|Exactly how we felt for 2012 (we're all Freeway).|
WAY BACK in January of 2012, when we published our terrible "Best & Worst" of 2011" entry, I realized that these year-end posts are hard and I should put more effort into them. Well, I didn't. In fact, I put less effort into this post then I did the 2011 post, and i barely put any effort into that at all (look I didn't even bother to capitalize that "i". Lazy). So here is our half-assed look at the best and worst on 2012.
Also, we're not exactly looking at hip hop in general for 2012. We're mainly looking at this lame blog. So fun.
2012 BEST RECORD RELEASE
Kreayshawn "Somethin' Bout Kreay"
It's hard to believe that when we came into 2012, none of us had any idea who Kreayshawn
2012 BEST FIRST RESPONDER
Game "Uncle Otis", "Cough Up A Lung",
I'll spit the same 16 at your eulogy.
2012 BEST PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE OF THE YEAR
It's no secret that none of us around here love voting, or elections, or presidential candidates, or rich people, or the system, or police, or wack rappers. I won't go into it, but we found a fantastic alternative to B.O. Bama and the other guy (who was that again?). CAPPADONNA. Who could be a better president? Answer that. Son wouldn't have even needed a VP. If we could turn back time we would rig the election and get our man in there. You fucks ruined the next four years.
2012 BEST STACK BOYS
$tack Boys (not Stack Boys)
Well, 2012 was the year we met both sets of Stack Boys, and decided which one should win the right to use the name "Stack Boys". Well, the preteens lost to some other teens, giving the $tack Boys the win. Nice job fellas. You still suck, but not as bad as some mallwhore rich kids.
2012 BEST NEW ARTIST
Krispy Kreme (or whatever he changes his name to)
I'm sure I'll regret this at some point. But fuck, kid. This guy released track after track and not only did they sucessfully mock all the shit that is wrong with rap, they're also kind of good. It's kind of genius and kind of annoying. Think about this, this track is at about the same quality as most new shit out there, the rhymes just seem more basic. These words alone locked him in a "best" slot: "haters want to be me". Genius and annoying. Gennoying.
2012 WORST COUNTRY ON EARTH (TIE)
AUSTRALIA & CANADA
CANADA AND AUSTRALIA FUCKING SUCK AT RAP. I've been in fights on Twitter about this. I've been in fights in person about this. I argued with your mom about this. But I stand by it becasue it's a fact. Plus the only people who disagree are from those awful countries.
The only thing I might add is that not only do these two countries SUCK hard at rapping, their citizens are too stupid to know better. This ensures that they'll never lose the crown of terrible rapper nests. Even to England, which is so close to being in a three way tie with these two heaps of shit.
2012 WORST STATE
No surprise here. Almost every time I found an embarassing rap song it was from the garbage disposal state of Washington. "Cram your egg shells in the drain along with the waste water and dinner scrapings and grind that shit to go to the sewer" - That's what I say about Washington. #peeattle #spoklame #holempia
"Pugetsoundia" is a prime example.
Go Ka-Bang like Plow!
Runner(s) up: Idaho, Oregon
2012 WORST PEOPLE (TIE)
SCIENTISTS & COLLEGE PEOPLE
These educated people think they're so smart. Teaching us about medical crap, swearing at us about climate change, and restricting our right to smoke. F U, you're the worst. Don't rap anymore.
2012 WORST COLLABOBlondie "NO EXIT"
People, I know that this song is from 1999, but I heard it for the first time this year and it sucks megahard. I've even heard worse collaboration songs this year (French Montana), but this one is stuffed with people I respect, and I was expecting a lot more.
YOU BLEW IT BLONDIE, MOBB DEEP, INSPECTAH DECK, and U-GOD....YOU LOWERED YOURSELF TO COOLIO'S LEVEL LIKE FIFTEEN YEARS AGO - AND YOU EARNED A SPOT ON THIS LIST.
2012 WORST SIDEKICK / PRODUCER
Leatha Face (Leatha Fase)
This guy singlehandedly ruined the end of 2012 for us with his production work on the Hillside Scramblers nightmare that we've been reviewing. His beats are junk. At least his beats from the early 90's are junk...who knows what he's doing today. Plus, as U-God's right hand man, we've heard way to many of his incompetent rhymes from a decade ago. Hopefully, we won't cross paths as many times with this guy in the one-tre as we did in the one-deuce.
2012 WORST MIXTAPE TITLE
"The Cakeover" by Cako
What a joke.
IN CONCLUSION: That's it! This list should be on the "Wost" side of 2012, no? hatever, I hope your 2013 is more like the Stack Boys and less like the $tack Boys.
2012 SCORE 0/10