the scene
Scrape the crime scene
Down to the bone panel
While you lay frail in the enamel
Under you nails in the scuffle
You scratched some DNA samples that match
The blood on your clothes are not yours, it was his
Right before you blacked out, took that blow
In September, you can't remember
You ripped his nose ring
Right out his nose
Before he took it four times in the ribs
But somehow he lived
From the little bit of blood you grabbed
His skin type, you ran it back to forensic labs
Your finger prints popped up
This is where it begins
Your street name was Henry the Saint
Staten Island's where your crib was at
Park Hill project was your outlet
You was a target
Or organized outfit
Not by the mafia, this where it get chills
Your wife hired some hitman to kill you for your ten million dollar will
Money fund drill
Booby trapped perhaps
Left his food for the rats
Now...

(Chorus)
Will you make it?
Will you survive?
Terror in your eyes
Night the city cries
Payback is crime
You damn near died
Bandaged by wounds not mine
The city cries, drama ride
Guns out the window slide
Before me now the city cries

(U-God)

One cop's weakness
Was heroic, he exposed pieces
Leaked out information
On surveillance where his wife was staying
Police tracked her down
Blood hound on the east side of town
In some skyscraper
They had video tapes of her
And some porn star fling, her and the next door neighbor
And the killer with the nose ring
But the police didn't have a case
'Cause the victim couldn't remember a thing
Not even a face
He had to clear his name
He bit off more than he could chew
His absent minded flash backs grew
And grew to hate
He had to escape
To ICU
On the second day he came through
He concocted the impossible
The psych' slipped out the cuffs
Somehow killed to armed guards (bang, bang)
Grabbed their guns
Before he fled the hospital, slivers into the night
If police hunting was right
He's seeking for justice
Off point bulletin
On a black male Jamaican
Meanwhile a dark lookable crook
Is in a alleyway for retaliation
A limo pulled across the street from a gas station
He saw his wife
And the nigga that knifed him
He wanted to mash him
He was real patient
A devilish growl sensation
And the rain grew to a foul meditation (sound of rain)
Of betrayal, murder revenge
Bitch that set you up will get hers in the end
In the hall of the lobby floor
Security on post
Got gun butted three times in the head with the old dusty toast
Now he slipped past the video cameras undetected
To the 25th floor
Apartment 504
When he rang the bell (ding dong) sweet voice said
She cracked it open, her reply I thought you was dead
In a matter of seconds and inches
The door was hanging off the hinges (crash)
Her eyes met the metal
She screamed Oh my God
Out the back room the killer with the nose ring
Smashed the nigga in the head with a porcelain vase
Shots ricochet like lightning roads
Put the bimbo in arms
The drapes caught on fire, with no alarm
They crashed out the window, but they somehow held on
Dangling from a hundred stories high
Don't doubt him
Will he make it?
Continued next album

(Chorus)
Will he make it?
Will he survive?
Terror in his eyes
Night the city cries
Payback is crime
He damn near died
Bandaged by wounds not mine
The city cries, drama ride
Guns out the window slide...

Golden Arm is as good as his reputation says
With his bare hands he stood all of us off
And if he had weapons...

Golden Arm never uses weapons
Says he doesn't need them
He says using his bare arms is the best
And he's probably right
Nobody's beaten him yet
Just using his arms he beat us all then
We had no chance
He had us cold

About this series: U-God’s Resume is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.

U-God's Resume #43, "Knockin' at Your Door"

--Official Stats--
Artist: U-God
Song: 14. "Knockin' at Your Door"
Producer: John the Baptist
Album: Golden Arms Redemption
Release Date: October 5, 1999

We're finally almost at the last song of the album! It's this one, and one more, then we're done. For Knockin' at Your Door I see that Baby U  brought back in his buddy John the Baptist, we know old John for his work on the world famous song Lay Down (also on this album). I seem to remember hating that song because of the beat and the chorus, so things aren't looking good today. But maybe I shouldn't judge the track by the producer before I've even heard it (even though I did that very thing with the Trackmasters for years). It'll probably be great right? Let's see...

HOLD ON! I just started the track, I made it literally five seconds in and I ALREADY HATE IT. WHAT THE F KIND OF BEAT IS THIS? IT SOUNDS TERRIBLE. Like your little nephew was trying out his new computer and threw something together to embarass his uncle U-God. Good Grief this is going to be torture......

14. "Knockin' at Your Door"



On the good side, U's first verse is okay, but any goodwill he earns is absolutely destroyed by the chorus. He takes the song Let 'em In  by Wings and just runs with that weak shit. Here it is...

Someone knockin' at the door (spark the war)

Somebody bringin' it swell (brain cell)

Y'all really want the fuckin' war (Go god)

Golden Arms bringin' it swell (Break down)

Hmph. I guess I should point out that when U is saying "swell" he means the present tense of "swole", not "swell" like neat-o. Okay? Still, how can I still be dissapointed when I expected this to be something terrible? I don't know.


After getting hit over the head with that chorus Letha Face comes in with a decent verse as well. So we have two decent verses over an awful beat with a terrible chorus. You just can't win with Golden Arms Redemption. And HOLY GRAVY, the chorus is different the second time! Is it better? Nope:

Somebody rockin hardcore (spark the war)

Somebody bringin' it swell (brain cell)

Y'all really want the fuckin' war (Go god)

Golden Arms bringin' it swell (Break down)

What is it with U-God and "Rocking"? He's always talking about "rocking" and nobody that I know want's to do it. Drop it. DAMMIT after another verse by U we get anoter variation of the chorus.

Y'all want the fuckin hardcore (spark the war)

Golden Arms bringin' it swell (brain cell)

Young Guns out for the cause (go god)

Golden Arms ringin' the bell(raise hell)

Bell, beeeeelllll, bell, bell, beaaahhh, baaahhh, buh 

I am not a fan of ANY OF THIS.

Track Score: 0/10
U-God’s Score: 0/10
Impact on Rep (+,-,=): Harms


Next Week: U-God's last track from his solo, track 15: "Night the Ciry Cried"

About this series: U-God’s Resume is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.

U-God's Resume #42, "Turbo Charge"

--Official Stats--
Artist: U-God
Song: 13. "Turbo Charge"
Producer: The RZA
Album: Golden Arms Redemption
Release Date: October 5, 1999

Dear U-God in 1999,


You do not know me, but I'm a blogger from the future (2012!) and I'm emailing this back in time to help you out and also to chastise you.


First of all, how have you been? Good I hope. Uh, what's up with Bill Clinton right? That guy, what a character. Oh, and Jar Jar Binks: that's probably big news. What an a-hole. Selling albums? Great (don't get used to that, nobody sells albums in 2012, our phone rings are the only way people hear music). Best Buy doesn't even really have a CD section anymore! Can you believe that! The future is all Apple Computers and recessions!


So anyway I am writing this you to ask you a question about your solo. What in the hell is up with the song titles on the album? They're all the same. It's either a verb "Glide" "Rumble" or another irritating word "Bizarre". Or it's a combo like "Turbo Charge" or "Shell Shock". Not very creative. "Dat's Gangsta" is embarrassing. I don't like any of them. Your fellow clansmen have really cool song titles like "Apollo Kids", "Mantis", and "Dangerous Grounds", you get the idea. Cool shit. I want to hear a song called ""Hyperdermix" not "Soul Dazzle".  I guess what I'm trying to say is get more creative on your song titles, they're a real downer. Don't worry though, this isn't a big deal in our time, just something that bothers me. You've had a few more solo albums since this one and the Wu is still around. Raekwon is releasing a mixtape like every month!


So, signing off! - Dag Dilligent (2012)


P.S. Avoid flying and Lower Manhattan for all of September in 2011 and sell your house in about 2005 and don't buy again until at least 2011. Bet everything on the Red Sox in 2004.

ALL THAT NONSENSE AND WE HAVE A SONG TO REVIEW....this one is produced by the RZA, so we have hope:

13. "Turbo Charge"



See how good U-God sounds on a RZA beat. His levels are perfect. Everything else is a mess though. The beat is awful. What in the hell was the RZA on in 1999? It's a competent beat, like it's got all the stuff that's supposed to be in a beat, but IT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD. And that chorus! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bon Voyage to this shit. I think U's verses were good, but it's like he was trying to rhyme over two bad beats playing at the same time. Once again, it's a hint of greatness overshadowed by something enormously bad. It seems like a lot of these songs have something good: the beat, or the lyrics, or something; and then a terrible thing. The good stuff just never seems to appear on one track without the bad stuff. That's one of the worst reviews that anyone has ever written.

Track Score: 0/10
U-God’s Score: 0/10
Impact on Rep (+,-,=): Harms


Next Week: U-God's solo, track 14: "Knockin' at Your Door"

About this series: U-God’s Resume is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.

--Terrible transcription of Lyrics from Metrolyrics--

Rocket on...to the break of dawn...elevation yo...
(Verse)

  Elevation smell the vibration

 mystique beneath the beat cave in

Super freak meaty bone tones

discreet goncha leave is a sweet sensation

(egg is I) forsaken take over in the making live wire retire all great men

mic-pope rope-a-dope (ma-des-en)

intention Broke through your fences now this is the redemption

 Nerve wrechin unstoppable high colossal

 tonsil obstacle-able hard to true bobbin

Shopping through no question

 honey I'm sexual intellectual (vamp) rhyming professional

Swing all the ladies in I directional

potential bright clever and soft

Whatever more encore the shit you adore

hard

[Chorus]

Cause its hard turbo charge and I'm doing shit my way

 Bon Voyage Shoalin dodge nigga

I'm going shit my way

Turbo charge nigga its hard

cause I'm doing shit my way

 Yes its hard praise to god

 nigga I'm doing shit my way

How it sounds

now hold it down right down to the ground...
(Verse)Pleasure the light mic the treasure

strangers in the night

 Can't fight the spinning (lining) of pearl from left to right

 Have guns (yo will) travel milky way dripping in the brisk

 At your own risk silver shadow

That might lurk in the image in the Pharaoh when the road gets narrow

 An hour off after hour devour with the power the background amp

 Wine (your mission) to the party mix champ

Wu stamp genie out the lamp cramp sex position Exposition

body count technician bets deep rising ask killa-shit

Wax __-ize this courage of the fearless wu enterprise

sent to risen Grand prize landslide pipe in holy lighting told me I'm frighten

Goldie the only __ speaking that excitement

U-God's Resume #41, "Hungry"

--Official Stats--
Artist: U-God
Song: 12. "Hungry"
Producer: Omonte "O" Ward
Album: Golden Arms Redemption
Release Date: October 5, 1999

Tort Team is chillin. U-God is chillin. What more can I say? Top billin'. That's what we get, got it good, and since you understood, would you...clap your hands, your hands you clap / If your girl's out of place it's your girl I slap. And if you're dumb, you'll ask why. I am from that Do-or-Die. #AUDIOTWO #CLASSIC

YO! YO! YOOO! BUUU-BAAAAA (Trumpets)! Welcome everyone to another classic Tort Team review! Yet another timeless entry into the U-God's resume series. Today we are looking at the song Hungry, which is a song that I've definitely heard but I don't remember at all!

Since we've been going through U-God's entire first album I can honestly say that I'm tired. Not sleepy, but worn out. This album is really not for me. It's not my taste. Reviewing it is like a marathon. That's why I started this post out with some Audio Two, to pump myself up, to get that second wind. But now that I see this song ahead of me and it's coming into focus I'm starting to lose it already. It's five minutes long, I'm not seeing any guests, and it's produced by Omonte "O" Ward. It's looking like a rough patch. It might be uphill for a bit here. Also, who is Omonte "O" Ward? Well, he produced this song and a song called Middle Finger U for Sauce Money. Things aren't looking good, but we'll let the track speak for itself... 

12. "Hungry"

El Wacko Supremo. "I ain't havin' that!" - Redman. Two minutes of singing over a muddy beat? No thanks. But wait...U spitting over the beat actually sounds pretty good. Not great though, and I don't like the beat at all. I think this was supposed to be a "ride out" song. Which is what I call a long laid-back song at the end of an album that you can just daze out to as you, uh, daze out and the song makes the dazing better (see the last half of Ghost's excellent "Ironman" for an example). Well, this doesn't do that because the singing is awful and too much, the verse was okay, but I'm still never going to listen to this again. WHY IS THIS SO HARD?

--Lyrics (Click HERE!) --

Track Score: 1/10
U-God’s Score: 0/10
Impact on Rep (+,-,=): Harms

Next Week: Only a few tracks left on U-God's first solo album and we move on to track 13: "Turbo Charge". Deal with it.

About this series: U-God’s Resume is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.

U-God's Resume #40, "Lay Down"

--Official Stats--
Artist: U-God
Song: 11. "Lay Down"
Producer: John the Baptist
Album: Golden Arms Redemption
Release Date: October 5, 1999

Rach! This post is actually two things. First of all I died. This is the story of that. It is also the review of the hit* song by U-God called "Lay Down"! I know that you can't wait to get to the review, but you also can't wait to get to that death thing. So, what to do first? How about we do them both at once! WHATEVER.
*Maybe not a "hit" in the traditional sense or in any sense.


Uh, but first, what are my expectations for this track? I don't know. I hope it will be the best, but I'm expecting not to like it (based on the rest of this album).

11. "Lay Down"


Eh. That's not pleasing to my ears. Mainly the beat, and the chorus. Let's talk about the chorus: it's just U saying "lay down...LAY DOWN!", that's not that good. Lazy? And the beat: if I had to describe a generic Wu beat, this would be it. Below average and unimaginative. What a mess. LAY DOWN, SPRAY SOUNDS.

Oh, and the death thing? I'm bored to death with this album and these reviews. That's why they're getting so short. Honestly my first U-God reviews were really long, but I don't have the patience for this crap anymore. I just want to get it over with and go Loady in Japan*. This album is a disaster, I feel bad for U: he caught the front end of the WuQuality downhill slide. He caught it hard.
*I don't want to do that, but it's probably better than this.

Track Score: 1/10
U-God’s Score: 1/10
Impact on Rep (+,-,=): Harms

Next Week: It be U-God's solo track #12: "Hungry". Big deal.

About this series: U-God’s Resume is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.

U-God's Resume #39, "Shell Shock"

--Official Stats--
Artist: U-God
Song: 10. "Shell Shock"
Producer: Hak Da Navigator
Album: Golden Arms Redemption
Release Date: October 5, 1999

I don't remember this song at all, but I'll tell you this right now: If the chorus of this song is just someone saying "Shell Shock" over and over then I'll end the review right there...or, if the chorus rhymes "shock" with "rock". I've had it with these terrible choruses. I don't care if Raekwon is on here, if the chorus is that wack, them I'm gone. Tornado. Hak Da Navigator, whoever you are, please bring the ruckus cleverly...please:

10. "Shell Shock"



Okay? I don't know. The chorus didn't go where I thought it would, nice job...they rhyme "Shell Shock" with "Melting Pot". Thank goodness.


So who do we have rapping here? U-God (duh), Hell Razah (from Sunz of Man), Letha Face (from this album), and Raekwon (from being one of the best ever). So Raekwon obviously wins with no problems, the other three never had a chance here. So since Rae kills it we'll start with him. Rae has the best vocal production by far and he seems to handle the crappy beat (boring beat?) better than U, he gets right to it and stays on-time even if he veers generic pretty quick. Letha Face is quite obviously out of his league as his verse stinks. Then Hell Razah's verse. That guy, right? Always with the religious stuff that gets old. Quite honestly I don't want to hear any of that stuff anymore. I've lost my patience for it. How did the Wu go from Protect Ya Neck to weird religious stuff from b-listers? I don't know and I don't like it.


That leaves U-God. The host with the most. I could go a lifetime without hearing the first few line of his verse. I mean, the content is on, but the flow or something is off, right. He gets his stride at some point, but after that rocky start he isn't saving shit. Plus all the Letha Face. You can skip this song. I know I will forever.

Sadly, tragedy happen
Lost in captivity, imagine me happily clappin
Big barrels, heavy ammo, man the mammal
Packed in commando, rapidly practice soprano
Crack my fingers on pianos
I torture you with orchestra tackle
on your back, the jackal
No time to react, combat, flyin shrapnel
Kamikaze degrees, chariots of fire, live wire
Dunn, rock it til your knees drop, over tree tops
Colossal current enforcing, outer bridge crossin
One foot first, is the rebirth, the crime arson
Caution, furnace flyin, deserters try to black ball us
Over the face of the Earth's surface
The heat is heatin up, demon from the east wing
Hitman's bullet, leave you barely breathin and barely seein
A critically blaze, biblical plague in amaze
Riddle the box, smothered in cops
Sky hugger, Space Jam, slam in the blizzard of rocks
A space invader, laced with lasers and with omega weapons
Magnificent 7, this cannibal mouth, gangsta spectrum
Form an animal house, film at 11

Track Score: 3/10
U-God’s Score: 4/10
Impact on Rep (+,-,=): Harms


Next Week: U-God's solo album continues with "Lay Down", we'll listen to it if we can resist the urge to skip to the end of the album and put on something else.

About this series: U-God’s Resume is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.

U-God's Resume #38, "Stay in Your Lane"

--Official Stats--
Artist: U-God
Song: 9. "Stay in Your Lane"
Producer: The RZA
Album: Golden Arms Redemption
Release Date: October 5, 1999

Is this a song about driving or is it something more? Is U-God a special agent for the department of transportation, tasked with teaching citizens the rule of the road? We shall soon see. But you should ask yourself: are you ready to see? Sure. Why not? Do you have something better to do? Are you going to firefighter school or something and you have to learn to manage your hose? No! You're not doing that. So, check out the song, okay. Especially since we've got the RZA on the boards, he's my favorite...he'll turn this clunker of an album into a clunker with one good track, right? I hope so...Let's GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


9. "Stay in Your Lane"

Not bad! I like it. Yo! RZA is a talented dude. I mean the beat isn't great, but at least it's decent and different, and it's a hell of a lot better than most of the other beats on this album. But you know the worst part of this song? U-God. I hate to say that, but it's true. I think that if this song had a few more people on it it would have been much better. The beat is so sparse that it needed a high enegry kick off and it also needed some vocal change ups. I don't know. I'm not an MC. I just wanted someone else to come on the beat and drop a few bars. Shit is monotonous. Let's check the lyrics (from the internet, so probably only about 20% accurate):

Yeah
Tired of all this shit god
Channel you wanna come out?
Niggas betta respect this shit
I see, I see the same ol' rap cats gettin real lame
Same ol' funny cats
Radio Cats
Dummy Squads
Get one gold record step in the party hard
Like Tyson with ten body guards
Quiet stormin, we still countin enourmous odds
One enter this shit, in a sence represent
Just the sun drenched the gods up
Kept his law start date March 5th ninteen nintey nine
Mighty Healthy, wealthy for fine
Braveheart, veins, respect mines
Before the war happened we connect to your glass spines
And as we bash heads, clash nines, who said you could use my lines?
Who said you could rock my Wu sings?
The golden eye chastisment
Supreme team shit
Spy versus spy shit
Small crimes comitted
Tryin it wit my shines on
Gimme mines
Suppost to be comin wit proper flows son
Over the hill, headed with thrill on elephants
Till the buffalo guns
The greatest of all times
This time, I'm not go'n say no names
If you not one of the same I suggest you

[chorus]
Stay in your lane
Stay in your lane
Stay off my stage, stay in your lane
If you ain't from the grain
If you ain't my main man like RZA
Stay in your lane
Stay in your lane

[Verse 2: U-God]
The run-away train double the sting
Me and Edith stay beneath us
Flip like Batman and Bruce Wayne
Don't take my kindness for weakness
36 peak shit
Sweetness, ride the bridges skim the bubbles real fridged
Don't get mad couse we lived it
As our dog we don't trouble you
Tell your bitch and your friends respect that "W" too
Y'all make me sick
Renegade chicks, strap a grenade to my dick
This shit is feather
Stuck in a high, but more callibre job
To rip your best in half
We arm wrestle you till you beg
Pop your legs in the pretzel
The one in the flames and came out the drain
I suggest that you

[chorus]
Stay in your lane
Stay in your lane
Stay off my stage, stay in your lane
If you ain't from the grain
If you ain't my main man like RZA
Stay in your lane
Stay in your lane

[Verse 3: U-God]
The rain of Spain falls mainly on the plane
Ready to bake this shit
Snake verse crane
Detrail me, hope I fell
I'm hot on your tail people
You can't be the light
I came to Earth first by a meteorite
Frog, analog non descript, I gently empty the clip
Crack the whip, rip you from your lips to your hips
Chip for some men off, you fake dreds
Action bitches about me and my black belt degree in rappin
I make a whole lot of shit happen
The moister peal, oyster vapors
Ember on papers
Still scalpin
Y'all piggy backin snakes
Jiggy rap
Shinin like 'Pac, a whole fuckin album
This time, through the flames of triumph
Through the flames of triumph
I ain't go'n play no games
I ain't go'n play no games but I suggest you

[chorus]
Stay in your lane
Stay in your lane
Stay in your lane
Stay off my stage, stay in your lane
If you ain't from the grain
If you ain't my main man like RZA
Stay in your lane
Stay in your lane
Stay in your lane
Mothafucka stay in your lane
You ain't from the grain
If you ain't my main man like RZA
Stay in your lane
Stay in your lane
Stay in your lane
Stay in your fuckin lane
Niggas
Bang bang

Ugh. THAT WAS SOOOO LONG! That's a lot of lane maintaining. This is what they're having kids listen to in driver's ed nowadays. Plus, that shout to the RZA is weak "If you ain't my main man like RZA, stay in your lane.". So does Raekwon have to stay in his lane? You can only have one main man. I guess. Who CARES? Traffic school!

Track Score: 3/10
U-God’s Score: 3/10
Impact on Rep (+,-,=): Harms

Next Week: U-God's solo moves on to the next track, #10: "Shell Shock". Frowny face?

About this series: U-God’s Resume is a series of posts which looks at each line of U-God’s entire career to determine if his status as ‘wack’ is justified (as labeled by internet morons). I think it is not. U-God is dope. We'll prove it. Leave it to the Tort Team.